[ayame]

I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years. We are engaged and will be married in 5 months. However, recently I have been feeling a very strong attraction to a friend and coworker. I have experienced a similar attraction in the past, but was able to overcome it by avoiding the person. But, as I work with this man and see him almost every day, I am unable to avoid him. I have mistakenly allowed our friendship to grow into a flirtatious, early-relationship stage. It has gotten to the point where I cannot stop thinking about this other man or the way he makes me feel when we are together. However, I love my fiance and he is a good man. He treats me like a queen and doesn't deserve to be put through what I'm feeling. Our relationship isn't perfect, but I do love him. Are the feelings I'm having for my friend something to pay attention to, or am I just having a very severe case of cold feet?? Any input would be greatly appreciated!!

[JeanLynn81]

I think its better for you to back away from the work affair. You need to at least break things off with your fiance before you let it continue. Its not fair to anybody, and the guilt will eat you alive.

Have you considered telling your fiance (maybe not every detail) that you have found yourself being attracted to other people and maybe ask him if he's been feeling the same way? Open up a conversation that way and maybe talk about what it means. Really, cold feet is natural, but its wrong to take it any further until you are willing to be honest.

[mommygee]

I think the best thing to do is tell your fiance then if you decide to be with your fiance then the next thing to do is resign from your work so you won't be able to see him any more and there wont be temptations. Delete his contact numbers from your mobile. If you have chosen your co worker, you did not sin. The most important is to tell your fiance about this. I know you love your fiance. Respect him and tell him what is happening to you. If he truly loves you he will understand and he will help you to make the right choice.


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[AussieD]

For everyone's sake, you certainly need to delay the marrige and sort out your feelings and before this goes any further.

[scharlie]

your attraction to your coworker is fresh and untested. it seems more like an infatuation. while the previous partner is perfectly loyal sincere and affectionate to you.
marriage is also proposed to happen in the next few months. better concentrate for your future with your old partnership.

[gdizzle5]

Originally Posted by ayame

I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years. We are engaged and will be married in 5 months. However, recently I have been feeling a very strong attraction to a friend and coworker. I have experienced a similar attraction in the past, but was able to overcome it by avoiding the person. But, as I work with this man and see him almost every day, I am unable to avoid him. I have mistakenly allowed our friendship to grow into a flirtatious, early-relationship stage. It has gotten to the point where I cannot stop thinking about this other man or the way he makes me feel when we are together. However, I love my fiance and he is a good man. He treats me like a queen and doesn't deserve to be put through what I'm feeling. Our relationship isn't perfect, but I do love him. Are the feelings I'm having for my friend something to pay attention to, or am I just having a very severe case of cold feet?? Any input would be greatly appreciated!!

Do both guys a favor and yourself a big favor and cut the engagement off today. Give the ring back and tell him you aren't ready, lie outright, or kill him by being honest. All of these are way better than going thru with a marriage you aren't behind, risking kids that will have to suffer because of your inability to stand up now. Why string the guy along with this skeleton in your closet, if you are truly worried now, believe me it will only get 10x worse once its forbidden.

Don't do it.

[jaddderz]

This is really simple. Tell the man you work with that you will only deal with him on professional level, that is the only way you will be able to make it work with your fiancee, just because this man at work makes you "feel something doesnt allow him a chance to come between you and your fiance. You and your fiance have 3 years behind you, wasnt it good in the beginning too? Like a previous poster said, this could all be infatuation. Ask yourself, "is this worth your relationship with your fiance"? It was yourself that realized from the beginning that you were starting to develop something for this person, it is up to you to choose where it goes.

[Karoline2010]

How is everything now? How do you feel?

[JohnConnor12]

First of all you shld sort out the things in your mind...who wld be better for you...your fiancee or your colleague..if you find your coworker.....talk to him abt this...if he 's ready...thn you hv made your decision..amicably break up wd your fiancee...making him understand hw u hv your feelings for your coworker..and tht if it proceeds it will screw both of your lives....