[BUSY MOM OF 3 IN MN]

Dear Beth,
I am a mom of an 11 year old son with Aspbergers and I know how you feel.
Sometimes I wonder if my son and husband don't suffer from the same thing-- it seems they are always fighting each other and my husband hasn't
accepted our sons disability which makes for a stressful environment for everyone concerned.
We seem to be in conflict as parents in how to handle the behaviours that go along with Aspbergers and it has created a stress on our marriage.
How do you handle the stress and how do you keep the peace with your husband when you seem to be in dissagreement all the time?
Looking for answers in Minnesota,
Corrine

[sidneydoj]

It can be very stressfull for parents particulary if both parents dont agree with their childs needs. Perhaps if your husband could talk to the Dr or whoever diagnosed your child it might help him to accept and understand. It helped me a great deal when my son was diagnosed with Aspbergers. Hope this helps.

[mcmama]

This sounds like a good idea, Beth. Sometimes it is hard for dads to accept the problem from teachers or from you, but when it comes from the doctor, there is no denying it.
A doctor can give clinical reasons for the diagnosis - and also help with learning how to handle the stress of parenting. I have a colleague whose wife is a pediatric neurologist. Much of her work is supporting parents.

[ctmom05]

Corrine ~
I have a son who was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome when he was 8 years old. He is now almost 18.
I empathize with your frustration. Parenting a child with special mental health/behavioral needs can be very stressful for a variety of reasons, it has been for my family.
The first piece of advice that I generally give [ when asked for ] is to hook up with a support group. Parent to parent support can be very powerful.

[BUSY MOM OF 3 IN MN]

ctmom05,
Thank you for your reply-- I appreciate your advice!
It has been hard to get involved in a parent support group because I have a husband that works different hours during the week and some are in the late evening. I have yet to find a support group that is in close proximity to where I live.
I rely alot on the prayers and advice of people in my church and I have a mom that is extremely helpful during the long weekends when transition is tougher for my son. We try to do things together as a family and my mom tries to keep the same routine as we do here at home, especially when dealing with the meltdowns.
I am hoping that I will be able to connect with a support group before the new year begins.
How did you find your support group and what resources did you use in finding it?
This web sight of Families.Com has been very helpful too.
I look foward to hearing from you soon!
BUSY MOM OF 3 IN MN

[BUSY MOM OF 3 IN MN]

ctmom05,
Thank you for your reply-- I appreciate your advice!
It has been hard to get involved in a parent support group because I have a husband that works different hours during the week and some are in the late evening. I have yet to find a support group that is in close proximity to where I live.
I rely alot on the prayers and advice of people in my church and I have a mom that is extremely helpful during the long weekends when transition is tougher for my son. We try to do things together as a family and my mom tries to keep the same routine as we do here at home, especially when dealing with the meltdowns.
I am hoping that I will be able to connect with a support group before the new year begins.
How did you find your support group and what resources did you use in finding it?
This web sight of Families.Com has been very helpful too.
I look foward to hearing from you soon!
BUSY MOM OF 3 IN MN

[cmhancock78]

Hi everyone. I am new to all of this cause I was just told by my sons teachers that they think that he has aspergers. I did some research on the in internet and from everything that I have read so far it sounds like he has it. It also sounds like my husband has it. Does anyone know if it is genetic?

[ctmom05]

My understanding is that Asperger Syndrome does have genetic components, but I think there are some folks who still argue against that point, to say that it also contains learned traits.
Some of the best information that I got about AS came from a consult with a neuro-psychologist.

[beth]

Originally Posted by cmhancock78

Hi everyone. I am new to all of this cause I was just told by my sons teachers that they think that he has aspergers. I did some research on the in internet and from everything that I have read so far it sounds like he has it. It also sounds like my husband has it. Does anyone know if it is genetic?

Yes, the latest research all points to Aspergers having a genetic component and it is often possible to trace varying degrees of the disorder throughout family trees. You might enjoy reading about Aspergers and its close cousin, autism, by clicking on the Mental Health link below.