We just found out that my fiance's ex wife (mother of three kids together) has breast cancer. She is having her entire breast removed next month. She also has another daughter to a different father, who isn't in the picture. She's only 34, and we're just worried about how things will turn out. It's a big shock to us
That is bad news. The good news is that breast cancer is very survivable when caught in time. Sounds like she has things under control.
She'll find out more after the surgery, about the types of cells that are there and what is necessary for followup. The big thing is to make sure it has not spread to the lymph nodes.
I found when undergoing my surgery for ovarian cancer, the best thing for me was when family and friends were realistically optimistic. Not "think happy thoughts and all will be well" - and not "omigod she's gonna die." The best was realistic understanding of the wait and see process - real discussion of my options when I wanted to discuss them, etc. Asking "how are you" and then listening when I told them for real. Anything that helped me reinforce my inner strength helped. Anyone who dragged on me got cut loose.
The gift of cancer is that our children get to understand that even if we do not make a complete recovery, we are capable of surviving, living, and sharing our strength. They also learn how to be more responsive and caring themselves.
Hello from Central Illinois, USA!
We are Peanut Butter & Jelly =
Sandwich Generation.
28th Wedding Anniv in 2009.
Blessed w/ 2 sons: age 23 & 20 in college & my elderly father 87, our 'older kid.'
Thanks, guys She doesn't know that we've been told, her father told my fiance's mother. She's chosen the boyfriend to look after the kids whilst she has her surgery, but she knows we are there if needed, generally. We're trying to give her the space she needs, but still show support, if that makes sense
Bad news for us today
Can you take the kids for her for a bit when she has her surgery? That would greatly ease her stress knowing all the kids are ok.
She doesn't know that we've been told, her father told my fiance's mother. She's chosen the boyfriend to look after the kids whilst she has her surgery, but she knows we are there if needed, generally. We're trying to give her the space she needs, but still show support, if that makes sense
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