[Firespice]

OK we are going to have Tori's name blessing this weekend. My mom - primary president 3 times ... my dad non member. Brother raised in the church now atheist, moms sister raised n the church now catholic. Hubby is a convert. OK there are the people involved.

My aunt (whom i have had a lot of problems with ... she is mad I got married in the temple without waiting for my family to be able to attend ... NON of them are trying to attend the temple including my mother) said she wanted to buy a celebratory dinner and to invite our friends and family.

and its out of hand.

THEY are planning and inviting people and TOLD us not to invite anyone with children "there will be NO children" is how the email came to me. well we are in our 30's and members of the LDS church ... our friends HAVE children and more children then most ....... AND this is a BABY name blessing event .... its centered around children!!!!!

AND it gets worse .... THEY decided there will be beer and alcohol served. Since i am having problems with my aunt I asked my mom to talk to her and get that changed. My MOTHER told me i was being a bad example .. that I should LET them drink (at a celebration for my CHILD) and set an example by just not drinking. Using the example that "what would i be teaching" my 10 year old step daughter if I refused to go to a party with alcohol ..... and i would be teaching her wrong??!?!?! WHAT??? that is EXACTLY what i want her (10 year old step daughter) to learn. Party with alcohol .... LEAVE!!!!!

lets also mention that my husband was an alcoholic before joining the church. Who wold through a party for an alcoholic's children with alcohol????

Then ... Tori is 2 months old. some babies are sensitive to smells, well so is Tori. I noticed that when people who are heavily perfumed, hold her, it makes her fussy. Well my aunt puts on half a bottle every morning. So i politely suggested she forgo the perfume this weekend so she can hold Tori more. she sent Tori a card LACED with perfume (stank to high heaven) and said that she "will be putting a dab of her (stinky) perfume behind her (my baby's) ears" so that she can get used to it. who is she to decide she will put perfume on someone else's baby??!!??!!

I am being told by my family that our not wanting alcohol at this party is "forcing" our religion on them. but i think they are not respecting our values or us. I am especially hurt by my mother - who should know better.

I am SOOOO hurt by this. My husband and I have decided to get threw this weekend, and not do this again. but we are dreading our own daughters name blessing - it should be a fun weekend.

OOO my mom also invited people to assist with the blessing .... HOW rude. (they are people we like - but still that is an honer for my husband)

OK enough venting .... I just cant talk to my family ... and am too embarrassed to tell my friends in our ward about it ... explain they cant come cause my family is insane ....

suzie (wishing we lived so far away that family couldn't make it)

[tbear]

That's awful! Don't you get any say in what's happening? It is your child, and you should be in charge, not your parents and aunt. I can't really relate since my family is all members, but I can still see how horrible this situation would be were I placed in it.

[LeanyBean]

Is there any way you could have this event rescheduled? perhaps privatized by your clergy?
I'm sorry that special day set aside for your baby is being overhauled by your crazy family. I wish I could help out. I'm afraid they best I can do right now is send you this:
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[babydawn]

Suzie! I am so sorry! There isn't a whole lot of advice I can give you. I completely agree with how you feel. How frustrating. Vent all you like.

[Firespice]

thanks for the support ...i just needed to say all that. My husband and i will just smile and go through it this weekend, and next baby politely decline any parties people wish to through, that way we will have control over it.

Hopefully my crazy Aunt will come to her senses, but she will not be putting perfume behind any of my children's ears (until they are older at least)

thanks for the hugs I needed it!!!

Off to snuggle my precious baby girl....

Suzie

[QueenAngie]

Did you wake up in the middle of a dream and realize it was a nightmare?

Can't believe something as special as your dear baby getting blessed,
and your aunt & mom are making it become a very non-christian party afterwards.
Particularly since your DH has a issues with alcohol in the past.

What are these people thinking?

I feel very badly that such a special occasion in your daughter's life.....
is being turned into a focus away from the baby.

What if you got to the party early and dumped all the alcohol down the sink....
replacing it with water, lemonade, or koolaid?
Well, I suppose that wouldn't go over so well either.

What are you going to wear? What will your daughter wear?

I have my little Baptismal gown with this deliciate pintucking all acrossed the top
and both of my boys' little white outfits w/ the vests in my cedar chest.

Good luck!

[JeanLynn81]

Ah, the drama queen aunt. Seems like every family has to have one!

I really hope that despite everything, you and Tori have a nice day. I know you'll find some way to make it a positive experience. Mother's have a way of putting aside everything to make their babies happy!

Good luck. I hope we get to see pictures of your little darling all dressed up.

[aserovey]

DH and I are in the same boat. But we have finally decided to pick up and move away from our "crazy's" As a young child I wished that I could have grown up around my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. I just had mom, dad, and my siblings. Now that I am older and moved close to all those other family members. I am grateful that I did not grow up around them. Ever since I moved here I have been playing the "keep everyone happy" game. DH grew up as the peace keeper in his family. He is a sweet guy and doesn't want to hurt anyones feelings. I feel like we don't get to do much just the 3 of us (Our daughter is 15 months old) because we are buisy trying to keep everyone else happy. I won't go into detail about the full situation, and I don't want to say that you should move away from your family. I just think that if you guys ever do decide to move, it's not a bad thing. At first I thought I can't leave them, they are family. Then I heard about a man and his family that moved here from Utah, his family had a lot more kids, but they felt they should move far away from his family. And now that they have they can see a greater love and happiness within their own little family. DH and I know it will be financially difficult to just pick up and leave, but we are willing to do what it takes to have our little family be happy.

[Firespice]

Thanks for the support ladies!!!!

We were SOOO much happier when we lived in KY (2000 miles away from our family's) we only came back because of my stepdaughter. she is 10 ... so for SURE in 8 years we will be out of LA, CA. (too smoggy anyways)

We are just going to suck it up ... and not give anyone warning on next baby name blessing ... or through the party ourselves. the nuts can get together afterwards for there own party.

Tori will be wearing the gown I wore at my own name blessing (31 years ago) which is the same gown my father wore at his (catholic) baptism some 62 years ago. so the gown has some history to it. VERY old fashion ... i am told it was white when Daddy wore it.... defiantly yellow now, but still shiny. a little worse for wear but its too special not to be worn. My brother also had his name blessing in it. heeheehee

and yes I will share pictures.

HUGS

suzie

PS - everyone has gone out and bought a new outfit for the occasion except me. Hubby needs new pants for his suit (he ripped the seat of the last pair) ... I am the only one who will be under dressed (I still am a bit big from the pregnancy so non of my nicer outfits fit yet, and we cant afford anything new. Oh well - Heavenly father cares more about our hearts then what we wear, so that is good for me!!!! heeheehee

my brother is wearing a 1000 suit to this event ... he went all out. (surprising because he hates church - but sure is excited about being an uncle)

[newbiemum05]

I hope all went well with the blessing.
I know how you feel. Living in the UK the law means that an LDS couple have to be legally married before entering the temple to be sealed (a temple sealing isn't a recognised legal marriage ceremony). So the whole thing was hijacked !!
I was so glad that we were able to go to the temple the year after (I had only been baptised 5 months when we were married) and do it our way.
As for baby blessings, my son had a nice little outfir and we asked those closest to us to assist in the blessing then we had a few photos and went home - Bliss !
I am not afraid of offending anyone anymore. It's our family and our beliefs and we'll do things our way and if they don't like it they don't have to be a part of it (which my dad has since decided is the way for him- so be it)
where are those promised pics ???