[Momof2kids]

Okay, I have a question...my niece is 6 yrs old and unfortunately don't see her often enough in the last year...about 6-7 times. However, she is very distracted when you talk to her and is very mean. My SIL says she had her "tested" but nothing came up. She was unclear of what was tested. Also, my niece has never played well with others and has a younger brother and sister and they also seem to have the same demeanor. Kindof animal like...take it, it's mine. My niece is now in 1st grade and hates school. My SIL will not say exactly what is going on but that the teacher has suggested a-d-d. I personally think it is bad parenting, never consistant, others are always taking care of her children and when she is around she will say---ahh there kids! They (all 3 of her kids) are wild! My SIL in law says that if she spends one on one time with her and her homework, there is no attention problem. But she can't do it independently. I am concerned that she is going to find a doctor who will label this child as a-d-d and maybe it isn't justifable. I know kids who are a-d-d and she just doesn't fit the bill. What do you think? Am I crazy?

[MissyChrissy]

I don't know about your sis's situation, but I know for a fact some ADD/ADHD diagnosis kids are simply a product of their environment...i.e. bad parenting. I worked in a mental health clinic, and when I brought up some parent/interaction issues I witnessed in the waiting room with the provider, he said that there is tremendous pressure from the schools to medicate these children so they'll sit and behave in the classroom.

The parents never disciplined them, don't hold them accountable, and have no clue how to ensure their kid behaves in school. The schools are underfunded as it is and don't have the resources to have an instructor per child, so they push mom/dad to have an assessment done. Then the school contacts the mental health clinic, and if things don't go the way the school wants them to, they'll report the parents to social services.

It's a cycle I watched over and over again-and frankly, it disgusted me. Of course, admins at the school (teachers, nurses, principal and such) will justify their actions. The system totally fails the kids in these circumstances. I think the parents need intervention, education, and to be held accountable for their lack of parenting before the child is drugged. jmho based on personal, first hand experience.

[MissyChrissy]

Also-my nephew has the diagnosis. He's only had one teacher in all his years (he's now in 5th grade) that could keep his attention. He has to have Ritalin for school....but he's perfectly fine at my house and I never give it to him. He gives his mother a hard time, but not me. He unbuckled in my car on the freeway ONCE...I slammed on the breaks, pulled over hard and got out and opened his door. I buckled him, looked him in the eye and said in no uncertain terms, "You will ALWAYS be buckled in my car!" He never wears a seat belt for his mom--she says she can't make him. That was the only incident I had with him in the car. It's all discipline in his case.

[Momof2kids]

I totally agree with you and feel the same way, I recently had a friend put her son on medication, because of a-d-d and I believe it is a case of bad parenting. She lets him get away with everything----her daughter well mannered and very "controlled" her son, the older one, has the run of the household. I, too, wish that parents could be held responsible for their kids actions becuz I think that this world would be a different place for those kids who lack love and attention. Thanks for your input.

[nana40]

No this happens all of the time, this is why I personally am against ADD drugs. Most kids that are diagnosed with ADD and ADHD have what I call PDD (Parental Defict Dissorder), yeah I have finally named my own disease, guess I will have to call a Pharmacy and see what drug we can prescribe for this one!