[stephanienminnesota]

So, it is the weekend and weekends are when I let ex (dh) have lots of time with the 3 boys. Well, his parents invited the boys and I over for dinner and such today so I accepted the offer. After dinner, the boys were playing and my 8 year old who is like the "golden child" asked for something and 4 yr old asked as well...Well the boys great uncle ( whom they're very close too) gives the 8 yr old what he wants and then he and the childrens great grandmother start teasing the 4 yr old and taunting him. I was so angry that I took the children and left immediately. I know this sort of thing had happened before but I was appolled and so very upset that they would do that to my baby boy. I am very close to not letting the boys go near those 2 for a little while. I mean Am I over-reacting or would anyone else be upset that this happened to their child?

[mcmama]

What do you mean you "let" your ex have time with the boys? Aren't you compelled to do so with a court agreement? And not every weekend?

If you have the power to "let" (boy, do I envy you if you do) him see them, then "don't let" him take them to the grandparents where they will be subjected to emotional abuse until you have sorted out with all of them why this is not acceptable.

But talk to all of them first. Since you were invited as well, that means they want to continue a relationship with you, so talk to them. If I had been in your shoes, I would have just said "that's enough, we're going home now."

[stephanienminnesota]

We came up with this agreement before the divorce and apparently the judge liked it cause they told us to keep to that agreement. He is supposed to get them every other weekend and 2 nights a week. It seems to work for all of us. If there is time in between when he is supposed to have them and he wants to see them I am usually open to the idea. However, the incident yesterday is making me think twice about sending the boys over to grandma's house since great grandma is living there. I told her and the uncle to stop yesterday but they thought it was funny and continued to do so until I took the boys and said we were going home. They immediately got angry with me and told me "it helps him grow THICKER SKIN" for if anyone else bullies him. I was livid and proceeded to take the kids and leave. Chris (ex dh) follows me and continually tries to tell me that everyone is very sorry and this and that. I was like Why couldn't you say something to them when Jake was crying, telling them to stop, and asking why they were being so mean to him. Maybe I did over-react but for right now I said I don't want the boys there at that house.

[mcmama]

You did the right thing. They have to learn that their behavior is not normal.

All that bullying from family will do is cause a child to become a bully, not grow a thicker skin. Not get used to it. Rather, it demeans him.

Since you are the only one who stands up for what is right, they want to knock you down. Keep standing. Make them back off.

You're the mom.

[JMSPGH]

NO WAY would I let ANYone treat my child or any other child like that. I could see if the brothers teased each other, but an adult doing that to a child??? I'm glad you stuck up for your child. Hopefully his father can see that what happened was inappropriate as well.

[Momof2kids]

Absolutely you did the right thing, I have had the same problem and I, too, have left the situation, explained to my kids that that is not appropriate behavior and then went back to the adults and explained that if it ever and I mean ever happens again they would not see my kids .

[stephanienminnesota]

So, Chris is now saying I should let the kids go to Grandma's house but I am still uncomforatable with that situation. Instead, his mom called me today to see if she could take the boys tonight. Jordan has baseball practice at a park nearby so she was gonna take him to practice and take the other 2 to the playground. She was also taking along a picnic dinner for them to enjoy and taking them for ice cream after. I have to ask again if I am still being too sensitive to the subject or Am I doing the right thing? Jacob still asks why they were mean to him and will not speak to either one on the phone. I don't mind the boys seeing their family but when they act that way I don't know what else to do.

[Magic_Mikki]

I think you did the absolute right thing!! There is no way I would have EVER let anyone treat my child that way. And come one.. are those two adults, or were they children?? Did they feel better about themselves for bullying a four year old? I can't believe they would do something so mean to a little child who is a family member!

[MissyChrissy]

I agree you did the right thing. I would have told them off and left.

[QueenAngie]

If that is how you treat someone you love......how are you supposed to treat somebody that is a complete stranger?

Makes no sense to me why those two adults would act that way.
It was inappropriate and very unkind.

You are the Mom and the parent. You did the right thing by leaving.