[MichaelHeart]

Though I usually find myself on the responding side of blogs, I would like to have your views on whether or not I should adopt. First off I should tell you that I am 52 years of age. I have one child, a son, who is now grown. I have been divorced since 1998.

In 2003, I had the opportunity to watch a little girl for the spring, summer and fall of that year. She was 18 months old when I met her. I jumped at the opportunity. From the very first day that I held that little girl, she has held my heart in her hands and she always will. Though I do get the opportunity from time to time to see her still, it's just not the same as spending most of my days and nights with her like I had become acustomed to. I miss her so very much! Many photos of her are in my photo section. You see, that little girl completed me even though she was not of my blood. I raised her like she was my own. I protected her with the ferocity that a lion would protect her cubs. By the end of the summer, she knew how to count to ten, knew the entire alphabet, and was quickly becoming the little princess of my life. I know that I grew attached to her and shouldn't have but the fact remains that I did. Watching her for that extended period of time made me want a little girl again.

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted a girl. I love children, always have. Not having a little girl has made me realize that I am missing out on something that I would dearly love to have. Be that as it may, I never found someone special to share in my dream of having a little girl which is why I pose this question.

I would really appreciate your honesty and forthrightness in your responses. My question is, should I pursue an adoption of a little girl or forget about adopting a little girl due to my age?

God Bless You and Yours,
Michael heart

[EbayMom]

Originally Posted by MichaelHeart

Though I usually find myself on the responding side of blogs, I would like to have your views on whether or not I should adopt. First off I should tell you that I am 52 years of age. I have one child, a son, who is now grown. I have been divorced since 1998.

In 2003, I had the opportunity to watch a little girl for the spring, summer and fall of that year. She was 18 months old when I met her. I jumped at the opportunity. From the very first day that I held that little girl, she has held my heart in her hands and she always will. Though I do get the opportunity from time to time to see her still, it's just not the same as spending most of my days and nights with her like I had become acustomed to. I miss her so very much! Many photos of her are in my photo section. You see, that little girl completed me even though she was not of my blood. I raised her like she was my own. I protected her with the ferocity that a lion would protect her cubs. By the end of the summer, she knew how to count to ten, knew the entire alphabet, and was quickly becoming the little princess of my life. I know that I grew attached to her and shouldn't have but the fact remains that I did. Watching her for that extended period of time made me want a little girl again.

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted a girl. I love children, always have. Not having a little girl has made me realize that I am missing out on something that I would dearly love to have. Be that as it may, I never found someone special to share in my dream of having a little girl which is why I pose this question.

I would really appreciate your honesty and forthrightness in your responses. My question is, should I pursue an adoption of a little girl or forget about adopting a little girl due to my age?

God Bless You and Yours,
Michael heart

I was adopted at birth by a couple who had 3 sons...and the woman longed for a daughter. They were in their 40's when I was born, and she was in ill health...she died when I was 3.
I see no problem in adopting a child at your age...as long as you're in good health, and you have a very reliable backup plan for the child if something were to happen, and you were no longer there, or able to care for her....someone who you trust completely to raise her in your absence.

[MJ7]

Originally Posted by MichaelHeart

Though I usually find myself on the responding side of blogs, I would like to have your views on whether or not I should adopt. First off I should tell you that I am 52 years of age. I have one child, a son, who is now grown. I have been divorced since 1998.

In 2003, I had the opportunity to watch a little girl for the spring, summer and fall of that year. She was 18 months old when I met her. I jumped at the opportunity. From the very first day that I held that little girl, she has held my heart in her hands and she always will. Though I do get the opportunity from time to time to see her still, it's just not the same as spending most of my days and nights with her like I had become acustomed to. I miss her so very much! Many photos of her are in my photo section. You see, that little girl completed me even though she was not of my blood. I raised her like she was my own. I protected her with the ferocity that a lion would protect her cubs. By the end of the summer, she knew how to count to ten, knew the entire alphabet, and was quickly becoming the little princess of my life. I know that I grew attached to her and shouldn't have but the fact remains that I did. Watching her for that extended period of time made me want a little girl again.

