[patriotslover76]

How did you find out he was reading your email? Was it an on going thing or just one or two?

[stacyo99]

I dont think im understanding this right....is he just your friend or is her your boyfriend? Do y'all live together?
This is my take on it.
When you cheated, you betrayed him, and no matter how long ago it was, how much you apologized, whether you admitted it or not, it takes time and effort for a broken heart to heal, as well as time to be able to trust again.
My DH had done things in the past, that it took a long time to get over. I became a spy, but only because his behavior and choices, made me. I feel, that when your in a relationship, there should be NO secrets, and Dr.Phil says that after infidelity (emotional or physical) occurs, the cheater needs to be as transparent as they can be. So, I think, if it makes him more secure, to check your things, if theres nothing to hide, why be concerned about it, especially, if its just online stuff. Be greatful, hes not as bad as some guys on Maury that check their girlfriends cell phones, bills, correspondences, underwear, etc.
Based upon my spying (which I not only got busted doing, but also told DH, just wanted to letcha know I was in your stuff today), I gained wisdom and trust back. There was no suspicious behaviors, and nothing to be upset about online.
While you may feel its intrusive, or that he doesnt trust you...maybe you need to re-evaluate the relationship. Before you cheated, did he do this? Are you upset because you have something to hide? Are you upset because he doesnt trust you? Have you ever put yourself in his shoes? Did he cheat on you? If he did, were you spying without him knowing it? Dr. Phils website has great articles (or whatever their called) about infidelity and relationships.
I hope your not offended by my post. I did not mean to hurt you, or defend you BF's behavior, nor imply either of you were bad people. I also hope, you never feel the pain of someone cheating on you.

[neicyspieces]

Stacyo99- I think u said what i was thinking perfectly.

[floridamama]

Originally Posted by stacyo99

I dont think im understanding this right....is he just your friend or is her your boyfriend? Do y'all live together?
This is my take on it.
When you cheated, you betrayed him, and no matter how long ago it was, how much you apologized, whether you admitted it or not, it takes time and effort for a broken heart to heal, as well as time to be able to trust again.
My DH had done things in the past, that it took a long time to get over. I became a spy, but only because his behavior and choices, made me. I feel, that when your in a relationship, there should be NO secrets, and Dr.Phil says that after infidelity (emotional or physical) occurs, the cheater needs to be as transparent as they can be. So, I think, if it makes him more secure, to check your things, if theres nothing to hide, why be concerned about it, especially, if its just online stuff. Be greatful, hes not as bad as some guys on Maury that check their girlfriends cell phones, bills, correspondences, underwear, etc.
Based upon my spying (which I not only got busted doing, but also told DH, just wanted to letcha know I was in your stuff today), I gained wisdom and trust back. There was no suspicious behaviors, and nothing to be upset about online.
While you may feel its intrusive, or that he doesnt trust you...maybe you need to re-evaluate the relationship. Before you cheated, did he do this? Are you upset because you have something to hide? Are you upset because he doesnt trust you? Have you ever put yourself in his shoes? Did he cheat on you? If he did, were you spying without him knowing it? Dr. Phils website has great articles (or whatever their called) about infidelity and relationships.
I hope your not offended by my post. I did not mean to hurt you, or defend you BF's behavior, nor imply either of you were bad people. I also hope, you never feel the pain of someone cheating on you.

Wow! You really summed it up in a nutshell! Good job!
I had a boyfriend years ago that did the cheating, and let me tell you...the pain I felt due to his act was horrible. Not only did it hurt but the trust went right out the window! And for us, it never came back.
I hope you guys can overcome this. Good luck.

[yahyah]

dirti....
I must disagree with most people on here, I once had a boyfriend who snooped on my - reading emails, phone bills, text messages, cell phone log, etc. I never cheated on him. He was cheating on ME! People judge others the way they judge themselves. He was ultra paranoid that I may be cheating on him because of his own behaviours. He broke my heart but did me a HUGE favor. I will never put up with that behaviour again. You should dump him. If he can't get over your cheating experience, then he is holding you back. Likewise, you need to get over your cheating act, you don't deserve to be snooped.

