To be frank, I don't think you can request a specific nurse not to be there. That's just not how hospital scheduling works to my knowledge. If they have x amount of nurses on the floor and you go into labor when nurse rudie pants is on the floor--well guess what--you get nurse rudie pants. I do think you can talk to your doctors about concerns you might have and I do think that you can kick someone out of your room once you're there and they've done something offensive. But rather than wasting your energy--I would instead make sure that the people who are with you that you bring are well familiar with your birth plan and can answer all questions for you and are able to be assertive with whomever if it is needed.
In defense of labor and delivery nurses. . .I think what laboring mothers forget is that they are not the only ones there and these nurses see and help deliver hundreds if not thousands of babies a year. Laboring mommies are not that friendly either. . .and we tend to be a little overly dramatic. Angie will correct me if I'm wrong--but nurses do not decide if you get meds for nausea or for pain--doctors do. Nurses will alert the docs and if there's something seriously wrong--they will make it clear that it is stat. . .If your delivery is normal--you are low on the priority list for both the doctor and the nurse when there are other mothers there who are having emergencies or are further along. And you know what? You should be. Nausea, back pain and all the rest can be normal parts of delivery. They see it all the time and they are trained to look at monitors etc. to assess your issues. So you may be screaming 'back pain--I'm goona die' (as did the woman next to me while I was delivering twins) but they're looking at your monitor seeing contractions that barely peak, seeing that you're dilated 2cm and they know you're just goona have to suck it up because you have a ways to go. Not only that but holding off on meds is generally healthier for you and your baby.
Mind you, I'm not excusing rudeness. . .I too have had some fairly rude people that I thought were not attentive enough. (This is where you're birthing partner needs to be helpful.) Then I had a real emergency and those same rude nurses helped my doctor to save my life and the life of my baby. Their quick action saved my uterus so that I didn't have to have an emergency historectomy. They took care of us while we were recovering and one of them (queen rudie pants mind you) stayed after her shift was over to make sure that I stayed alive.
I don't love birthing in a hospital and would rather be at home or in a birthing center if insurance gave me the option. We likely would've paid out of pocket. . .but then I had twins and I think twins need to be born in a hospital. But I've come to realize that it's not necessarily rudeness or a lack of compassion--but they are just doing their jobs. And one of their jobs is to assess patients in the order of their needs and act accordingly. HTH
BTW there are several sites that have excellent birthing plan forms. I would link but they all have forums so I can't.
But if you google birth plans you'll come up with several.
Birth Plan
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