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted a girl. I love children, always have. Not having a little girl has made me realize that I am missing out on something that I would dearly love to have. Be that as it may, I never found someone special to share in my dream of having a little girl which is why I pose this question.

I would really appreciate your honesty and forthrightness in your responses. My question is, should I pursue an adoption of a little girl or forget about adopting a little girl due to my age?

God Bless You and Yours,
Michael heart

Michael, you clearly have a beautiful heart and a lot of love to give. You asked for honesty though which I think speaks of your wisdom. I don't doubt you could give a little girl a lot of love, but there is no way you can replace a mother. I really feel children--when at all possible deserve a healthy mother AND father. I don't know what I would do without my mom to guide me as she did in ways (female stuff) that my dad couldn't. To me it wouldn't be the same coming from an aunt or another woman outside the home. I know by your writing you would clearly want to give a little girl of yours the best. Personally, I don't think your age is a shortcoming.

Depending on what rout of adoption you decide to go, you may or may not find issues in this area. It really may be different if you were adopting a little boy, like from the foster system (there are many in need of daddies btw). Though you may never be told that placement could be harder because you are a single man, my guess is that other (esspecially women) people may see the lack of a woman figure for a girl a concern.

I do wish you the best though. You clearly have a "daddy's heart" for a daughter.

MJ

[shoshanna]

I think it is great that you want to adopt! I don't think your age is a problem. However, you may have trouble getting approval to adopt a girl since you are single. Even though most single dads are wonderful, there is a lot of hype in the media when something goes wrong. Because of that, a social worker would probably be reluctant to place a girl with you.

You may be more successful if you decide to adopt a boy. But, if you want to help girls, you might consider being a sponsor for a child or getting involved in a program like the Boys and Girls club.

Good luck and God bless.

~Shoshanna

[MichaelHeart]

EbayMom,

Thank you so much for your comments, your views and your encouragement. Your reminder of a great back-up plan is also excellent advice. Thank you also for sharing your own personal story of adoption. Sometimes, it is so hard to face up to the reality of our past. I never knew my own father.

I would really like to "pick your brain" about the specific issues you faced since you were adopted at about the same age as the little girl that I would want to adopt, although exact age is not an issue. I believe that knowing those issues and how they affected you both emotionally and physically would certainly shed much knowledge on the specific issues that any little girl would face with her adoption.

I ask your permission to add you here as a friend/family of mine.


With much appeciation,
Michael Heart

Originally Posted by EbayMom

I was adopted at birth by a couple who had 3 sons...and the woman longed for a daughter. They were in their 40's when I was born, and she was in ill health...she died when I was 3.
I see no problem in adopting a child at your age...as long as you're in good health, and you have a very reliable backup plan for the child if something were to happen, and you were no longer there, or able to care for her....someone who you trust completely to raise her in your absence.

[MichaelHeart]

MJ,

Oh yes, I am so aware of the stigma whcih is often attached to a single father who wants to adopt a little girl. Great point though!

I also clearly know that I cannot replace any little girl's mother after all, I am the author of Man's Princess, Woman's Knight. The values, principles, Mother Nature's laws, and everything within that one book defines me as much as that book defines most of the masculine men and feminine women in this world who absolutely refuse to sacrifice their morals, principles, beliefs, values, traditions, expectations, or their journey to discover the knight or princess within them and to discover their very own knight or princess.

I fully realize that no man can replace a mother. I also fully realize that no woman can replace a father.

I also know though that there are so very many children in this world who are never adopted past the age of one year old since so many people are seeking an infant to adopt. I am not specifically seeking an infant but if one would become available, her being an infant would not sway me one bit.

