[cajessimarie]

I have been married for two years and with my husband for three. and it has been great and he is really a good man. He wants to be a youth pastor but we decided to wait to pursue that until I am done with school and making good money because pastors don't make too much.
well before him I dated this man for three years on and off as well. They are too completely different men. my husband loves and I know he does but he is so caught up in working that he forgets about me. He works from 8 in the morning until like 10 at night every day so I don't remember the last time we spent time together. The man I dated before him makes me feel so different. He is passionate and I can just tell he loves me.
just recently my ex got ahold of me and I went out to see him last night to tell him good bye because before I got married I went to him and told him I didn't want to get married, well I ended up doing it. and now I think I married the wrong man,
I saw him last night and I felt like a little girl and he makes me feel like the only woman isn't that how a relationship is suppose to be?
I can't tell my husband and divorce is not even a word in our vocabulary. I care way too much what people think about me and I don't want to hurt my husband because he truly has been amazing...
what do I do? Just forget my ex..

[1stTimeMomOf2]

Yes, forget your ex! By opening up the lines of communication you are inviting in a lot of thoughts and wondering "What if?". If you are having problems with your husband you should talk to him and let him know how you are feeling. I don't think you made a wrong decision, I think you are making a wrong decision now by being tempted by your ex. Your ex is an ex for a reason. Respectfully tell your ex that you can't have a friendship with him until you fix your relationship with your husband. Be honest with both men and yourself. If you honestly can't fix your relationship then you have to do what makes you and your husband happy. YOu can't torture yourself to stay in a marriage that you don't think will work out.

[cajessimarie]

my husband is very hard to talk to. When we first started dating everyone thinks he is perfect and great for me but I just don't feel that passion like I did with my ex. It was hard because relly my husband is the reason I left my ex. I am so sick to my stomach because I really think I married the wrong guy.

[QueenAngie]

Welcome to the board!

It seems to me that perhaps maturity puts a new insight into relationships.

The man you loved enough to marry, your husband, is working very hard with his job and schooling for a better life for the two of you in the future. He is looking at the future and for the long haul of life together w/ you.

The ex is an ex for a big reason. He is a momentary thrill. Not for the long haul of life.

There must be some time when you and DH can be alone. You take the matter into your own hands and spice it up.

You could always place a thick rubber band on your wrist, and every time the ex pops into your head, pull back and then release the rubber band. Ouch!

A reminder not to play with fire. That's what you are doing by fantasizing about the ex.

[daddyoftwogirls]

Looks like a tough situation and it seems you must go very careful. You should decide if you love your husband or at least if you feel you can live a happy life with him. If so, your priority is to save your marriage and so you need to get your ex out of your mind for the moment. However, this is just the start. It seems that your husband is not really making you happy. He works very hard as a pastor but so what? That's his job and you are his wife. He committed himself to make you happy and that's above his job. Difficult to talk to? I'm sorry, but you need to talk and he needs to listen. I'm sure that as a pastor, he listen to lots of people about their problems so he should be able to listen to you too.
After all, you too are studying hard for the sake of your family's future so you deserve to feel loved and cared for. Living a passionless life is no minor thing, it's not something you ignore and go ahead no matter what. Just make sure he knows this and does something to change and win you back. What tells you that his long hours as a pastor will change in the future? Probably not if you don't let him know. And if it does, will he treat you the same as when your just started?
If 'divorce' is not in his vocabulary, then 'make your wife happy' should.
Sorry for the tone, but I don't think this is your fault.

[Magic_Mikki]

I agree that you should forget your ex. You left your ex for your husband and now you want to leave your husband for your ex? It seems as though your ex is just a temporary thing. Sure, there is passion right now with him, but a lot of that passion is also probably because you always want what you can't have-- and since your ex is "forbidden", it may seem a little more exciting. And excitment passion wear off. I guess you should weigh the pros and cons of the situation, and think logically about it.