[PROSAC]

hello all
I am new to this site, and have decided to post because it doesnt cost anything.
As a way of introduction i am a married man of 46 with two boys one 26 and the other 31. My wife is 50 and we have been together 28 years married for 9 years. I think we have a great relationship and i do consider my wife to be my best friend , but the problem is we have no sex life , i think we have only made love twice in
8 years,and that wad disasterous due to my inability to perform , i think you could call it lack of practise.
If that wasnt bad enough there is also a total lack of physical intimacy, pecks on the cheek, cuddles ect . To put it bluntly my wifes sex drive ect is none existant.
A little bit of background may help , Looking back i think our problems started when she had Her coil removed sexually i started to perform badly because i was scared of making her pregenant , and after 20 years of unprotected sex we couldnt make condoms work . Thinking that time would resolve this problem she went through the menopause , so i left her alone, and here we are today.
In all honesty i dont think i can spend the rest of my life withot being hugged or kissed.
Any feed back would be greatly appreciated in the meantime i will read all the other previous contributions

[mcmama]

I think you need some counseling.

Menopause is no reason to leave a woman alone. You might need to adjust what you do, or use lubricants, but it is no reason to leave a woman alone.

The little things over a long time are what makes a marriage intimate. If you have been avoiding your wife for a whole lot of reasons, she may just figure the problem is you and has shut down any desire.

Either she has been giving you the "go away don't bother me" signal, or your anxiety has caused her to just give it up.

At any rate, you need professional counseling about this. If she won't go with you, go alone. Also, speak to your doctor about your own health. Your doctor may also be able to recommend a counselor.

[QueenAngie]

Welcome to the board!

Sometimes medications also interfere with hormonal functions, another thing to address with your MD.

It is like riding a bike. It comes back.

Maybe you need to start doing little things she'll like.

Invite her on a date on Friday nights.

Her choice of a restaurant (sit down, not fast food) or a movie.

Hold her hand.

Kiss her hand.

Bring 1 of her favorite flower for no reason.

Offer her a back rub.

You could even scrub her back in the tub or shower.

It starts out rated G and PG to get to the end point you are searching for.

Wishing you all the best!

[mylittlefarmers]

I am sorry to hear that things are so unaffectionate for you two. Ihope you can find some things to help. I agree with both of the ladies that posted above me. Have you tried talking to your wife about this? While sex may not be the answer right away, you could both try to be more affectionate to each other. Take it one day at a time. Good luck.

[PROSAC]

Its nice to share , and thank you so much for your replies, it may seem crazy but i feel alot better