[NavGabeShiJude]

Okay, so I received a telephone call this afternoon from my DH saying that his younger sister had just had a baby girl. So exciting! We all knew she was pregnant, but she had chosen to not know that sex of her baby.
Well my DH went on to hesitatingly tell me that they have chosen to name her Mary Eliana..... beautiful name right???? That was what I thought.... When I chose that name of the female half of my unborn twins!!!!!!
She stole my name! We got pregnant around the same time, I found out I was pregnant first and actually had the names picked out before she even found out she was pregnant.

I knew that she hadn't yet been able to chose a girls name, but I never ever thought that she would take a name that I had chosen.
I know that some will think this is petty, that is is just a name, but I am 36 weeks, and I am feeling like I will probably be giving birth some time in the next week.... from previous experience I am feeling the same as I felt for all 4 of my other pregnancies, just days before I gave birth.
So now I am in full time panic mode, searching for a new name, a name that has meaning behind it, and one that fits with Noah Daniel (the male half of the set). I really don't want to have to go through this all again, but I can't stick with the name and have cousins with the exact same name.
So my DH is coming home early this afternoon because he can tell I am about at melt down mode (my hormones are making me feel like a teary
two year old) and that I need a break. he is taking the children to the swimming pool and I am gonna go jump back into the baby names book.
I just need opinions, am I being childish about being upset about the name? or was it wrong of her to take the one name I had picked out?
Has this happened to anyone else before? If so, how did you handle it? I know that i am going to stay away from the s-i-l until after my hormones
settle so that I won't say anything hurtful or that I might regret.

[purelegance]

i say keep your name, you've been going the past 9 months expecting mary & noah, and your friends/family are probably expecting a mary & noah. People grow up with cousins with the same name all the time. DS will be named Jack, and he actually has 2 cousins named Jack. But, Jack is a name with important significance to me and i wasn't going to change my mind on it. although, it really helps that we never see one of the cousins, and the other one we see rarely. if it really bothers you, keep mary & change the middle name (or vice versa), otherwise i'd go ahead name my baby girl mary eliana

[NavGabeShiJude]

Thanks. Yeah that hit me about an hour ago when i was talking to my belly (I have to confess that I speak to all of my children all the time... even if they haven't been born yet!) and I said Mary & Noah and I about burst into tears when I realized that it wouldn't be Mary anymore.
My mother in law stopped over and pretty much told me that she was blown away that it had happened. Of course she is delighted with her granddaughter (and I am with my niece) but that it wasn't right.

Thanks for the support, I will have to speak to DH and see what he has to say about keeping the name. I am gutted at the idea of changing it.
Thanks again!

[JMSPGH]

I'm torn on this.

On one hand you made it public what your twins were to be named people might have personalized gifts for them with those names, you have been talking to them as Mary & Noah, your children know their brother & sister by their names, the two names go together very well etc.

On the other hand it might be confusing to have two grandchildren with the same name. My neighbor has granddaughters Kira & Ciera (pronounced KEER-A and KEE-AIR-A) and you really have to pay attention to know who they are talking to/about.

Will these children be brought up closely? My niece & nephew are in close contact w/my children, but my husband's nieces & nephews are only seen once in a while. (especially now that they are older & go off on their own)

[NavGabeShiJude]

Yes, the cousins tend to hang out a lot! I like having a closer family and especially since they are the same age, you can guarantee that they will be together all the time.
I too am torn. I love the name (hence why I chose it) but I also want my children to have a sense of individuality and if my daughter has the same name as her cousin, is born in the same month, will be in the same school and class..... well it won't be too individual.
My DH says we should just switch, that we can be the bigger people and move on. I have never seen him so angry before though, I think he has been thinking of little Noah and Mary for 9 months too, so it is almost like that is who they are to us.
Oh well, I guess all we can do is search for something we like just as much.
Thanks for the input.

[Magic_Mikki]

Wow that is really horrible for your sister in law to take your baby name. Did she know that you were planning on naming your girl twin Mary Eliana? Or was it a secret? It is too original of a name for it to be a coincidence, so if she knew, she is being a horrible friend and sister right now.

Most of us on here have had a similar experience! (You should check back in the Baby Names forum and read a bunch of our stories.. about this time last year I think that I was ranting about my sister in law, who claims that she and I steal her baby names.. she is not married, nor does she even have a boyfriend, nor has she name her names "public", and they also change with the season, so DH and I brushed it off, although it is frustrating!) Anyway, I would TOTALLY keep the name! Maybe your husband could also talk to his sister. Obviously it won't get her to change the name, but at least he could let her know how upset you two are about it! This is not just a little tiff that can be brushed aside, in my opinion. It is a life-long decision for her to do this to you. How horrible.

If you feel awkward about keeping the name now, why not change it just a little? Maybe Maria? Maybe you could name her the same name, but call her by her middle name? Maybe switch the two names around- Eliana Mary?

By the way, I was going to ask, if the middle name supposed to be spelled "Eliana" or is it "Elaina?" Just asking because I know that Elaina is a popular name and thought maybe it was a typo, but if not, Eliana is sooo beautiful! Is it pronounced, "E-ly-ana"?

[NavGabeShiJude]

Yeah, she knew. We didn't keep it a secret, she also knew that I had been calling her Mary in my tummy for the whole pregnancy.
The fact is, is that she couldn't be bothered to think up a girls name she liked in time for her to give birth and she snatched up the first one she could think of.
My husband has spoken to her, but she doesn't think it is a big deal because it isn't like I had actually given birth yet and named the baby. Though if she had used the name Nava or Shiloh I think I would have totally freaked out!!!!!!!!
Each name I have chosen has been chosen because of what they mean. Mary Eliana means 'Wished for child, God has answered.'
I am not sure if it will be the same switched around.
I do have some new ones I have been looking at, but I think I might have to change Noah's name because some of them sound silly, plus I have a feeling I will forever associate Noah with Mary and then it would just bother me.
Eliana is pronounced (Ill-ee-Awn-a) but I like Elaina too!
I am going to check out some of the other names boards so I don't feel so bad knowing that it happens to others!!!

[angelic_ky]

i know two of my grandfather sisters (i think one was sister and the other was sil... it's a large family and i get confuse on whom is who sometimes as we aren't close knit) were PG at the same time, well sister A had choose David for a boy while sister B hadn't choosen a name, sister B gave birth first and stole the name (she did know that sister A had picked that name)... sister A was so upset and my Grandmother told her that if she wants the name so bad then keep it... so a week or so later she had a boy too and also named him David

how about Marie instead of Mary... it's suppose to be the french form of Mary

[angelic_ky]

just had a look on a baby name site and here are alternative names they suggested for Mary
Alternatives: Mair (Welsh), Maire (Irish Gaelic), Mairi, Mara (Hebrew), Mares, Maree, Maretta, Marette, Mari, Maria, Mariah, Marie (French), Marieke (Dutch), Mariel, Mariella (Italian), Marielle (French), Marieta (Spanish), Marietta (Italian), Marika (Slavonic).

it's so rude of your SIL for taking a name you had pick... it might be different if you weren't PG but you are and about due to boot

[NavGabeShiJude]

It is okay, I am past due... will explain in another post.... lets just say that I met my little ones and they are GREAT!