[familyfan]

Hello,I'm facing a difficult family problem, some part of it of my own making*, I'll admit right away. My wife has grown increasingly desparate to solve a caregiving problem so that she can preserve a prized job she has, and work around my work schedule. Our son is 5 years old and there is a period of a few hours where we have no-one to watch him while he sleeps. I work 40~42 hrs per week and she 60~75 hrs per week, but I pay the rent and drive the car.Sounds simple but throw in a teen-age daughter of my wife's from a previous relationship. This person is out of control and brings friends (boys and girls) to sleep over whenever she pleases, refuses to keep reasonable hours, and if home alone, chats on the phone at all hours of the night. Now my wife has the idea that we need to live close to a family of friends she has picked out who have a grandmother who can cover for the parenting gaps at night. She picked out a small 2-bedroom apartment in the adjacent building for its convenient location. I have grown so frustrated about the out-of-control teenager that I have said I will pay any rent, but not sign any lease agreement under the present conditions. Big problem as now my wife has been refused the place she wants unless I also sign.I'm torn because I am pulled by my commitment as a dad, but cannot see myself living peacefully in an even smaller place than we have now, right across a thin wall from our terrible teen. The home we live in now belongs to my wife's Aunt, and they are fed up too of the nuisance the teenager creates.When I have challenged my wife about her job, she defends that (*) I never gave her any money, (though I always provided anything we needed). I really feel she is obsessed about keeping her position as there is the possibility of a big payout after the elderly lady she takes care of dies and leaves an inheritance. But what compromises we are having to make now!I've offered to find another job to better accomodate my wife's hours, tried to steer us towards a larger place, but neither are acceptable to my wife. Tonight we came home and there were four unannounced visitors over; I staged a little strike and my wife ended up breaking glasses, sending the 5 year old running down the street in tears, and then I found my wife having fainted on the sidewalk.I'm not sure what to do next.