06-10-2008, 12:41 PM
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Family Member
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Join Date: Jan 2007
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Can an affair save your marriage?
This is the question brought up by a recently published marriage help book. It takes a new turn on things! Check out my recent article about it! It seems the author thinks that one should never confess to an affair and that affairs can actually be good for your marriage! What do you think? |
06-10-2008, 02:30 PM
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Family Member
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Join Date: Sep 2005
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I looked this one up on Amazon. Despite the rave reviews and the disclaimers, I have to wonder if it is just another excuse for very destructive people in very dysfunctional situations.
The problem with never telling is that if the spouse finds out there is just a whole new level of deception to overcome. And unless you are the master of the universe, there is no way to know for sure that the spouse will never find out. Unless of course, you're already abusively isolating the spouse.
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06-10-2008, 03:03 PM
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Departed
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Join Date: Mar 2008
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Is it just me or are one of the most important factors in marriage trust, not constant deciet.It just seems like an ego boost for cheats and liars. If I found out Frank had cheated on me and decided to keep it from me, that would be a double whammy and he would have absolutely no chance, he would be out straight away.
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06-10-2008, 06:24 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2007
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I agree about the double whammy. I've always heard that any media attention is better than none in the business. I wonder if all of this hype is exactly what the author was looking for to sell her book?
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06-10-2008, 07:30 PM
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Sr. Moderator
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Join Date: Jul 2006
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Selling books = $$$$$$
I do not feel an affair will ever strengthen a marriage.
It is quite the opposite.
Cheaters never prosper.
__________________
Hello from Central Illinois, USA!
We are Peanut Butter & Jelly =
Sandwich Generation.
28th Wedding Anniv in 2009.
Blessed w/ 2 sons: age 23 & 20 in college & my elderly father 87, our 'older kid.'
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06-11-2008, 01:02 AM
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I don't think an affair could save a marriage - it could be the trigger for counselling or something if someone had an affair then confessed, but it wouldn't be the bit that saved it, just the wake up call.
Having an affair and keeping it secret? I can't see that ever doing any good.
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06-11-2008, 05:11 AM
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Managing Editor
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Join Date: Jun 2006
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Nope--an affair is a deal breaker--the only deal breaker for me. Slightly OT but did you see the book about the couple who had sex for 101 days straight? Now that's a more interesting and positive way to save a marriage.  |
06-11-2008, 05:29 AM
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MUCH more interesting.....
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06-12-2008, 07:16 PM
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geeze I'd be sore  |
06-12-2008, 08:34 PM
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If an affair happens in my marriage, the lawyers need to be called. That is most definitely a deal breaker. There's enough drama in a typical happy marriage, why add to that?
On the other hand, 101 straight days of sex is something there is no way we could do right now. We've never been that busy, not even as teenagers and before kids.
My only question is, is she pregnant or did they do it while she was on the rag as well? I know that sounds crude but it's definitely a valid question.
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