My heart is in the right place though, I would love and cherrish that child just as much as if she were my own flesh and blood.

I also understand your point about how women would see the lack of a woman a concern but then, I was never one to listen to people that know nothing about me. I never put any value to those opinions and the truth is I could care less what those people think.

I do so appreciate your views, your comments and your advice. Thank you so much for your forthrightness!

God Bless You and Yours,
Michael Heart

Originally Posted by MJ7

Michael, you clearly have a beautiful heart and a lot of love to give. You asked for honesty though which I think speaks of your wisdom. I don't doubt you could give a little girl a lot of love, but there is no way you can replace a mother. I really feel children--when at all possible deserve a healthy mother AND father. I don't know what I would do without my mom to guide me as she did in ways (female stuff) that my dad couldn't. To me it wouldn't be the same coming from an aunt or another woman outside the home. I know by your writing you would clearly want to give a little girl of yours the best. Personally, I don't think your age is a shortcoming.

Depending on what rout of adoption you decide to go, you may or may not find issues in this area. It really may be different if you were adopting a little boy, like from the foster system (there are many in need of daddies btw). Though you may never be told that placement could be harder because you are a single man, my guess is that other (esspecially women) people may see the lack of a woman figure for a girl a concern.

I do wish you the best though. You clearly have a "daddy's heart" for a daughter.

MJ

[MichaelHeart]

What a wondeful suggestion! I have to admit, I never thought about nor did I even realize that a girl's club even exists! Is this the proper name.

Thank you so very much!

God bless and thanks again,
Michael Heart

Originally Posted by shoshanna

You may be more successful if you decide to adopt a boy. But, if you want to help girls, you might consider being a sponsor for a child or getting involved in a program like the Boys and Girls club.

[MJ7]

Michael, it seems kind of unfair that some agencies may be more excepting of a single mom adopting a little boy rather than a single dad adopting a little girl. Unfortunately, like Shoshana brought up, the media has a way of bringing out the ugly people.

If you are interested in foster care adoptions, HappyMomAnna here has a great site called www.happymomanna.com where you can get information on your states adoption laws and go on the forum and talk with other foster parents that are single and get feedback from their experiences.

I wish you the best.

[MichaelHeart]

MJ,

Thank you so very much for the link which, I will definitely check out!

God Bless,
Michael Heart

Originally Posted by MJ7

If you are interested in foster care adoptions, HappyMomAnna here has a great site called www.happymomanna.com where you can get information on your states adoption laws and go on the forum and talk with other foster parents that are single and get feedback from their experiences.I wish you the best.

[workingdad]

I assume that legally you cannot be descriminated because of your age or your marital status. That of course may not translate into reality, so if you're going to go through an adoption process, be prepared for a struggle. (I don't mean that in negative way, to assume the worst, I just mean that you have rights and you should be ready to stand up for them.) I imagine a social worker would try to make a lot more visits to your house if you have a female foster child living with you, even more than is permitted by law or court order. While I suspect you'd welcome that opportunity to show your "worth" -- that sounds terrible, sorry -- don't allow the system to take advantage of you and pester you more than they are required to.
I can only speak indirectly about foster care and adoption through 1) my wife, who worked in foster care for a few years and 2)an old friend who is still in a legal battle with her nearly-adopted son's biological father. The legal loopholes seem pretty enormous. That said, as much as giving support to a girl through the Girls Club is a great thing, you might not find it quite the same as what you had with that little girl you took care of. This I say as a longtime uncle and a relatively newer father of two girls.
You've been given lots of avenues to pursue here by others. Don't let your age or your singlehood get in anyone else's way to keep you from the process. It's long enough as it is. The only scary part would be that you could be kept in limbo until something does happen to your health. It's sad that there are so many children in need of people with lots of love and a home to share it with and that there are so many obstacles in the way. Having been told what does happen in some foster homes, I understand why those obstacles are in place, but it still seems unfair.
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