[stayd2long]

My son admitted that he smokes 2-3 times a month. He doesn't believe that it will harm him so he doesn't think he needs to stop. We've talked about drug use and I admitted that I had tried it but he knows that my husband (not his father) smokes on occasion so he says it's hard for him to believe it's harmful if his step father does it. I don't condone it from my husband either so he's quit smoking during the week - big deal. But he goes to his friend's house on the weekends and comes home high. At this point, I don't know what to do. Do I leave? It's not like my son will stop if I do. I'm at a loss.

[Kats Playland]

**big hugs** Not to sound mean, but your son might smoke it more than that. But you are right, even leaving your husband won't cause either to stop. Either your son is gonna have to stop on his own or the more you push him to quit the more he will do it. It's the age thing I'm sorry to say. I'm sad to say I use to do it several times a month from that age til my early 20's. It took me having little ones of my own to stop and see that I was just hurting myself, but them too if I did it. I hope it's just a phase for him and he quits on his own, cause in this day and age kids can get ahold of anything for dirt cheap. Good luck hun, and you're in my thoughts.

[abrahamalegre]

yes, let's hope it's just a phase. but you must always be vigilant to see if your son may need some help. my prayers to you and your family

[QueenAngie]

Welcome to the board!

Teenagers are a tough stage and hard on parents - even the best ones.
Enough to give a mother gray hair.

Is his own father in the picture at this point. Time for a father to son talk.
I think you should also be present for joined parenting at this time.

Tell him to stop. That's the best advise I can share at this time.

All the best!

[letschildproofdotcom]

You should definitely demand that all the weed smoking stops now. Weed is a gateway drug and it will lead to stronger drugs once the high from week isn't good enough any more. My brother went from weed, to vicodin, to crack to jail then to death.

[stayd2long]

Thanks for the support. I have told him to stop and his real father has talked to him and told him he's on a road to nowhere should he continue. I know I can't be with him 24 hours a day or ground him for life so I told him I was going to drug test him in a month - since weed stays in your system for 30 days. If it comes up positive, things will start being taken away, the first being his drivers license.

[Samual]

As someone who occasionally smokes weed, you can get very cheap kits from health food stores that rid your system of weed within 12 hours so that you can pass a drugs test, they have always worked for me and is something all weed smokers know about. So testing wont work.

[purelegance]

Originally Posted by Samual

As someone who occasionally smokes weed, you can get very cheap kits from health food stores that rid your system of weed within 12 hours so that you can pass a drugs test, they have always worked for me and is something all weed smokers know about. So testing wont work.

they don't have 12 hr kits in the US. there are pills & ways to rid your system though.. fastest is 3 days. (i went to a very bad high school!) IMO, i don't believe it's a gateway drug. i really think it depends on the person.. how addictive their nature is, etc.

besides talking, i'm not sure what else you could do. maybe start heavy monitoring & make him come home everyday after school ?

[Samual]

Originally Posted by purelegance

they don't have 12 hr kits in the US. there are pills & ways to rid your system though.. fastest is 3 days. (i went to a very bad high school!) IMO, i don't believe it's a gateway drug. i really think it depends on the person.. how addictive their nature is, etc.

besides talking, i'm not sure what else you could do. maybe start heavy monitoring & make him come home everyday after school ?

I find the gateway thing just an excuse a lot of people use as a negative, the majority of my friends are regular smokers, but none of them have taken any harder drugs apart from alcohol. Take a 100 people who drink alcohol, a 100 who smoke fags and a 100 who smoke weed, those who smoke fags are the ones with greatest addiction, then there would be more alcoholics than people dependent on weed. Unless he is smoking weed a lot, once a week or more, it wont harm anything but his bank balance and he'll smell bad.

[llkinsey]

Mom, if you son is 16 and has only smoked some weed, you have done a great job raising him and you should pat yourself on the back. Most kids start experimenting with pot by the time they are 12 or 13 yo. By 16 they have moved way past alcohol and pot to pills, crack or heroin. Dont be too hard on your son or he will rebel and you wont be apart of his early adulthood-which is where he needs you the most. Stand your ground and say "No, its not good for your brain". However, I do not recommend tightening the noose. When he passes 18 and has to earn a living and pay bills-he will understand. Because of urine testing at every job, it is very difficult to get a job if you smoke pot on a consistant basis. Yeah they make stuff you can drink, wash your hair with (folicule testing) and whatever but even that gets very expensive. Just be the mom that he can confide in, discuss things with and always rely on. That reliance that he is building in you is for a lifetime. He will love you for a lifetime and in his 20s will say "Mom, you were right all along. Thanks for loving me unconditionally!!!" My parents were exceptionally hard on me as an only child. I didnt have that support when I was growing up and I took a long, hard, rough road in life. Now Im 40, my brain chemistry is messed up and I have severe depression. I really think that things in life would have been different had my parents given me unconditional love. I hope that you and your son can weather this "mild storm" in his life. Life will get much harder for him and he will need you. You can do the testing secretly if you must, but you will know if he is developing a problem with out it. I wish you all the best-you are doing a great job so far mom!!!