[beth]

Is anyone having problems with managing an aging and very demanding parent? My mother is so frustrating to deal with, that members of our local church caring group have phoned to tell me that they cannot deal with her anymore. She is sick and frail, but it doesn't stop her from being extremely difficult. My only other sibling has washed her hands of her, but it all falls onto me and I feel that as difficult as she is, I can't just walk away. Yet it is making me very ill. Any suggestions?

[annharth]

It's been a long time since you posted this, beth. Have you had any relief? The best suggestion I can come up with is some sort of respite care. I used to work as a'companion'. You may have to change the name or call the person a cleaner or domestic or something, to kee p the peace, but maybe a weekly/bi-weekly visitor can take some of the pressure off of you. I was dubbed 'cleaner' by the family of my elderly friend and I don't think I ever cleaned a thing. I took her shopping, on picnics and listened to her complain. It basically gave her something to think about besides annoying her family. It wasn't difficult for me becasuie I had no history with the woman and could simply keep her company without the emotional investment.

Just a thought. I wish you luck. It's a tough situation.