Can we talk about the emotional aspects?
I can't believe I am going to say all this because it's been such a private nightmare for me for so long.
I am so forgiving of other fat people. When I see them, I don't even notice they are fat. I see a kind person or a person with pretty eyes or a sweet person etc...
When I look at me I see someone disgusting and hideous.
I do not like to look at myself in the mirror. I do not like to walk down the street because I feel like people are thinking "Look at the fat person. I am glad it's not me. Look at how huge her belly is" etc.. Truth is they are probably not thinking about me one way or the other.
I do not understand how my husband can stand to be with me.
I beat myself up constantly. I have a refrain in my head saying "You are fat and horrible. Your waist is 48 inches, your weight is huge."
I KNOW this is not constructive. I know I have some issues to work out. HOW do I get past these feelings?
How do I see myself as something more than a fat person?
How do I change what I do not like?
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