[beth]

I am a psychologist with a special interest in adult sufferers of Aspergers. The disorder has only been recently identified as a separate disorder from autism, (recent from a research point of view) and hence many adult sufferers often go undiagnosed. Evne now, it is still most commonly diagnosed in children - adult sufferers are often just regarded as "weird". Any adult behavioral anecdotes would be greatly appreciated. To read more on Aspergers Disorder, simply click on the Mental Health link below. Thans, Beth

[Lee]

Hello, I am new to this site and I saw your info regarding Aspbergers. My son is 18 and I am having a hard time trying to find info to help him. Most of the info is for young children. Do you have more information regarding the blood test that disscussed?
Thanks

[beth]

Hi Lee,
I am assuming you are referring to my article on early detection of autism at
http://mental-health.families.com/bl...est-for-autism

As mentioned in the article, the blood test is still in the experimental stages which means it will be over 12 months before it is available to the public. However, it will be a very valuble aid in the early detection of this condition which is seldom picked up before the age of three. Early detection means early intervention, so that any developments in this area are important for both the child and the parents.
This blood test is for autism, however, not aspergers, which although related in many ways to autism, is a different disorder and is treated in a different manner. There is no blood test for aspergers to date.
I will answer your private question on the other forum. Hope this helps.

Best wishes
Beth

Originally Posted by Lee

Hello, I am new to this site and I saw your info regarding Aspbergers. My son is 18 and I am having a hard time trying to find info to help him. Most of the info is for young children. Do you have more information regarding the blood test that disscussed?
Thanks

[Brownie]

Hi Beth,
Sorry to come to the thread so late; are you still looking for anecdotes?

(Surely there must be an alternative to "sufferers"... ?)

[ADDult_ADDvocate]

Originally Posted by Brownie

Hi Beth,
Sorry to come to the thread so late; are you still looking for anecdotes?

(Surely there must be an alternative to "sufferers"... ?)

There are indeed. Please see my sigline

If interested in a forum where you might get more feedback, please PM me Beth. I know some people who would be interested in helping you with personal expriences and some parents of Aspies who might chime in but they are not members here (not that families.com is not a great place, but because they have too much going on to add another forum to the equation).

A_A

[mominflux]

Hi Beth, I'm just new to forums so I need to get the hang of it. I posted to another thread that seemed to be parents of Asperger's children, which is me, I have a 13 year old with Asperger's. I may also have a husband with it. We have recently separated due to long-standing emotional/physical problems, he doesn't seem to understand how married partnership should work on that level. He is a hard worker, successful computer guy (no surprise if he does have Asperger's) a kind person, but I have been suffering for years not understanding why he seems to reject me. I have just started reading about adult asperger's and partners of those with asperger's and so many things they experience are what I have experienced. My son is actually doing very well in a private school and has been since grade 4, I can't say that our marriage has been over-stressed by his problems, which are small compared with what I read about some Asperger's children. I'm concerned for all of us, my husband wants to share custody equally, which means he will have to make major changes and I don't want him to collapse under the stress. I guess I'm looking for counseling advice for him, for me, for our two boys (my younger guy is just being assessed for his different, but possibly related, LD).

[beth]

Originally Posted by mominflux

Hi Beth, I'm just new to forums so I need to get the hang of it. I posted to another thread that seemed to be parents of Asperger's children, which is me, I have a 13 year old with Asperger's. I may also have a husband with it. We have recently separated due to long-standing emotional/physical problems, he doesn't seem to understand how married partnership should work on that level. He is a hard worker, successful computer guy (no surprise if he does have Asperger's) a kind person, but I have been suffering for years not understanding why he seems to reject me. I have just started reading about adult asperger's and partners of those with asperger's and so many things they experience are what I have experienced. My son is actually doing very well in a private school and has been since grade 4, I can't say that our marriage has been over-stressed by his problems, which are small compared with what I read about some Asperger's children. I'm concerned for all of us, my husband wants to share custody equally, which means he will have to make major changes and I don't want him to collapse under the stress. I guess I'm looking for counseling advice for him, for me, for our two boys (my younger guy is just being assessed for his different, but possibly related, LD).

