[nativemommie]

Being a young single mother already i have found myself pregnant once again. I had decided on what to do very early in this pregnancy but have not yet looked at any families. Although i have contacted an adoption agency, it is very hard for them to find families to place my child with. Im not putting my 1st child up for adoption. The child that i am pregnant with now is a mixed child. black/native american. The federal law says i must place my child with a native family. I dont know if i should ask the agency if they can let me look at the families they do have now that are native. Its getting closer to the due date and i have not looked at a single family. What should i do?

[azsummer2003]

Hi,
Gosh, I have never heard before that a mother must place her own flesh and blood with a native american family just because of it's heritage. If every mother had to place her baby into a family of the same heritage, NONE would get placed. But that is my opinion. I have never adopted before nor have I given a child up for adoption. My husband on the other hand did with his first girl friend. They were only 18 when they got pregnant, both of them in college. "C" gave up the baby to a family immediately. It's been 25 years since that day occured and I am currently looking for her as we speak! She was adopted through catholic charites and at that time - a closed adoption. Why am I looking for her? Because our 17 year old son, Taylor, died a year and a half ago and now we only have one child -- a gorgeous 16 year old daughter, Brooke, who is desperate for her brother. I am hoping that if I can find her, perhaps they can give each other the support they probably both need. My beautiful son Taylor
I guess the purpose for all that information I gave you was for several different reasons. First of all, you should be commended for having a child and placing it into adoption. There are many loving people out there that will adore your child. Also, a piece of advice: it doesn't have to be an open adoption to the point where you are required to visit the child once in a while or else you will be painted as the unloving mother, sometimes just making sure the contact info is up to date is enough. Everyone has different needs, please think about your own first.
Try to figure out what it is that YOU want, and then go for it! If you want a native american adoptive family, fine, if you don't, fine. It is ultimately YOUR choice, please don't let anyone tell you differently. Best of luck in your decision. I will keep you in my prayers.
With love,
Lori Burgstahler
AzSummer2003@aol.com

[PamConnell]

Hi native mommy,
I hope things are going well for you.
The federal law does not forbid adoption of native children by non-native families. It says that, if a child is a member of a tribe or eligible for tribal membershipi (each tribe defines this differently) then there is an order of preference for adopting families a) tribal members b) members of other tribes c) non-natives
I think this also may not apply if the mother knows a family she specifically designates to adopt her child. I don't know if that would be picking a family an adoption agency shows to you or doing a private adoption through an attorney. You need to find an attorney experienced with Native American adoptions, my suggestion is to search at adoption.com which lists attorneys in each state, ask them if they have experience with native adoptions.
I will pray for you and both your children. Sincerely, Pam

[nativemommie]

Well I actually found a very good non-native american couple to adopt my daughter. She was born in Feb. and they was here for everything, they are going to try their best to preserve her native american culture, thats all i really wanted and for her to be taken care of. And she is, so therefore i am happy.

[MJ7]

I'm so glad for you. I'm sure your daughter will have a wonderful life .