[ljb]

I know the typical response to that question. 'It is what you make it'.

DH and I have not been getting along for some time now. We can go from perfectly content to knock down, drag out fights (verbal only) in a matter of minutes. I am not here to b!#%tch about him. I just want opinions if counseling will work for us. Neither one of us have been in counseling, together or individually. But I think we both recognize that we need to do something. We have both said and done things that were hurtful and regret. (At least I do)

I am scared, overwhelmed, nervous, angry and sad about this whole thing.

I love my husband and want to make things work out. We cannot live like we have been. We are both miserable.

I know a bunch of folks have been through counseling. Am wondering if you think that it helped your relationship at all? Or is this the last-ditch effort before the inevitable divorce? (Looking for encouragement, here!!!)

[purelegance]

DH's commanding officer made DH & his exwife go to counseling, it didn't work. but there was no hope, he dispised her more back then than he does now (which is still a lot).

a friend of mine & her husband did it and they're doing very well now and are probably going to start TTC in the next year.

it really really depends. if you're both willing to fix things, it will work. Before you try counseling, when was the last time the 2 of you had a weekend or just night to yourselves? DH and i went through a few rough months, after a serious [non-defensive & honest] discussion and weekend to ourselves, things were much better. it still took some work after that, but without that weekend we would've called it quits.

[mcmama]

You cannot go into counseling with an idea that it is going to "work" only if you achieve a desired outcome. Go into it and be open minded. It is a process.