[cnnbotha]

Do you prefer money being spent on you above someone doing something nice for you for your birthday?

Well, this year has started out bad financially. My husband's birthday was on Tuesday. I ordered him Salsa Dancing DVD's on the internet for his birthday present. This might sound a little corny, but we are both a little overweight and have been talking about doing something we both like, to get a little exercise. I also know how much fun dancing can be and how it changed my life when I took up dance lessons a couple of years ago. He did mention that he would like to dance but don't want to look like a fool in front of other people. So I thought it would be a good present, since it could also bring some spark into our relationship.

Unfortunately, his present did not arrive on time, so I tried to make his B-Day as special as I could. I gave him breakfast in bed, not just any breakfast, one that you'll get in a 5 star hotel.

I cleaned the house and made sure it was spotless while he was at work. I then made him a 5 star dinner. I set the table with candles and everything as you would for a formal romantic dinner. I played light classical music in the background and made little notes, from where he would enter in by the door, almost like a treasure hunt.

For his first clue he was led to the first hiding spot, where he found a little B-Day Coupon Booklet, that I made for him. Every coupon inside the booklet has something special I can do for him, like giving him a 30min footrub or a 1hr massage, anything that will make him feel happy and relaxed.

The second clue led him to a page in my journal I wrote a while ago about how greatful I am for him in my life and all the good qualities I see in him.

The third clue led him to the dining room table where we had a beautiful dinner. Then, I gave him a clue to what the present was that I ordered for him by leading him to the computer where I had the website on from where I ordered the present. Lukily he was very excited about the gift.

When he came back from the computer to the dining room, his dessert was waiting for him. After dessert I gave him a note asking him to take a shower and wait on the bed. While he was in the shower I decorated the room with candles and played light classical music.

After the shower, I gave him a nice long massage.

It was the best birthday, he said, he had ever had and that he prefered being alone with me above going out.

I enjoyed doing those things for him, because it made me feel that I was showing him how much I love him, by doing something special for him. It also showed me that I can do something creative and romantic if I really wanted to.

[MissyChrissy]

Wow! That's quite a birthday!!! I'd have to say, my vote would be for the creativity---IF my husband were 1/4 as imaginative as you are!

[cnnbotha]

Thank you for the compliment. I can not really take full credit for imagination, since, most of the things I did for my husband just came together from ideas on television or the internet. I just actually tried them myself.

The biggest reason for me writing about this, is because I feel that romance lacks in most relationships. Maybe because the wife is waiting for the husband to be romantic or the other way around. My husband is not imaginitive at all and so, the romance is also not very dominant from his side. For a long time, I was disappointed by his lack of romance in our relationship, only to realise, that I have not been doing much in that regard either.

This year I have made it my goal to find opportunities where I can experiment with romantic gestures and see what it does for our relationship. It is so easy to think,"well I have done enough now, I want my husband to do something special for me now", but that is not what marriage is about. It is about being selfless and being in service to your husband or your family. Normally change starts when you change yourself.

Thank you for your reply!

[Samual]

We normally do a bit of both, normally though the money part is kept to a very small amount. As to us putting the thought in and doing something yourself is more important than buying a present.

[etali]

I've never done anything anywhere near as imaginative as you. I've made handmade gifts a few times, but only if I know the recipient will appreciate them. When it comes to me and hubby, we don't normally bother with birthdays too much. Neither of us is into big gifts, so it's normally just a day of 'you get to do whatever you want', but not too much celebration.

I think the orignal post was pretty cool.

[Paul79SoFL]

We're also not into buying things for each other for b-days, but would rather have experiences together like go to a new restaurant or travel somewhere.

That sounds like a dream b-day to me. Your husband is a lucky guy.

[EmilyJames]

I would rather the thought then have someone spend lots of money. For the most part if I want or need something

[chio88]

This is so inspiring! I totally agree that in a relationship, you should learn how to be selfless. And the only thing that you can change anyway is your self because you have no control of the other person. But if it starts with you...everything will follow.
Great post cnnbotha!

[jmmv08]

You've a nice post! My husband and I we're not into big gifts. But we try to make our b-days as special as we could without spending too much.