[kmomteach]

Okay so I guess I have written a couple of articles that have turned out to be much more controversial than I had expected. I am a teacher and I am NOT against homeschooling. However I am surprised to find that it seems none of you know people who abuse the privilege to homeschool by not carrying through with it properly or with good intentions. So my question out there for you homeschooling parents is:
Are there no homeschooling parents that drive you crazy because you feel that they give homeschooling a bad rep?
I know there are teachers out there that I get upset with because they do not do the education system justice. Is the same not for homeschooling?

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[twinzplus3]

Of course there are. There are also parents who drive me crazy because they slap their children accross the face. There are parents who drive me crazy by feeding their children soda and candy and then wondering why they're so hyper. And yes, there are parents who give homeschooling a bad reputation. Plain and simple, there are bad parents and homeschooling is not immune to them.

I want to correct something you've said, and then ask a question in turn. Homeschooling is not a privelege. Homeschooling, or any education for that matter is a right that I have as a parent. In order for homeschooling to be a privelege, my children must belong to the state. Since they don't, it is my right (and responsibility) to see that they're suitably educated by whatever means I deem necessary.

Now for my question in turn. . .how many homeschooling parents do you know? A dozen? A few dozen? Lyn--I know HUNDREDS as I've been a support group leader and public speaker for a number of years now. Out of the hundreds of families that I know. . .I can think of two families where I think homeschooling was not in their best interests. All the same, it's still their right.

I have to point out that you are in a place to see failed homeschooling. You are one of the other options parents have to educate their children. But if a parent fails, you often get those kids don't you? I can't imagine that you get kids very often who are/were successfully homeschooling. Becuase they are successfully homeschooling. . .
I also have to take issue with "abusing the system". . .but for now I'll rest.

[SeekingmyLord]

I have had this conversation with many school teachers and I agree that really the only homeschoolers they see is the ones that default to the public/government school system. Sorry, but the reality is that the public/government school is a "default educational system." If the parents, for whatever reason, do not exercise their rights to educate their children by any other means, then they must enroll them in the public/government school system, because of compulsory attendance laws--which, by the way, does not guaranty an education; it merely guaranties that the child will be physically on school property.

Do I know of a homeschooling family or two that I had concerns about? Sure, but I also will support their right to educate their own children even if it is the worse of educations or none at all by my standards and expectations. Why? First, because I do not want anyone, especially any government, setting standards of how I should educate my daughter. I currently am using a wonderful math program that does not fit with my state's math standards for the 1st grade level, but by 3rd grade level it will exceed my state's standards. I want that freedom to choose my curriculum, design my own curriculum, or even use no curriculum at all--and I will protect it! On the flip side, what if I feel to "properly" educate a child he must be taught Latin beginning in 1st grade, would there be any public school children getting a proper education by my standards?

Second, is it "child abuse" not to educate a child? If so, then I know a greater number of children who have been abused or at least ignored while in public schools, but the teacher is not seen as "abusing the system," just poorly doing the job. I have been researching homeschooling for over twenty years before I even had my own child and began to do it myself. I have met many families and there is only one that sticks out as being a real concern, but that situation resolved itself within the family, as it should have.

Third, looking at even the most brilliant piece of art in the works does not really give an realistic impression of what it will look like when finished, so why criticize the artist while he is still working on the piece? So it goes with homeschooling, the parents are still in the process of shaping not only their children's minds, but they are also working on their own as well.

Fourth, who determines that the children are not educated properly? Educational standards rarely match up when a public school child moves from one state to another, or one county to another, or even up to the next grade in the same school. Isn't that why the first 2 to 3 months of school is review of what the child did learn or should have learned the year before? Whenever I see a curriculum written for schools, I can just about cut out the first 1/4 to 1/3 of the books, before we are learning something new, at least in the lower grades.

As a classroom teacher, you are given a number children randomly chosen (supposedly) to educate. You are not in charge of the education, nor should you have any concerns about the education, of children outside of your scope. The courts have given the public school rights of the children over the parents rights while the children are on public school property, but we do not pay our taxes for public school buildings and the salaries of public teachers, so that teachers' duties should be expanded beyond the public school property.

I appreciate teachers who are concerned about children, I really do. I know some very fine teachers. However, I also think that teachers are overworked as it is, just doing what they must do to educate the children in their care. I don't really want them to be the education police as well.

