[_kelly]

I'm 21 years old and had been with my boyfriend for about 2 years. I'm 15 weeks pregnant and he just broke up with me a few days ago. He's been very off and on about this pregnancy. He hasn't even called to see how I'm doing. He has this hate for me and I'm not very sure where it is coming from. He is either going to be with me and the baby, or not be with me or the baby. There's no not being with me and still being there for the baby. I'm having a very hard time dealing with this. He always just says he hates me, and doesn't even care. I'm worried he's going to come running back and it's just going to make my life worse even though I want him. I don't know how to deal with this, I'm currently in Virginia this is where my family is and where I grew up. I moved to California with him for 5 months, but came back when I found out I was pregnant for support. He blames me for making him come back when he didn't want to, and I'm so scared that he's going to go back and abondon me and this baby. I'm working really hard to keep my life on track by getting a job and getting my own place and just searching for help. I'm not sure why I'm posting here I'm just trying to find females who have been here...in my same place. It's so hard to keep moving on everyday when the person I love says he hates me and doesn't care that I'm dealing with the hardest thing I've ever dealt with in my whole entire life. It's so hard to keep the tears from falling. I just didn't want to have a baby this way, without a partner and alone. But I am. I know I will love my child with all my heart and take care of him or her. Some days it's just so hard to move on, and then when the father does talk to me it's with hate. I just don't know how to deal with him.

[Dak]

Originally Posted by _kelly

I'm 21 years old and had been with my boyfriend for about 2 years. I'm 15 weeks pregnant and he just broke up with me a few days ago. I know I will love my child with all my heart and take care of him or her. Some days it's just so hard to move on, and then when the father does talk to me it's with hate. I just don't know how to deal with him.

Sorry that I have never been through this BUT I just want to congratulate you on your pregnancy. I am sorry for that your bf seems not interested in this. I am happy that you have the courage of taking care of this child. This is the only thing you need to do. Try to relax and understand the situation you are in. You need not to stress yourself with your bf's refusal. For both you and the baby to be health you need to be happy. Try to think less about him. I know its difficult but try it for the sake of your baby. He might be happy with you later on, you never know as sometimes it happens even in marriage. A man would hate his wife when he knows about pregnancy BUT other men are very happy with their wife's pregnancies. Anyway, wishing you all the best.

[QueenAngie]

Welcome to the board!

Congrats on your pg! This is a very exciting time for you and little one. Makes sense to me that you moved back home from out-of-state, to be with your family at this time, when you need their support & love.

There are many other single mothers on this board. I have not been in your situation.


I am thinking this young man has a lot of growing up to do. He is not mature enough to be a father or a husband at this time.

Just think, if he hates you for getting pg, well, his body played 1/2 of the role in creating this little baby. You did not do this by yourself. Shame on him!

Whether he chooses to be in your life or that of the baby, he is still responsible for child support for the next 18 years. Financial support by law.

Make certain you are going to the doctor, taking your vitamins, eating healthy, drinking plenty of milk, avoiding drugs/alcohol/smoking. Take good care of your own health and that of your baby's too.

Please keep us posted on how you are progressing!

[KayloNillas]

I was in a similar situation before. I know its hard but you need to be mature about the situation. Telling him if you aren't gonna be with me then you can't see the baby isn't right. Not for either of you or the baby. He might be a good father to your child which is what is really important. You don't want him being with you for your child and then resenting you for the rest of your lives. Its better to let you both move on but be civil or even friends for your child. It is possible.

[_kelly]

I never told him he needed to choose me to see the baby. i just feel like, that's how HE would choose. it's either be with me and see the baby, or just disown both of us. i'm not really sure what the deal is. when i start feelings okay being on my own he'll send me or text or something and just said "i just dont know right now i need time to be me". he just doesn't understand. he stresses me out so much, i don't want to cut him out AT ALL. but one part of me thinks for my well being i need to cut him out for just a little while. he can't just be civil with me it's always an argument, even when i don't fight back. all i say is i'm trying to make a home and he's welcome in it if he wants to be. i would never take his child away from him... i just wish i knew the right words to say to make him be there for me. but i know it doesn't work that way at all. i just want to feel okay, and i want to be healthy and i'm trying really hard but every time i speak to him i either get hope or i get upset...and i can feel the baby react too...i'm only a little over 16 weeks but i swear when i feel something the baby reacts i'll get a tight or crampy feeling or a bubbly feeling in my abdomen. either way i am making a home right now, i've got my old lame job back to bring some money in, i've been eating right and taking my vitamins, and i'm getting ready to get an apartment with a friends next door to my father. i'm excited, i just wish the father would grow up and realize what i can offer him and what he can offer this family if he would just try. the part that scares me the most is that i feel he's just trying to be free and not have to deal with the responsibility right now but that he'll just be running back...and i'm scared that if he comes running back to me it will be for all the wrong reasons. i'm just so confused. either way i'm excited about this child, weather i'll be a single mom or not i'm excited and i have faith that i will be okay..

[KayloNillas]

Sorry then its how I read it. Its a good thing you are doing what you need to do for you and your baby. I know it sucks, but you need to remember you are a strong woman and don't need him if he is just going to hinder your progress.