[oweirdo]

I think trust is broken in this relationship. He does not trust you, and it seems that you cant trust him any more......just my thoughts

[elfert]

Yes stacyo99, I have been wanting to reply to this one since the day it appeared, but I couldn't think of a way to express it with out sounding to harsh. Good Job! I agree completely

[blackbeauty123]

hi everybody my name is blackbeauty123 i have somehing is bothering me my story has start in ireland im from the netherlands and im a gospel singer to so before moving to ireland i was first fianced with a famous soccer palyer botfriend he used to play in new castles united and he is playing in porthmouth so he broke up with me and all the press was talking about me because he has cheating on me so the news about me and him was everywhere in the news and i couldn't stand for it so than i decide to move back to a world that i dond't know and nobody knows me to so i was thinking to have to try a normal life going work because i never worked in my whole life so i seposed to make a fake resume to get to work so and than i have eplyed my self in a company who is calls apple computer and the good news is i never worked in a computer and i have no experience but my skills was languages i can speak german,french,dutch,suahili,lingala,afrikaans,and flamish so it was very a good skills in apple computer and than i met my current boyfriend there so he was so kind and he was exactly the way i was imagin a man have to be so than we went for a date and we moved al in two weeks together we where so inlove that we coudn't hesist and than taht was the door of a bigest mistake i have done in my whole life so than we where happy in 6 monh but than i the tour hst start i seppossed to fly foe a 1 month in afrika and there was the start for the braek up and than i cam back but he wasn't the same anymore he told its over u have been gone for to long and it was over my heart was broken and i have decide to end up my career as gospel singer just to be with him and he cam back but than he sepossed to fly in berlin for a familly visit and he took back on drugs and he sepossed to die and he came back he changed again he told me hey i took on drugs again so i can't do that to u u dond't deserve me and i coudn't exept that because i was in love madly in love and i was thinking in all what i have done for him gave my dream of my life away for him no i can't do that so than he broke up again with me and than two weeks ago he cam back and whants me back again and than i gave him the chance again and than i sepposed to fly to switzerland for three days and i cam back he told me listen i can't do this and he broke up again and this he moeved out with all hes stuff he left me he said i dond't love u its over and than i sepposse to move out to because the appartment was not cheap so i took a one bed room appartement and i said ok this time its really over he told his friend that no this time is really over between me and her and than i said ok let try to dat with a nother man just to forget him and i took because im a very beautyful woman so i start dating an italian guy and my ex heard that i took a bofriend and he said wao so soon? he was ver shocked because he thougd i will never fall in love with a nother man than just him so than i told him listen i moving back to netherlands and he said listen i whant to back and i whant to give away my job just for moving in with u in amsterdam and i aid ok if u whant yes why not so now we r here in amsterdam and looking for a appartment but now he is at the moment in germany but to be honest im not in love anymor but im scard to live him and to hurt him and im in love in a nother guy but he isnot single has a girl friend and a daugther but he whant to end up his relation ship to but please help me what can i do i realy whant to break up with him and im scared that he will hurt him self taking overdose and killing him self what can i do . thank u blackbeauty123

[Das]

I would have thought by now he'd been more at ease & not snooped by now.Yes,you feel wrong.
My guy sees this as a not to do thing.I see it as if nothing to hide then why not let partner know.I don't mean snooping,I mean openly knowing each others passswords & having access if ever wants to.I assume mostly my guy would get business stuff but I'm probably wrong,women like him lol.
I'm surprised how many are horrified at their partners having access to their emails.I guess they'd get caught *****ing bout their partners .I get nervous about such secrecy personally but learning accept my guy likes it this way.Many just don't have that openess & it's everyone's right.He just knows if I think something's going on,he'll know about it & he knows that's how it is.
Das

[hennypenny]

It's the price you pay for cheating, I'm afraid. Perhaps this is his way of protecting the privacy of his sexual health, eg making sure he doesn't catch anything. Because that's where my mind would be. It's great he's given you another chance, I don't think I'd be able to do that