Hi mominflux,
I am unable to give one-on-one counseling on this forum, but if you wish you can contact me at lifematters@pacific.net.au
Best wishes,
Beth

[ADDult_ADDvocate]

Good forum for your son, mominflux http://www.wrongplanet.net/

OP I am still curious as to why you have not edited the word "sufferers" as well?

A_A

[mominflux]

Hi ADDult_ADDvocate,

Thank you for the link to wrongplanet, I will definitely check it out. I use the word suffering for myself, and it's mostly just from not understanding and not yet being trained to know what to expect from son and husband and the best ways to react. Even with understanding great challenges sometimes arise on all sides of the equation.

I never think of my son as suffering. I am lucky that he seems quite comfortable and confident in his strengths and whatever differences he may notice between himself and others do not seem to concern him. They concern the heck out of me only because I know how much he can be damaged by the negative behaviour of peers and teachers, etc who can't be bothered to open their minds. We all try to maintain a sense of humour and balance, every human on the planet is different from another one. Unfortunately the humans that seem to be in charge of social expectations and norms have a narrow scope.

If you don't mind sharing, I'd like to hear more about your experiences, the good and the bad that might help me deliver the best support to the lad and his dad.

Thanks
Minflux

[ADDult_ADDvocate]

Hello Mominflux . I will be happy to share some of my experience with you.

I was diagnosed at age 40 with severe ADHD, predominantly Inattentive type, and began medication and therapy (prior to this diagnosis, I had recovered from dissociative disorders and been diagnosed with chronic depression and generalised anxiety disorder). Medications are a tool for me only, they allow me to get past my racing thoughts and severe distraction to learn some new behaviors.

I began to notice that even when medicated, I have some severe sensory integration dysfunctions, and that falls into the Autistic spectrum. Perhaps your son can relate to bits of this? Please feel free to share with him!

I often smell things that others do not smell, and if they do smell it, it is not perceived as an assault on the senses. Stenches will make me sick to my stomach. Certain sounds are painful to me, or they overwhelm me to the point that none of my other senses respond (NASCAR racing comes to mind; the sound of the cars takes all thought from my head, blurs my vision, and roots me to the spot...and when the sound ebbs, my first instinct is to run far away from that awful sound!). I cannot stand certain textures and yes, I do stim! I am able to make eyecontact, but I would prefer not to if at all possible.

I am lucky that he seems quite comfortable and confident in his strengths and whatever differences he may notice between himself and others do not seem to concern him. They concern the heck out of me only because I know how much he can be damaged by the negative behaviour of peers and teachers, etc who can't be bothered to open their minds.

Most Aspies feel this way, in my experience and I feel very much the same! As a certain autistic woman would say:
"I may not always like it when non-autistic people bare their teeth at me when they're happy or trying to look happy.
But that doesn't mean it's inappropriate for them to bare their teeth."

And by that she means smiling.

On this planet "norms" or NTs (neurotypicals) or what some members of the ADHD community call "Farmers" make the rules. I believe very strongly that we are all created just as we are supposed to be. Just because we do not fit the "rules" of the prevailing members of society does not make us broken (cannot "fix" us) or ill (cannot "cure" us), it simply makes us different. Take my "severe" ADHD for example and spin it like this:

