[puttingtogetherpieces]

I have had my grandaughter since she was 6 weeks old. Bio mom overdosed her on Tylenol because she did not want to listen to her cry. Bio dad was in prision. She is now 5. She will be going to kindergarden this fall and alot of the people at the school she is going to know her story. She sees bio mom and dad from time to time, but only knows them as people. People from time to time have addressed us as grandma and grandpa but this seems to go right over her head. I have older adopted children but they went through the foster care system and have always known. Has anyone else gone through this? Or any suggestions? Thank you

[babydawn]

My husband adopted my oldest daughter. He was with me through most of the pregnancy and we were actually married before her birth. We were good friends, but I had a boyfriend. When I left my boyfriend who got me pregnant because he was insistant that I get an abortion, my good friend came to the rescue and we got married. She has never known another father. BUT I did start telling her when she was young that her daddy loves her so much that he adopted her. She is now almost 8 and about 6 months ago, I told her that again, because I wanted her to just always know. She was like "WHAT!!! I'm adopted!" I just told her that her dad is still her dad, he just didn't help make her, and because of that, he had to adopt her. I have even showed her the legal paperwork. She is totally fine with it and has no issues with it. I think the best way personally, is to tell them why the are young. Before they are already trying to figure out who they are. I would say just tell her as simply as possible and don't go into detail until she asks you too. Personal opinion.

[HappyMomAnna]

Grandparents adopt all the time now and there are so many children living with grandparents it is becoming normal.... I am old enough to be my adopted children's grandmother and Sometimes when people who know my biological children see me with my adopted little ones they THINK the little ones are my grandchildren!

For all children growing up with "different" parents then the biologicals I think it is just best to include the facts in the information as if it is just a matter of fact and not a big deal.... Usually, the child will come to stages where a question comes up and we are able to answer the questions age appropriately....Unless, a child REMEMBERS the whole situation....understanding the fact they are raised by someone other then their biological parents usually comes in stages....

It really is a process of understanding that takes place during different developmental stages of life. I don't believe there is ever just a Moment where everything makes sense and is resolved....The feelings, questions and issues will come up during the process of growing up. The important thing is to give true information so nothing comes to the child as a big surprise later.

[HappyMomAnna]

I thought this might be a great thread to point out a series of Blogs I researched and wrote about Raising and Adopted Child. I found this a very interesting series to write and personally learned a lot from doing so!
Part #1 Growing Up Adopted

Part #2 Newborn Placements

The blogs below talk about how some children at certain ages Process Adoption and being adopted.

Part #3 Pre-School Children

Part #4 Children age 4-6

Part #5 Children Ages 8-12

Part #6 Adolescence and Abstract-Thinking

Part #7 Adolescence and Critical Thinking

Part #8 Adolescence and Independence