[Molly67]

Somebody help me fast because I am falling apart. I am 40, my fiance' of 11 yrs. recently got into church big time. I spent yrs praying this would happen. He has helped raise my daughter for 11 yrs now. Problem is, he will not go to church with us as a family....he will only ride the church van. I think we should go as a family. Isn't that what holds the family together? He gets extremely angry when I mention it, so I stopped going all together. Just to think, I prayed continously for him for yrs and yrs and God delivered him, but he will not go in the family car- just the church van. He is not involved in van ministry. Someone help me with verses or some kind of help because I am ready to give up on just what God did that I prayed for for soooooo long. In Christ, Molly P.S. for all you men, NO I am not yelling kicking screaming, harping at him, just crying.

[kimchee67]

Is there a way to compromise? I don't know if I fully understand what the situation is. Is he going to a different service than you or are you meeting up there? Is there a way that the whole family can go in the van together? Have you asked him why he only feels comfortable going in the van?

[twinzplus3]

I'm kind of with kimchee. . .what is so special about the church van? Is it a different service or is someone in the church van that he wants to see. Is he not wanting to sit with you all as a family. . .or just wants to go in the church van?

[Molly67]

Originally Posted by kimchee67

Is there a way to compromise? I don't know if I fully understand what the situation is. Is he going to a different service than you or are you meeting up there? Is there a way that the whole family can go in the van together? Have you asked him why he only feels comfortable going in the van?

No. We attend the same service times. Why go in the van when we have a car? Yes I have asked

[Molly67]

Originally Posted by twinzplus3

I'm kind of with kimchee. . .what is so special about the church van? Is it a different service or is someone in the church van that he wants to see. Is he not wanting to sit with you all as a family. . .or just wants to go in the church van?

I dont think there is someone on the van he wants to see. But thanks for the idea. He sits with us there when we get there though. Im ready to quit

[Molly67]

Originally Posted by kimchee67

Is there a way to compromise? I don't know if I fully understand what the situation is. Is he going to a different service than you or are you meeting up there? Is there a way that the whole family can go in the van together? Have you asked him why he only feels comfortable going in the van?

The point is we should go as a family. period.

[Molly67]

Originally Posted by twinzplus3

I'm kind of with kimchee. . .what is so special about the church van? Is it a different service or is someone in the church van that he wants to see. Is he not wanting to sit with you all as a family. . .or just wants to go in the church van?

The point is that we should go as a family. Period.

[kimchee67]

Originally Posted by Molly67

No. We attend the same service times. Why go in the van when we have a car? Yes I have asked

What was his answer?

The reason I suggested that the family go in the van together is because it is a compromise between the two. He likes the church van, you want to go as family. I was just thinking that that might be a possible solution that will keep you both satisfied.

It seems like you want DH to have an interest in church, and now finally does. You need to decide how important it is for him to ride in the car with you. If you are unwilling or unable to accept that this is how he wants to go to church or unwilling to find another solution, then you need to make your decision from there. Just keep in mind, that if you choose to use this issue as the deal-breaker, and end this relationship, your family still won't be going to church together and then won't even be together during the services.

[twinzplus3]

Yeah. . .I agree. If it's something he feels strongly about I'm not sure why it should be a big deal to you to be honest. It's not like church "doesn't count" if he goes in the van and not with you guys. And at least he is going. Is it important to you that he follows the Lord or is it important to you that you ride in the car. . .really only one of those questions has an eternally significant answer.

You asked for Scripture and this is the verse that comes to mind is 1 Peter 3:1--Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,

Although your dh is a believer. . .I am assuming he is a new believer since you said he recently started getting into church. My advice is to leave this issue be for now. You may well win him over with your calm demeanor and Godly character. This is not a spiritual issue in that he is acting unbiblically by NOT riding with you. Personally, I wouldn't care HOW he got to church but just that he is going! That is praise worthy in and of itself!

[QueenAngie]

Why not have all of you go together in the church van?

Then you could ride together as a family.
Maybe he likes the Christian music in the van.
Or the peace and quiet of the van before he gets to church.
A car full of children is not necessarily peaceful & quiet (I come from a large family.)
Maybe the van helps get his mind set on God for a good service.

Those are the only things that I can offer as to his way of thinking.

Bottom line, just be glad he is going to church and sitting w/ you as a family there.