[babydawn]

My best friend had a very scary experience yesterday and I thought I would share it so that we can all learn from a mistake that many of us make. My friend lives on 2 1/2 acres and because of it, her driveway is very long. Her son, who is in the first grade, walks to the end of the driveway and waits for the bus to come, as she watches from her front window. Yesterday, he was standing at the end of the driveway like always and a white truck pulled up. She thought that was weird and watched for a second and then her son started walking towards it. She ran out the front door yelling but by the time she got where he could hear her, he had gotten into the truck and it was driving away. She paniced and called 911 and her husband. He went out looking for him while she stayed at home talking to her sons school and the police. Her father in law also went out looking for him. The dispatcher took all of the police in the vicinity off of what calls they were on and sent them out looking for him. Right before they issued an AMBER alert, my friend got a call from school. Her son had arrived. The police went to the school and questioned him. He had gotten into the truck because he "knew" one of the kids in the truck. (He actually didn't even know her well enough to know her name, he just said that he knew her from school. She wasn't in his class or anything). The police figured out who she was and contacted the parents. I guess the guy who picked up my friends son was the boyfriend of the mother of this girl. He had also picked up a couple of other kids. My friend doesn't know about the other kids, but she didn't know this man at all, neither did her son. The police are launching a further investigation because that still seems odd that a man would pick up a child he didn't know from his bus stop. The mistake that I referred to at the top of the page is this: we as parents talk to our children about not getting into cars with strangers. We paint them out to be people who are going to give them candy or something else, or someone who wants them to look for their pets, or even just someone offering a ride. We also talk about someone pulling them into the car. How often, do we as parents, tell our children it is NOT okay to get into a car with a stranger, even if there is another child in there that they know. I know I never have. That scenario has never crossed my mind. I don't know what this man's intentions were. He could have just been a friendly guy who picked up my friends son because it was snowing rather hard, but more believable is that he had alterior motives. Wether it was to get him familiar with him so that he was no longer a stranger, or what, I don't know. But it was fishy enough for the police department to launch an investigation. I just felt that was something that I needed to share, because as I stated before, this was not a situation that I have gone over with my kids (I have now) but it is equally important!

[cocotbo]

OH MY!

Thank you so much for sharing that story. I hope people come back and read it over and over and email it to all their friends!

You know, one day I was driving home and I saw my neighbors' daughter walking home from school. Not even thinking, I asked her if she wanted a ride home (we've known each other for several years). She said no and just kept right on walking.

Then it hit me like a brick in the face! GOOD GIRL!

It hadn't occurred to me until then that most of the people who snatch kids are people that they know and how wonderful that parents are teaching their kids to not take rides from ANYBODY! When I got home, I went straight to my neighbors' house and congratulated them. I felt like a doofus for not having thought about it before simply offering their daughter a ride, but I thought they should know that the lessons they had taught their child were being put to use.

[babydawn]

What is really too bad is that we live in a society where we HAVE to teach our children that, and that it is no longer a smart idea to help out a little kid because you never know what will come of it. After having a long hard think about what happened, I think that maybe I should have the innocent until proven guilty attitude. This guy may just have been trying to do a good deed, but it was very stupid, especially because he didn't know the child or the parents. But then again, he really may be a creep and maybe some good will come of the police investigating him. Who knows. I hope that justice prevails. (If he is innocent and had innocent intentions, they leave him alone, if he is a sicko, they put him behind bars.)

[cocotbo]

Yes, you're right. It is a sad statement about our society.
Not surprising how many parents drive their kids to school these days, instead of having them take the bus.

[irishgal63]

when I was a child that it was 'no big deal' to walk to the neighborhood
grocery store, by yourself, or for all the neighborhood kids to play
together---(relatively)unattended---times have changed DRASTICALLY !

[cocotbo]

Originally Posted by irishgal63

when I was a child that it was 'no big deal' to walk to the neighborhood grocery store, by yourself, or for all the neighborhood kids to play together---(relatively)unattended---times have changed DRASTICALLY !

No kidding! When I was about 4-5 years old, my mother would send me out to play in the morning and I'd go visit my friends on the block. No cellphone, no lojack, no walkie-talkie. All I had to do was run home when I heard my mother call.
I can't imagine doing that with my son now.

[nickyswriting]

Thanks so much for sharing this story. I have written a blog about this, and it didn't even cross my mind either. I will definitely have another talk with my children tonight about strangers.
I remember when I was in the first grade, I was waiting for the bus to come. My bus stop was right next to my house, and my mom sometimes watched. One morning it was raining, but not too hard. Two older men in a white van pulled up next to me (there were other children there, but I was kind of a loner = ) ), and asked me if I wanted a ride to school. Both of them were smiling, but I had never seen them before. I had no idea who they were. I paused for a long moment, remembering my mother's words of advise about strangers. I stepped back away from the van, and strongly said "no thank you". They asked if I was sure, and I said yes.
I still, to this day, have no idea who these men were, or what their intentions were. My mother didn't know either. I grew up in a very small town where my parents knew everyone. It just so happened to be one of those days my mom wasn't watching from the window.
Luckily for me, my mom's teachings about strangers stuck in my head like a broken record. I think back and wonder what would have happened if I had gotten into that van. I might not be here today. Only God knows.
I'm proud to have made the appropriate decision, and that's why I continuously talk to my children about stranger danger.
This is a story I have never heard of, and I never would have thought to tell my kids not to get in a car even if they DO know the person, or someone in the vehicle.
Thank you so much. You potentially saved some lives by posting this. This is extremely important information for parents. Did I say thank you? I'm happy to hear that this story has a good ending, and that the police are launching an investigation.

[shoshanna]

My parents had a "code word" that they would give an adult we knew if they were supposed to pick us up. That way, we would know if our parents really wanted us to go with that person or not. For a while our code word was "sunshine".

For example, if we were at a church activity and my mom couldn't come pick us up and she sent Mrs. Smith to come get us, she would tell Mrs. Smith the code word. Mrs. Smith would say "your mom wants me to drop you off at home and the code word is sunshine". Then we would know it was okay to go with that person. If they didn't bring up the code word, we were supposed to say no, that we wanted to talk to our mom first. By the way, we changed the code word any time it was used so that no one could just hear it in passing and then use it.

I would note, though, that we only used this at about age 8 or 10 and up. A younger child might not be able to remember a code word or might be tempted to tell others the word. You probably want to make sure that your child is mature enough to handle this technique.

[mom13and7]

Just a note about the code word, to make you even more afraid to let your kids out of your sight. I was watching a crime drama show a couple days ago and it highlighted the case of a little girl who went missing for several years, until another child went missing. In both cases they had a suspect (different guys). In the 2nd case they found the girl's body and were able to tie the death to their suspect. He confessed to the 1st girl's murder in order to escape the death penalty for the 2nd girls. It turns out the killer was friends with the suspect in the 1st girl's disappearance (he was the girl's soon to be ex-step father). The idiot step father for some reason had told the killer the code word they used, so all he had to do is drive up next to her, say her name and the code word and away they went. Depressing huh?

[MiaCamille]

when i was reading that i got chills by the thought of what could of happened, thanks for sharing that, we don't think about telling our kids about that kind of situation and we should...