[darthgym]

Join me as I write my first ever series for families.com tackling the topic of daddies bonding with their babies. In today's article, I just introduced the topic of bonding with baby through the 5 senses.

How do you (or your dh) bond with your baby?

[MiaCamille]

For me and Dh also (I think) the bonding is immediat, as soon as i found out i was pregnant i was in love and we i saw them the bond was instant. And for dh when he first held them the bond was instant...

[twinzplus3]

I think our attraction and love for them is immediate but I don't think they feel instantly bonded to us. For each of my children, they very clearly preferred me over dh for quite awhile. At least for me, all the 'bonding research' held true in observing differences between how our babies bonded with us. Even between the twins, the one who was born vaginally bonded more quickly then the one born via c/s. My dd #3 who was very difficult to bf, took longer to bond and so on. . .

[Alejandros Mommy]

The moment I found out I was PG with Aiden my DH started a blog about our "journey" I found that he loved that I was PG...esp when Aiden started to move around and he could feel him. He talked to Aiden....played games with him..he started bonding even before Aiden was born

[QueenAngie]

Originally Posted by Alejandros Mommy

The moment I found out I was PG with Aiden my DH started a blog about our "journey" I found that he loved that I was PG...esp when Aiden started to move around and he could feel him. He talked to Aiden....played games with him..he started bonding even before Aiden was born

DH was the same. I think I found out quickly that we were expecting and he was there each step of the way, being supportive.

I think that BF babies automatically do prefer Mom and the food source.
Mothers chests smell so good with the mother's milk.....from the viewpoint of a baby.

Daddies do not get to BF, but it is still very important that they get to spend time bonding.....burping, changing, bathing, and just playing with baby. Daddies can always
give that extra bottle of BF milk too.

Good points!

[darthgym]

All of my children were nearly exclusively breastfed for their first year. My kids definately prefered to be held by my wife-even when they weren't hungry. I found that as they started to eat, they liked hangin' out with me some, too. I certainly wanted to hold and be affectionate with them that whole time. They just wanted to be with mommy. (I was always talking to baby during the pregnancy, too!)

[PapaBubba]

I started bonding with mine within the hour of their births. While mom recouped, I would sit back in the chair and hold the baby on my chest. The only times while in the hospital, the baby was not being held by me, she was being held by my wife (aka mom) or being examined. I would say that roughly 80% of the time I was holding the little one... and have kept up the daddy time since. I am not trying to toot my out horn or anything. Now, our daughters will go change back and forth between who they want to be with more. Sometimes they pile on mom and sometimes they pile on me.

I strongly believe that early on skin to skin contact makes the difference.

Another factor is that my wife works some evenings plus weekends while I work the traditional workweek so they are never in daycare. It is harder on my wife and I but it is much better for the kids. This also means that that little ones get hours of time with just me.

[treeclimber]

Perhaps this is odd, but it's been the opposite with my fiancee and I and our three-year-old. She was unexpected, we were both young (still are, I guess..) and he has had a really hard time adjusting to life as a daddy. It's taken him a while, and as she has grown into a communicating little person, I think it has become easier for him to interact with her. I've also noticed that whever I pushed him to bond with her, he resisited, but if I just left him alone to do his own thing with her, he'd find cute little ways to interact and strengthen their bond.

[twinzplus3]

Ahem. . .I might get in trouble for this one. . .but I happen to know that the OP, while he knew to bond and to make an effort at it. . .was a few children into really, really bonding with them and knowing what to do. I think a lot of men aren't quite sure what to do with little babies.

[DivasMomma]

Originally Posted by treeclimber

Perhaps this is odd, but it's been the opposite with my fiancee and I and our three-year-old. She was unexpected, we were both young (still are, I guess..) and he has had a really hard time adjusting to life as a daddy. It's taken him a while, and as she has grown into a communicating little person, I think it has become easier for him to interact with her. I've also noticed that whever I pushed him to bond with her, he resisited, but if I just left him alone to do his own thing with her, he'd find cute little ways to interact and strengthen their bond.

DH is the same way...we were 20 when DD1 was born..he was in and out of lived for the pregnancy and the first year. But still....she seems to go to him more. Daddy's girl to the fullest...he didnt get "good" with her until she was old enough to rough-house and play.

With DD2 we got married when I was 5 months preg and we were 22. But, he still didnt do the whole "bonding" thing while i was preg...he felt awkward touching my belly, didnt ever talk to her, but this time, he made it to jsut about every appointment. He bonded with her a lot quicker then our first DD. He was VERY nervous at first because she was a preemie, but after he got used to her size he was changing diapers and feeding her with no problem!

Now hes like a daddy pro! Does pretty much everything but bathe the baby...the older one he has no problems, but hes scared to death to drop the baby under the water! I dont mind tho, he helps out with everything else now