[For little Elza]

I don't know much about successful relationships, but I know a lot about doomed to fail ones. I think that you were taken advantage of, and that you have a heart of gold.

Don't worry about how he will feel if it is over, what his family would think, or anthing about him. Worry about YOU and what you need to do to get out of this. I suggest talking to someone immediately who will listen to you talk about the stress of all of this.

You will not have failed if it doesn't work out. You will move on. You will be okay... just be brave and do the best thing you can... WALK AWAY

[pawenmike]

Originally Posted by mcmama

Have the marriage annulled in this country. You were coerced, in a sense - outside of a familiar area, crazy in love, and he was jerking you around. Sounds like he wants a ticket to the States. Also sounds like a setup.
Marriage is for equal partners. Not masters and slaves. I doubt that an Islamic court would honor it.

Or just divorce him and collect your 3000 JD and consider yourself wiser.
By the way, Christianity does not forbid divorce. There are lots of divorced Christians. Sometimes they even remarry - in Christian celebrations.

I totally agree with you mcmama )

[sahmed]

He os just trying to use you for papers but since you are already married give it a try, you will find out what he is up to really

[mesmerise]

Oh dear, what an awful time you've had. And all because you fell in love with someone and saw a chance for happiness. It's not fair that you are now in this situation because of that, I know it's not.
I think you should talk to your family and explain the situation you are in. Talk to them once you are sure what you want to do, not before. I think you know deep down, however hurtful, that you have to walk away from this man. The truth is, if he really loved you; if he really saw you; he would treat you better than he is. I'm afraid that's just a fact. When you love someone you want to see them happy and at peace, not stressed and scared. He's not treating you well enough. Unless he can offer something more, then you should leave him. Think of the you you want to be in 10 years, not right now.

[Lanabanana09]

well i think its not really bout his religion. I think what you should be most bothered is him as your now husband. like c'mon if he really loves you he wont treat you like this and for crying out loud he's been asking you for money !! even the smallest details like him not translating and letting you understand fully what you were about to say in arabic.. if he really cares he wont leave you with a BIG question mark. but anyways i've been in a long distance relationship for like almost 3 years. its pretty hard but we're doing great marriage is not the solution for some stuff. i hope you'll be okay and your marriage will work and all of that.

[lushlashes]

sorry going to be blunt from what I have read there is no question to me to get out of this marriage now before it's too late and before children do come along - I am married to a muslim and a christian girl we did not get married in the mosque we got married in my church but his family were in a different country little did I know he had told them we got married in the mosque and that I had converted to Islam as a result I refuse to fly over and meet his family while they have the wrong information about me - luckily I am strong enough that I take no crap I told him from the start my children would be raised CHristian e.t.c and that's exactly what I am doing - without going into so much detail as I love my kids and my husband looking back for religion reason mainly I really wish I had of married someone of the same faith - my husband is fairly laid back in his faith and does not enforce anything on me he knows though he would not win I doubt though he would be so laid back if we were in his home country surounded by his family for support e.t.c it sounds like your husband to be completely honest is a complete jerk a liar and scum bag and I personally would get rid of him now - ask yourself do you want your children raised in that culture?????????????????????????????

[Muslimregrets]

14 years ago I married a Muslim man. He seemed Americanized, had been here 20 years, said and did everything right PRIOR to the marraige. Some of what you described reminded me of him. He didn't want children and that was that. NO DISCUSSION. He answer was always the same. NO. On almost every issue we disagreed it was the same HIS WAY or the Highway. I always had the highway option.
He verbally abused me for the first 5 years we were together, really badly the first 2 years. I finally started leaving anytime he got nasty and he learned to rein it in, but he still has a hidiously nasty streak.
He withheld very pertinent information from me time and time again, disguising it as oversights, when I have finally come to realize they were out right LIES. He started a business in another state with his brother. His brother was the main source of our problem so when he talked about us moving out of state and him starting a business I thought we would be getting away from the brother, only to find out he was the partner! Then he pretends he told me all along. It is always the same story. I told you....
He made every important decision in our marraige with his brother NOT ME.... then after 7 years I was so furious I started saying I AM YOUR NEXT OF KIN, not YOUR BROTHER.... I guess I said this one time too many, he moved out and divorced me... only to start courting me again, and coerce me into the relationship again, this time as a girlfriend NOT WIFE.
7 years later, my life totally destroyed, I am still with him. I am too depressed and dependent on him financially to leave now ( he convinced me to buy a house I could not afford,) and I foolishly did it. I am losing the house, and facing bankruptcy. I have no debt and great credit all my life. I gained 60 pounds while with him and I am older, so I feel I can never find anyone else any more. Its too late for me.

MY life has been completely destroyed by the deceit, the confusion, the manipulation, the lies, his devotion to his brother over me, his unwillingness to be a family, and have a family with me...

DON"T DO WHAT I DID. LEAVE THIS GUY NOW.. I BEG YOU.