[babydawn]

It occurred to me that converts may need some added support, thanks to a pm I received. It makes a whole lot of sense. Converts are often faced with many challenges that people like me (and LDS lifer) have never had to deal with. Many converts families do not approve of their choice of religion. There are often lifestyle changes that are rather difficult (seriously, how many religions believe drinking coffee and having a glass of wine with dinner is wrong). And then there are all of the principles and doctrines that can be confusing if you don't have someone to explain them to you and to discuss them with. I still need help in this area, so I can't imagine how a convert must feel. SO, I have decided to start this convert support thread for any and all converts (or anyone else for that matter) who are in need of some extra support for whatever reason. Please, if you have a problem or a question or just need moral support, post here.

[Tsunshine]

One of my good friends is a convert to the church. I remember her telling me that her family had a really hard time with her decision. But they could tell how happy it made her. She said that she just tried to always let them know that she still loved them. Eventually they stopped giving her a hard time. They have realized how much the church means to her and her dad even told her that he respects her for sticking to what she believed even when they tried to convince her otherwise.

I have great respect for converts and the challenges that they face in joining the church. I have often wondered if I would have the courage to go against family and friends and hold fast to the truth when I found it. Yet this is what converts often do.

I will always be grateful for my ancestors who made the choice to join the church and left their homes in England and other places to come to Utah. One of my ancestors had to leave his two sons behind because his in-laws hid them from him (they didn't like the Mormons) and his ship was sailing. Yet he said that he would do it again because he knew the church was true and couldn't deny it. Later his sons joined him in Utah. It is because of hard choices like this that I now enjoy the gospel in my life.

Stay strong. Your faith and courage will bless generations to come and one day they will praise your name, just as I praise my ancestors who first joined the church.

[blossy]

This past 12 months I had read all of the books in The Work and The Glory series. I was so inspired by all of the pioneers who went through so many trials. They were amazing people and after reading the books I feel that I now know them personally and I cried with them as they faced each trial.

Looking back on when I was baptised and the trials that I faced from my family seems smaller in comparison to the pioneers but to me I think now was a necessary things to help me grow into the person I am today. My Dad was so angry at me for being baptised. In fact the whole family was. Dad threatened to disown me and write me out of his will but I stuck by my guns and kept attending Church. I had the support of my ex-husband, who is a member although not active at the time.
It took a very long time, many years in fact, but my Dad finally accepted that I am now a Mormon and attend church regularly. As I explained it to him over this past Christmas I could be worse. I could be a bad parent who doesn't care about her children and spends all day in the pub drinking, smoking and playing poker machines.

Being a first generation LDS member has not been an easy task. In fact there are times that I look around the chapel and see all the grandparents, their children and grandchildren and think I wish my family has the blessings of the Church. Then I realised that I can have that too. It will just take a while that's all. My children will eventually have babies of their own and then we will be one of those famillies. I now look at myself as a pioneer for that is what I am in my family at least.

[Conrad]

Thank you all very much for your support, but I have lost hope and I don't hink that I can go on, under the current circumstances.

[babydawn]

Conrad, I am inclined to believe that you want to go on, otherwise you would not have sent me the pm you did. I have been thinking a lot about what you have said, and without knowing the exact circumstances, it is hard to give much advice. However, there is one thing that came to mind.... I just got released from teaching in Relief Society. My lesson that I taught in February was all about the tragedies in our lives and why we have to go through such trials. Now, keep in mind that I do not know what problems you are having, but there was one page in particular in that lesson that I think you should read. For anyone who wants to read the whole thing, it is from "The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball" Chapter 2 "Tragedy or Destiny."

"If we looked at mortality as the whole of existence, then pain, sorrow, failure, and short life would be calamity. But if we look upon life as an eternal thing stretching far into the premortal past and on into the eternal post-death future, then all happenings may be put in proper perspective.
Is there not wisdom in his giving us trials that we might rise above them, responsibilities that we might achieve, work to harden our muscles, sorrows to try our souls? Are we not exposed to temptations to test our strength, sickness that we might learn patience, death that we might be immortalized and glorified?
If all the sick for whom we pray were healed, if all the righteous were protected and the wicked destroyed, the whole program of the Father would be annulled and the basic principle of the gospel, free agency, would be ended. No man would have to live by faith.
If joy and peace and rewards were instantaneously given the doer of good, there could be no evil—all would do good but not because of the rightness of doing good. There would be no test of strength, no development of character, no growth of powers, no free agency, only satanic controls.
Should all prayers be immediately answered according to our selfish desires and our limited understanding, then there would be little or no suffering, sorrow, disappointment, or even death, and if these were not, there would also be no joy, success, resurrection, nor eternal life and godhood.
“For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things … righteousness … wickedness … holiness … misery … good … bad. …” (2 Nephi 2:11.)
Being human, we would expel from our lives physical pain and mental anguish and assure ourselves of continual ease and comfort, but if we were to close the doors upon sorrow and distress, we might be excluding our greatest friends and benefactors. Suffering can make saints of people as they learn patience, long-suffering, and self-mastery. …"

I find this to be such a powerful statement and it makes so much sense I thought you might find some answers as well. If you don't mind, you could share what is going on and perhaps we could help you a little more. I am inclined to tell you to meet with your bishop, they often can help people through very difficult times as well, however, I am wondering if that is not an option for you at the moment because of your circumstances. Keep us posted, and please don't give up.

[Firespice]

I love that quote.

Recently in my life i have come to see - that when i do somethign i am suposed to do - i also have more trials. and the better the things I am doing - the more the trails.

