[yucakaca]

I've been dating this girl for about a year. So far we have our ups and downs and arguments, but we always get back together after disagreements. When we get along, we get along great. Recently she starts hinting for me to get real serious and tie a knot with her. I am more confused than ever. I am 35 she is 2 year older. I want a kid or two, so I cannot wait too long.

One problem is that I have my parents living in another country, and as they are growing old nobody takes care of them and I feel obliged to do it. This makes me have this feeling that I need to go back to the country where my parents stay and just live with them and take care of them. If this is what I do, then the relationship needs to end because her parents are here and she cannot leave her parents.

So I really don't know what to do. On one hand, I can just marry this girl and live my life here in the states, on the other hand I can go back the where my parents live. It is just difficult to imagine that if I end up living here that I will not be able to be with my parents anymore. My parents live so far away it is not easy to travel there. But if I go back there. I don't know if I will like it there, or find a girl as nice as my current girlfriend, plus the fact that I am getting older everyday bothers me a bit.

Another thing too, after dating her for some time, it just feels that I will be a bad person if I break up with her. This problem is not her fault, and the relationship has gone this far partly also because of my inability to make decision. I cant imagine her disappointment if I decide to leave her.

So now I am still dating her but my mind is full of doubtful thought. I told her my problem already, but again, only me can decide.

[letschildproofdotcom]

A good way to tell if a marriage would work would be to take her on a week vacation. If you two can deal with being alone together for a week, then it is a good chance you can live together as husband and wife.

[egytopp]

Originally Posted by letschildproofdotcom

A good way to tell if a marriage would work would be to take her on a week vacation. If you two can deal with being alone together for a week, then it is a good chance you can live together as husband and wife.

i agree with you but marriage not a vacation ,you must passed some hard times with her so think about it.you have to think about the worest to decied
http://marragiefun.blogspot.com/

[letschildproofdotcom]

Right, its not so much the vacation part of it, its about getting along while you are alone for long periods of time.

[shawspear]

I do not believe it's the obligation of the children to take care of their parents and I as well don't believe the parents would expect them to do so either. Parents want to see their children live healthy lives as young (and independent) adults. Ask your parents. I believe they'll say, "don't worry about us. We'll be ok". They don't want you adversely affected by their lives. That's part of being a parent: raise healthy children that grow up to be independent of their parents. Even if you're from Japan, the most extreme case I can think of, I still believe the parents would want you to stay where you are (anyone from there correct me if I'm wrong).


Do what you can from a distance and work towards having a successful adult life with the partner you choose to be with.