"Not too long ago, the typical traits of a person with ADHD were actually advantageous. People relied often on specific skills needed to bring home meat for the nourishment of the family. These skills are still valued today in hunter gatherer societies around the world. Fleetness of foot, although strong on sprinting and short on marathon running, ability to change course instantly, ability to make snap decisions, creativity in plotting the path of capture, ingenuity in devising traps, the ability to monitor the whole situation with global thinking skills, all contribute to a successful hunt. Successful hunters also have an extraordinary ability to hyper focus on the task at hand if it is extremely important or interesting. This is often a surprising fact for people who do not understand the full range of ADHD-like behaviors. Imagine the type of individual who would have first explored and then settled this country 300 years ago. It was not only a strength but a necessity to make independent decisions using survival skills in the wilds. Driven by curiosity about an evolving world, a need for physical activity and large muscle activity, and an "every man for himself" mentality, the hunter type flourished. After the industrial revolution, the traditional classroom setting became all important to produce workers for factories with production lines and repetitive work. Suddenly, the need for novelty, individuality, creativity, and spontaneous movement and thought became not only secondary, but actually a handicap which exists today.
Just think for a moment and see if you can answer this question before proceeding. Where in today's society could someone such as Benjamin Franklin appear and feel perfectly at home? I would argue that it would be the traditional classroom, still flourishing across our land. The child sits in the seat and faces a teacher who stands at the front of the room and teaches in a lecture style of teaching. With public education aimed straight for the 50th percentile, many children who have ADHD are at one end of the bell curve, struggling to survive in a world too often devoted to repetitive worksheets, sitting still in a seat, listening to a teacher lecture at the front of the room. While the "farmer" type, who is not bothered by repetitive work, lack of novelty or physical movement, often manages just fine and comes out of the system with a decent education, there are many who fall off the assembly line because they learn differently. They are often smart, even gifted, but they must be taught in a different way.
People with ADHD have difficulty processing incoming information. There is often a strong deficit in the area of auditory processing. These folks often need to learn compensatory techniques to get the information into the brain, store it where it will be accessible, and then be able to retrieve the information and make it useable. This problem leads to serious deficits not only in the classroom, but often in the larger world. These techniques are known, but not generally available to our children who have such deficits. Simple strategies such as visual clues, i.e. the picture above can be a very effective compensatory technique to help get information into the brain where it will be effectively stored for later retrieval.
In spite of the difficulties, many people with ADHD go on to lead productive, full lives. Many hunters struggled to obtain even a rudimentary education in the traditional setting. Yet who can question the value of their individual contributions to the betterment of mankind? Such people as Thomas Edison, Benjamin Franklin, Ernest Hemingway, Albert Einstein were all failures at traditional schooling."
"This theory of hunters and farmers is no means meant to put down or belittle the farmer temperament. If a hunter is smart, he or she will team up with a farmer. Farmers are superior at organizing, staying on track, performing all the tasks the hunter is weak at performing. They have important strengths necessary for many fields of endeavor. I think of certain wildly successful trial lawyers who have teams of farmers doing the meticulous research and footwork so necessary in such a field. At the same time, farmers need to recognize the tremendous strengths of the hunter, and value them from early childhood for their potential. They must teach them they way they learn, with methods which have been proven successful for children with ADHD. These strategies have proven successful for all children, not just those with disabilities."


There is room for all of us on this planet, and reasons why we are here. Just because we do not fit a mold, or cannot explain our purpose, or make others very uncomfortable does not mean we are "disordered". We become disordered by an environment, in a context that expects us to be something that we are not.
Your fear and worry for your son is entirely valid! I happen to know a very intelligent man Aspie...he has an extremely high IQ, takes 2 courseloads at once at college, can play several instruments (like Raymond Babbit said, he "sees" it) and is a vocal, active member of his church. He also has a son with ADHD and ODD. The child had a meltdown, and my friend was compelled to restrain him (those who have not experienced a true meltdown will not, of course, know why) and because this man is hyposensitive to pressure, the child was bruised. The child was not upset, but some "concerned citizen" saw and reported the bruises and my friend had to leave his home and now faces a lengthy court battle over this issue.

Please PM me any time, or your son may do the same. Best wishes from my neurodiverse family (none of us here are NT!) to yours.


A_A

References:

Thom Hartmann's Hunter/Farmer thoery http://www.geocities.com/Athens/orac...0/hunters.html

Autistic quote
http://www.gettingthetruthout.org/
PLEASE READ THIS ENTIRE SITE IF YOU GO THERE! THE SITE BEGINS WITH PROPAGANDA AND REFUTES IT AT THE END!!!