[deedee1231]

As previous posters have stated, I really do not agree with the term "abusing the system" when it comes to inadequate homeschooling. I haven't personally known any homeschoolers who embarked upon homeschooling with anything less than the best of intentions, although I have known a family who decided homeschooling wasn't working out for them and put the children back in public schools after 2 years of homeschooling them. Most homeschoolers I know care as much about their children's educations as any parent who chooses public or private schools, and dedicate almost all of their time to their homeschools and have to give up a lot to do that.

And of course I have met a few families that made me stop and wonder for a minute whether homeschooling was really the best option for those children. But as the mother of a high functioning autistic son, a teenager who has proclaimed herself 'an artist' and refuses (without a fight, that is) to wear anything other than paint splattered overalls or holey jeans with writing all over them , and two high-spirited six year olds, I really hesitate to make harsh judgements about other people's parenting skills . Lets just say we tend to draw more than our fair share of attention ourselves and I know what it feels lilke to have someone give you the stink eye and know they have passed judgement on you...yet they know absolutely nothing about you or your situation. I try not to do that to other people.

Furthermore, homeschooling is controversial enough as it is. There are always going to be people that will not believe that homeschooling can result in a real education. There will always be stories in the news about child abusers who happened to be homeschoolers and state and federal governments will continue to try to tighten up the regulations and requirements in the name of protecting my children. So of course I don't want to publicize the few questionable homeschooling situations I am aware of and instead choose to tout the many, many successful homeschooling families I have come into contact with. I would also add that even if someone else's homeschool seems inadequate to me at first glance, that doesn't necessarily mean that it is, in fact, inadequate. A casual observer doesn't usually have enough information to make that kind of a judgement call.

[twinzplus3]

Okay. . .I take offense at this term on several levels. First of all, it implies that the "system" has granted me some privelege that in fact is my right to begin with. I already talked about this earlier.

Secondly, in many cases, it's the "system" that abuses homeschoolers. There have been many false DCF reports made because someone in the "system" doesn't think that homeschooling is really occurring. I personally have experienced the "system" losing my papers, calling DCF. I cover my back side very well--but that doesn't mean that I still haven't had a few incidents--and at the fault of someone else. It's not fun. Granted I do live in a very highly regulated state. . .which brings me to another thing. . .

This system, the bastian of good education, the same system that can't keep track of my paperwork but expects me to believe that they can educate my child better than I can. . .differs. . .greatly from state to state and in some cases from district to district. My experience is just mine. . . In fact I'm moving to a state where the homeschooling law is optional. . .and I'm doing back flips. I am exercising my option not to file.

So Lyn--there's your summer project--go meet some more homeschoolers!

[kmomteach]

I agree I do need to meet more. My cousin actually homeschools her children and she does a good job at it. However she is very obessive about things so this gives me another negative thought. By obessive I mean that they only buy certian food products from certain stores and everything has to be organic and I doubt that their children have ever had a milkshake and they didn't have cake at their daughter's first birthday party. My children are not loaded with junk but I do live some for taking the easy way - hot dogs, order pizza, canned veggies, etc.
The term "abuse the system" is likely bad. However I am not certain how else to say it and in reality everything we do now seems to be a "system". Like or not someone is controlling in some way that you educate your child. And if it is not done in good faith then it is abuse- so that is the term I chose. I agree that teachers and doctors and all others can abuse the system of how they should be carrying out a particular activity. In fact some preachers do it too.
To answer Valorie the number homeschooling families or that have homeschooled that I know is likley about a couple dozen. It is ture that I only see the negative side. It is about like working at an alternative school and saying that all kids are trouble just because those are the only ones that you see. Point taken. While I am not a fan of controversy in any terms- I do enjoy this conversation and "debate" because it is eye opening to how others see and experience things.

Yes teachers are overworked and there faults in the education system. Like I said I would not be opposed to homeschooling myself. However I do feel that there are good/wonderful teachers out there and looking at the whole picture- my district educates children well. We do not have many homeschooling families compared to other places. Not because our schools are that much better but I think because we live in a rural area where the idea of homeschooling is still new and uncertain. Children have always "gone" to school and to change that would be breaking tradition. As I said before our schools are also safe and parents feel comfortable there.
Thanks to you homeschooling parents who repsonded and I plan to research more!!!

[deedee1231]

My sister-in-law is a public school teacher, she teaches second grade at a school in the Kansas City Missouri School District. That is the very same district that I have had so many problems with, yet I know she is a good teacher who works hard and cares about her students. I am actually not at all opposed to public schools or private schools, and I certainly respect the work that school teachers do. I have simply chosen a different path for the sake of educating my own children.