It has been hard to deal with at first becuase i was thinking "i know i am doing what is right - why am i being tested so much?" but with each test i learn something new and become a better person.

another quote i like ... "I never said it woul be easy, I only said it would be worth it"

Hugs to all
suzie

[aserovey]

I have 2 stories to share:
First my parents: My mom had just graduated high school when they were married. They decided that they would like to go to church and didn't know which one to go to cause neither of their parents really ever went to any church. The sister missionaries knocked on their doors and were surprised at how eager my parents were to attend church with them the next Sunday. Needless to say they joined very quickly and have been faithful since. It has been hard for them learning a new "culture" so to speak. My parents made sure to do all they could to raise us children in righteousness. Including always, and I mean always having family home evening, scripture study, going to church, you name it they did it. (of course I did not appreciate this when I was younger) My father even made a family song for us when a stake president (or someone like that) had said this would make his family closer. My mother would drag 5 very bratty (and I mean bratty) kids to church each Sunday. My father was in the Army so would be out in the field for weeks at a time. There were times were my mother asked herself why she even bothered, but she did it. My parents had each other for support through all of this (as well as the Savior), they had an end in sight and are now reaping the benefits of all there hard work. Of 5 children, 2 are sealed in the temple. Both of these children has a child. 1 is engaged to be married this summer, and in time the others will marry.

[aserovey]

The second story is my roomate while attending BYU Idaho. (This was abt. 2003) She was newly converted to the church, and from Mongolia. The church has only been there since 1990. She came to America for the English as a Second Language program that the church offers in Utah. She was finishing up her degree in Business, when I met her. She had only been a member for about a year. We talked one night about feeling the spirit. She said she felt it so strongly when she talked to the missionaries and just after being baptised, but that faded. She wondered if she was doing something wrong. She felt lost and confused. She did not know where to turn or what to do. I told her that this was normal. That the spirit can't always dwell with you. That is why you have to do things to bring him to you. This never occured to her. She thought that she would have this strong, burning feeling in her 24 hours a day. We then talked about reading the scriptures, she found them hard to understand. The fact that they were in English was hard enough. She talked about how previous roomates of hers were not such great examples of living the gospel. I told her I would help her. We started reading together, I would stop after each sentance to be sure that she understood what was being said. I helped her to connect ideas, and to better understand what the back ground was for these stories.

My friend had the desire to go on a mission. She only had 1 course to take till graduating and having to return to Mongolia. It was hard for her to tell her parents that she would be leaving for 1 1/2 years to serve when she was so close to graduating. I was able to help her understand the steps to take in making such a decision. Praying, going to the temple. and then asking for a preisthood blessing. She never would have thought to ask for a blessing. But that is when she received her answer. When she heard the Lord speak so directly to her, she knew that all would be well, that she was making the right decision. President Hinckley said that new members need 3 things a friend, a responsibilty, and nurturing by the good word of God.

I have been able to be a friend to others, to help them understand how to take the great teachings of the gospel and to live them in our daily lives. It is hard to adapt to a new way of thinking, and living. There is so much that changes at one time. And not everyone knows where to turn. As I have changed from diferent phases in my life I look to those who are happy with where they are and try to understand what makes them happy. For example after graduating high school, I entered the work force and hated every momment of it. I started to notice how happy the young adults that had decided to go to college were. I decided then that I would go to college. Now that I am a mommy, I look to those that are happy stay at home mommies. And see how they do things. It is the same with new members. They need someone to help guide them through this transition. It just takes one person to make a world of diference. I would be gald to help in whatever way I can.

[o0jonna0o]

I'm a convert as well. I was baptised many years ago, but because my father (who is my only other link to the church) lived out of country and my fear of being and outcast, I rarely stepped foot into church on Sunday.

After getting married and having my son, I was determined to make sure he was brought up in the church, so he wouldn't have to go through what I did and so he would have the foundation that I missed. When he turned 6 months old and started becoming ill, it became so hard to get him to church on Sundays, so I stepped back, again.

Here I am again, fighting with myself to go. I just worry that since he's so fussy, not wanting to sit still, let alone be quiet, that I won't even be able to get through Sacrament! I worry that my tattoos will show and that I won't be accepted.

I know these are all pretty mundane excuses. I know all it takes is to get up one Sunday morning and going.

But you're right, converts face quite a few challenges for sure.

[babydawn]

Originally Posted by o0jonna0o

IAfter getting married and having my son, I was determined to make sure he was brought up in the church, so he wouldn't have to go through what I did and so he would have the foundation that I missed. When he turned 6 months old and started becoming ill, it became so hard to get him to church on Sundays, so I stepped back, again.

Here I am again, fighting with myself to go. I just worry that since he's so fussy, not wanting to sit still, let alone be quiet, that I won't even be able to get through Sacrament! I worry that my tattoos will show and that I won't be accepted.

I know these are all pretty mundane excuses. I know all it takes is to get up one Sunday morning and going.

But you're right, converts face quite a few challenges for sure.

Welcome to Families.com.

All I have to say is that EVERY mother goes through the "practically inactive because of a sick kid" phase as well as not being able to get through sacrament. I have a 2 year old daughter and well, we make it about half way through right now. The good thing is once they are 18 months, they get to go to nursery so even if you don't make it through sacrament, you can still make it to sunday school and RS.

I know many LDS people with tatoos. I think that you would be surprised at how people reacted. Sure, there will be some "holier than thou" types, but NO ONE can do anything right in their eyes, so, I wouldn't worry to much about them.

I hope you do come back to church. Let us know if there is anything we can do to make it easier.