[newlywedmomtobe]

My husband and I have been married for just a few months and I already feel a serious lack of affection ever since. He's rarely, if ever even, says I love you, kisses me, hugs me, cuddles, holds my hand, or give me compliments like he used to when we were dating. I feel that it may have something to do with my being pregnant and him not being attracted to me in the same way and possibly the marriage or the combination of the two. If that's the case then I can't help but question the depth of his feelings for me. It's not that I have let myself go either. I still maintain my appearance very well, even being so far along and all. He just doesn't ever seem to notice me anymore. I thought he would also be more nurturing and protective and take more of an interest during the pregnancy. All of this is not helping me to feel secure in our marriage and of his feelings. I have expressed how I feel to him and broken down in tears at the same time but it only seems to prompt one, maybe two gestures and then returns to the way it was shortly thereafter. As a result of this, I can't seem to handle him ever going out with his friends (which btw are total perverts) and it's not like he does that often anyways. It always becomes this big dramatic ordeal and my mind can't help but wonder, if I'm not getting his affection, than who is? I want to be sure that things are right between us, not only for the sake of our marriage, but for the example that I want to be set of what a loving and healthy marriage should be for our baby girl that's due very soon. That means everything to me. Don't get me wrong, he has been a very good provider and in fact just bought us a house and I know this is a way of showing love, but I just need to be loved in some more affectionate ways as well in order to have my emotional needs met. If anyone can relate, or at least understands and has any input, it would be greatly appreciated.

[mrmnmom82]

The first year of marriage is difficult. I also got pregnant in the first year of my marriage. In my opinion he didn't spend enough time with me, he was working and going to school, I was home by myself and lonely. Now obviously that has nothing to do with him choosing to be away from me, but combine the glitz and glitter of the new relationship waring off with a hormonal preg. lady, and you get tears and over annalizing.

Some men don't know how to deal with a pregnant lady. We're over emotional, snippy, extra cuddly, uncomfortable, amoriss....... they never know which one we will be. So maybe he is spending time with you the best way he knows how. Just because it's not the same way he used to show effection and express himself doesn't mean the marriage is falling apart. Believe me, I remember thinking that during our first big argument, "we're not supposed to fight, we're supposed to love each other and be happy with each other oh no! Our marriage is never going to last!!!!!! "

We're going on our sixth year of marriage and have learned that we won't allways get along. We have learned that men and women express themselves differently. And we've learned that I tend to over react for the tiniest things! It's about being patient and understanding.

Also, the changing body thing is different for different men, some LOVE the belly, some spend the whole time wondering what the heck is going on in there. Lack of control is intimidating to men. He has nothing to do with what is happening to you, and that might be freaking him out. He might feel left out? We have to remember that they are effected by this too, not everything they do is a reflection on us. It's about us a lot of the time, maybe make it about him for a while, in a possitive way.

When this baby comes along he is going to be one of the last things on your mind for a few weeks, or months. He might feel like he allready is getting pushed to the side by this baby, my friends husband was kind of resentfull of the baby for the first 5 months, until the baby started to respond to him too, and enjoyed him, he felt needed and wanted.

Our sweet men are more sensitive than we might think.

Sorry this was so long.

[oweirdo]

Wow she took all advice from me....I dont think there is much to add there, marriage changes even the most stable relationship add a baby to the mix and you have to have faith that it will work out! Heres to hoping that he comes around and you two make a long and happy marriage.

[DivasMomma]

ha my hubby and I are going through the same stuff...we had one kid and one on the way when we got married...before the kids I would get told ALL the time about how beautiful I was (and it actually irritated me! The things you look back on! ) Now we have been married almost a year and have some very rough patches...for the first time ever hes the one working and bringing in all the money, and i stay at home with the kids. No adults, nothing. So, i just went abck to work on the weekends...today was the first day and BOY did i talk some peoles ears off!!! I was very happy to be around OTHER people again...Have you tried having a night set aside for your own friends? he goes with the guys, and you with the girls? you would be amazed how much being around OTHER people will make you re-connect...HTH and goodluck!

[cutnbind]

After 4 kids, I can tell you pregnancy has its difficulties for men also. Many times there is a story book idea of what things will be like after marriage, and during pregnancy, for the both of you. If you feel you are giving 90% and reaching constantly toward him, pull back. Don't do it all at once, and don't do it with anger, try for indifference. He will notice after a while, (we are not the quickest witted creatures) and he will start to pursue you. At least it works in my marriage, it is done without thinking for many men. Give him time with his friends, and you should take time for you. You will be OK, this is that part of getting to know each other, my wife and I were best friends at 14 we are 44 now, we still go through our bumps.

[snugglepup]

well it may just not be nothing, some men are just not into that affection thing like we are. M husband loves me but he's kind of like that.

[emilye]

Hope things are going ok for you.
My DH and I have been married almost a year and things have started to improve now. I think as there is so much change when you are married things are bound to happen like this.

All the best
Em

[chio88]

Originally Posted by mrmnmom82

...combine the glitz and glitter of the new relationship waring off with a hormonal preg. lady, and you get tears and over analyzing.
Some men don't know how to deal with a pregnant lady. We're over emotional, snippy, extra cuddly, uncomfortable, amoriss....... they never know which one we will be. So maybe he is spending time with you the best way he knows how. Just because it's not the same way he used to show affection and express himself doesn't mean the marriage is falling apart.

Well said