[bmorgan24]

Wow, I am surprised to see that there are no threads here. It makes me wonder how many others are out there living with depression and not realizing what it is they are going through.

I am now realizing this myself, that for most of my life I have had suffered from depression. I always thought that I was just extremely sensitive and had a bad attitude. Which I do, but I believe now that the depression is what made those things show their ugly heads. I think that in the back of my mind I knew that I had depression, but I always though it was because of certain situations in my life. But as with every life situation they come and go, and no matter how big or small they were to me they are overwhelming. I have begun to think that all things in my life will always be awful, though I know I should be grateful for the things that I have been blessed with. I always focus on the horrible things in my life and those things seem to control me. A lot of times I don't even know why I feel so down. I seem to aim my aggravation on my husband and in my head I blame him for all our financial problems. Before we were married I blamed my family for my unhappiness, and I really believe that I will continue to blame whomever is in my life.

Now that I've admitted to myself that I have a problem and is an illness, I afraid of going to the doctor. My concern is the medications that they prescribe, I hear a lot about these medications making you have suicidal thoughts. I don't want to take that kind of risk. And the first thing doctors want to do is write up a prescription. But I do know that I do want help, I was just wondering if there are alternatives to these medications?

[QueenAngie]

There are several friends online here that have issues with depression. Some are mild. Some are more complicated.

It is not always easy to share everything online.

The important thing is that when you are ill, you need to go to the doctor for help. Whether it is your appendix or your depression.

Some common sense things that I believe are very helpful
in addition to a medication prescribed by your doctor:
1) Daily journal for you to write in
2) Exercise every day
3) Drink plenty of water
4) Eat nutritious meals
5) Take your pills
6) Prayer and meditation are good daily
7) Get a good night's sleep.

Those are all things that will help your depression.
Just like the commercial on TV says...
"Depression does not just hurt one person, it hurts
everyone in your life. It ripples."

Take this one step toward the doctor.

[PennySteed]

BMorgan,
You are not alone. I do not know why more people do not post in this forum. It could be because it is a private and sometimes painful, personal battle. I read your post and it felt like I was looking into a part of my past. I have been suffering from depression for most of my life and only started to get help for it four years ago when it started to affect my marriage. I know your fear about the medication and my first medication did not help at all, in fact I still had suicidal tendencies while on it. The thing is to talk with your doctor, get into therapy and really talk to your therapist. My therapist was a life savor, literally. So, I have been on medication for four years, went to therapy for two years, and I know if I need a little "tune-up" all I need to do is call my therapist back up for an appointment. The hardest step is the first step and then it is downhill from there.
If you need to talk, please feel free to pmail me.

[LovingJesusinAZ]

I'll echo the sentiments that you are not alone.

Like you, with what I know now I have come to realize that I've struggled with depression most of my life, too. It wasn't until I was in my late 20's and a newlywed that things came to a head and I got help.

I have been on medication, but only for a short time. I know some people who have to be on medications for most of their lives due to a seratonin imbalance. I have been pregnant or nursing for the majority of the past 3 years so I've been off. I can't say I won't go back on, but I hope I don't have to.

Things other than medication that have helped:

Prayer
Counseling
An understanding husband (who attended counseling with me, at points)
A husband who loves me enough to NOT understand sometimes (doesn't let me "wallow")

Also . . .are you on birth control pills? Those can have an affect on some women, making them more prone to depression, or if they have it, making the symptoms worse. If you are on birth control, talk to your Dr. about other options. I did a lot of research on this and found that vitamin B6 is especially helpful in counteracting the side effects of BCP.

As far as medication having the side effect of suicidal thoughts--most of what I've seen shows these as being more prevelent in children and teens, not necessarily adults. Also, in my case, I was having suicidal thoughts BEFORE medication. I don't remember having any while on the medication.

I never made any attempts at suicide, but would just think how much better/easier everyone's life would be if I were to just disappear. My husband took the brunt of my issues (as I'm sure you understand) and I remember thinking that he was too honorable to divorce me, so if I were out of the picture his life would be much easier/better and he wouldn't have to make the decision to leave me. There were two very specific times I had those thoughts, and had the opportunity to act on them at the exact moment I was struggling with these thoughts. Again, these were BEFORE medication.

My husband had been after me for awhile to see a counselor, and had even set up an appointment for us to go together, but it wasn't until I admitted to him about the first serious suicide thoughts that I was willing to seek help. Even then, it took him asking "Are you ready to see a counselor NOW?"

[mcmama]

Having known folks who struggle with this, and with bi polar disorder, the adjustment to the meds is nothing compared to life without them.

There are several things that a psychiatrist does before giving you pills.

A responsible psychiatrist will take blood tests, and work with you to monitor moods, and adjust levels of the medication. Be sure to tell the psychiatrist if you have a history with yourself or family members of bi polar disorder, mania, obsessive compulsive disorder, panic attacks, or other psychiatric problems.

A good psychiatrist has a way of always having an answering service contact them with questions, or having another doctor cover in case you DO have suicidal thoughts as a result of medications. You call them and they tell you what to take or not to take. It's a chemical balance. If you are really feeling like you might hurt yourself, get to the ER and check yourself into the hospital.

You will find that life is much better when you are stable, and there's a lot to like about you that the moods and depression cloud covered up.

[Tracey with 6]

you are soo not alone, although I suffer from post natal depression ,I have always had a certain level of it in my life, if you don't want to go the medication route try councelling , I found it very productive, but please see somebody , for your own sake.

[MommyDee]

Personally, I go through phases where I don't want to talk to anyone about my problems, which unfortunately includes my online family. I've also had a lot of RL issues to deal with lately, and haven't been online much to be able to post here.

I've been struggling with depression throughout all of my adult life; hindsight being 20-20, I had anxiety issues in childhood as well. I did not seek medical help until over five years ago. I didn't know how bad it was until I realized I really wished I just didn't have to exist anymore -- it wasn't something I could or would ever act on, but knowing that I was in that frame of mind was enough to push me to seek help. I have been on antidepressants ever since, and am unable to function without them -- and believe me, I've tried!

Different treatments work for different people... some, like me, need medication; some do extremely well with counselling alone; some find relief with homeopathic or herbal remedies; and some need a combination of treatments to work effectively. The first step is to see your doctor; make it very clear that you do not want to start medication as your first course of action, and ask him or her to discuss the alternatives with you.

[Possibility_girl]

i have a family history of deppression,my gradmother was sereiouse. she was always in and out of hospitals, my mother had it too and under control, she has been seeing a doctor for years now. my brother had been dealing with it too but not as bad. Over the past few years i too have reaized that in my past, times when i felt down and wasnt as in life as i could have been, i was depressed, i now know when i am depressed, it still rears its ugly head and is very difficult at times. Actually today, even as i am writing this i am feeling depressed. I bounce back and forth about going to a doctor, i was seeing a councelor during the time after i found out about my hustbands affair. Some days i think about callingher and talking more about my depression. but then im fine for a few days. I can talk to my mother about it, she can understand what i am saying.