[kevin5785]

Oh boy do I need some advice! Me and my girlfriend moved in to together about a year ago, I have two teenage daughters 13 and 17 which I have part time 8-12 days a month.
She has a daughter 16 and a son 14 which she has full time except every other weekend. We decided the rooms should be arranged like this. My 17 and her 16 year old would share the master bedroom together complete with a bathroom and shower for them. They have known each other for about 4 years and get along very good.
My 13 year old daughter gets a small bedroom and her son gets a small bedroom. Me and my girlfriend get the large bedroom in the basement. Ok so it's been this way for a year and now my girlfriend tells me her 16 yr old wants to have a bedroom to herself and does not want to have to share anymore. Girlfriend thinks the solution is move my 17yr old and 13yr old into the small bedroom together and they should share. Now when I say small, I mean small 12x12, barely enough room for two twin beds.
She contends they don't spend much time in their rooms anyway and only use it to sleep for the most part anyway. And her daughter spends alot of time in her room and would like to have it to herself since it's her full time house.
Her daughter doesn't want to take a small bedroom as she still wants to have a shower to herself.
MY PROBLEM : I am uncomfortable with stuffing my two daughters into the smallest room in the house so her daughter can enjoy the largest room complete with a shower and bathroom. I think the impresson my daughters will have is they just don't matter as much. If the room was a decent size I would be ok with it, but it's tiny!
It is her daughters full time house but I would still like my daughters to feel that is their home too, at least in part.
Girlfriend believes since my daughters both have their own room at their mothers house it's not too much to ask that her daughter gets a room to herself at hers .
I don't know how to feel about this
HELP!!!!

[Samual]

I agree with your girlfriend on this one, do you have bunk beds in the smaller room? If you did there would be quite a bit of room spare in there.

[kevin5785]

Thanks for the input Samuel, impartial views are waht I need

[pattiewrites]

I would have to disagree. Asking two to share a tiny room so one can have a large room does seem a little unrealistic. I'd tell her either share or take the small room, your choice.

[ruthann8]

I would advise against putting you two daughters together in the small room. It would make them feel as if they aren't as important as your girlfriend kids, almost like you and your girlfriend are trying to have a life with out them. But you never know what they think unless you ask them. Maybe they would feel more comfortable together and room size wouldn't matter. Can you rearrange your bedrooms so you can take back the master bedroom for yourselves? And then put your two girls in the next biggest room?

[purelegance]

putting both in the same small room doesn't seem to make much sense. kind of has them locked away from the world. But it also doesn't make sense to have the 2 who aren't there have a huge master bedroom to themselves. (and therefore vacant half the month). If you really want to accommodate the switching, i would move you & your wife to the master, the 16 yr old in the small room & your daughters in the basement. On the other hand, that seems like a whole lot of work just to accommodate one person who will probably be moving out within 2 years.

[Magic_Mikki]

I think your girlfriend's 16 year old daughter has two choices:
1.) She and your 13 year old daughter can switch rooms and she can have the small room by herself.
2.) Tough crap.

Just my opinion! No one should get favored, whatsoever. Good luck!

[purelegance]

Originally Posted by Magic_Mikki

I think your girlfriend's 16 year old daughter has two choices:
1.) She and your 13 year old daughter can switch rooms and she can have the small room by herself.
2.) Tough crap.

Just my opinion! No one should get favored, whatsoever. Good luck!

michelle, option #2 is exactly what my parents told us when we were all in the house! (there are 5 of us)

[abrahamalegre]

Sit down with your girlfriend and discuss this with fairness and compromises in mind. Can it be possible to have rotations in the time about who can use the large bedroom. It may be painstaking to transfer belongings but there is a hope they realize transferring all the time is difficult which may lead them to just share bedrooms.

[niceonehere]

Kevin5785,
I too went thru this with my girlfriend about 2 years ago. Did not have enough room, my kids were not there all the time & when they were, they were not in their rooms as well. My GF daughter was 14 at the time. I felt for her, cause every kid would like a room to call their own. I can see that now. I too at first felt very confused & frustrated with this. But after thinking about if the shoe was on the other foot, how would I feel about it? What if it was my daughter? I would do whatever possible to make her comfortable. It is a big enough change for kids to move in with someone not their dad then have to share all of a sudden on top of that. Sounds like this 16 yr old has shared for a whole year & now would like privacy now. As far as having the big room, what does it hurt? You will be wasting space if you give the big room to the girls that aren't there all the time. And since it is a master room, is there an issue with her not wanting to bathe somewhere else? Which after going thru this, I can see that. i would not expect a girl not my kid to be comfortable toting around the house in a towel or bath robe. And how would that make the 16 yr old feel? Most 17yr olds should be able to understand that since they have a room of their own, at their home, that naturally so would any other girl their age. I hope it all works out but you really need to consider the 16 yr olds feelings as well on this and not tell her tough crap. Cause if it was your kid, would you tell her that? I doubt it.