[ahermitt]

Happy Birthday to me! I just got back from celebrating my entry into the 40+ club and was greeted by this lively conversation and a few thought provoking blogs. Thanks Lyn... It's like I got another cake, with all 40 candles!

This type of dialogue is very important as I feel it is necessary for teacher to see that homeschoolers aren't necessarily anti-teachers and it is my hope that less teachers will be anti-homeschooling... after all, we are trying to accomplish the same goal.

My mother was a special ed teacher of abused and emotionally disturbed children. From her perspective, she could have been suspicious of all parents as she saw so many kids damaged by their parents. My sister in law is an AMAZING teacher with a HUGE heart and I find myself not wanting to talk about homeschooling around her because her heart belongs to public education. I have many other friends who are teachers, principals, and even people who homeschooling for a short period who have put their kids back into public school. I think my viewpoint is balanced... if it is not, please tell me so.

And so to answer your question. YES. I know homeschoolers who from my viewpoint are doing a poor job of educating thier kids. Now, like Valorie said, this is probably two families out of one hundred. I grieve for these families, but even these kids are turning out to be productive adults.... I haven't quite figured it out yet.

Your implied question, is why don't you point out or report homeschooling families who are doing a bad job? My answer is that homeschooling even in these cases, is not the problem. The problem is bad parenting. Unfortunately, homeschooling takes a fall with it. The good news is that many of these kids end up in school with teachers (like you), who can hopefully minimize any past damage and get the kids on their way.

Also, just as you probably don't go around the school pointing out which teachers suck and why, it is also not the homeschoolers job to pass judement on others.

(((((To quote deedee" Furthermore, homeschooling is controversial enough as it is. There are always going to be people that will not believe that homeschooling can result in a real education. There will always be stories in the news about child abusers who happened to be homeschoolers and state and federal governments will continue to try to tighten up the regulations and requirements in the name of protecting my children. So of course I don't want to publicize the few questionable homeschooling situations I am aware of and instead choose to tout the many, many successful homeschooling families I have come into contact with. I would also add that even if someone else's homeschool seems inadequate to me at first glance, that doesn't necessarily mean that it is, in fact, inadequate. A casual observer doesn't usually have enough information to make that kind of a judgement call."))))

So that's my forty cents worth! Thanks for the dialoge and blog fodder!

[mrmnmom82]

I guess I just don't understand these kinds of discussions. We don't sit around, as a society, and look into every public schooled child's life and pick it apart the way it is done with homeschooling parents. If a kid shows up, completes work, that's it, they must have a wonderful family life. If a homeschooled child is exeeding, participating in 4H and other programs, society still wants to know all the details, what do you feed your kids, how many hrs. do they study, what exactly do they study, in what way, how do you discipline, what time do they wake up, when do they go to bed....???

Just because the state isn't involved in every detail of a child's life, doesn't mean things aren't being done in the right way, and why the double standard for public schooled children?

[DK615617]

Originally Posted by kmomteach

I agree I do need to meet more. My cousin actually homeschools her children and she does a good job at it. However she is very obessive about things so this gives me another negative thought. By obessive I mean that they only buy certian food products from certain stores and everything has to be organic and I doubt that their children have ever had a milkshake and they didn't have cake at their daughter's first birthday party. My children are not loaded with junk but I do live some for taking the easy way - hot dogs, order pizza, canned veggies, etc.

I couldn't help but comment on this. What is wrong with someone wanting to feed their children healthy foods while they are very young. Why do people get so judgemental when someone feeds there child only organic foods, and no additives. I get so frustrated with it. If I feed my dd McDonalds, milkshakes, candy and other junk no one would say a thing, but as soon as I say no to that stuff people act like I am nuts and inform me that she will rebel someday. (I never said she couldn't ever have it, I just don't see a need for a 1 year old to be on a sugar high and exposed to all the extra chemicals and garbage that is in our food.)
I almost wonder if people feel guilty that they didn't do healthier food with their kids and that is why they are so quick to judge those of us that do.
(Please don't think I am angry, it is hard to express emotion on the computer, I just get really frustrated about this)
Why is it such a bad thing to promote healthy eating?

As far as homeschooling goes, there are always going to be a few parents who fail their kids, but I am guessing that the number is far less than the number of kids that the public/government schools fail. It is sad, the level of education that kids are recieving in this country. I am glad that so many more people are stepping up and pulling their kids out of these schools and giving them a chance at a well rounded education. (No offense to any teachers still in the public schools, I understand that most of the teachers are excellent teachers and just are stuck in the "system" being told to teach for the standardized tests)