[HopeDiamond]

I appreciate all opinions on this matter.

19 y.o. daughter admits she's been spending nights with boyfriend and has intentions to continue it as a living situation.

Her present college is paid for 100% by us. We also provide health insurance, car insurance, a vehicle and vehicle repairs.

She's been working and going to school (only 12 hours) this semester. The year before she was away at school full-time and did not work then or over the summer. She has been 100% dependant upon us until the last two months. Since she has been home where she doesn't need living expenses, she has not been getting $$ for food, etc. Since she has been working, she she has been paying for most of her gas.

We do not expect our kids to work during the school year if they are taking a full load (15, 18 hours and up -- not the 12 she's taking now). She made the decision to take only 12 and get a job.

We do not agree with daugher living with boyfriend. (She is my stepdaugher, so we thought she was living with mother's side and knew she claimed to be spending many nights with a friend who has apartment.)

Daugther believes that there will be repercussions such as losing the car. She says she wants to know if she needs to make plans for a vehicle. Basically telling us that she intends to continue living with boyfriend despite repercussions.

She has no problems with the idea of us not paying for college because even though we provide a considerable amount a year toward college, her out-of-state school required her to take out school loans for the remainder over that. She already has a year of loans. If we don't pay our portion and she goes back to other school, her loans would be around $20,000 a year just for school and she'll have at least 3 years more of school.

So, I'd really like to know what you all think is appropriate.

There are two more kids after her to consider in the decision as they will expect to be able to do the same things by the example we set with her.

What would you do?

[JeanLynn81]

How are her grades in school? Are they suffering any because of her current living situation?

[HopeDiamond]

We don't know. She's just been back home 2 months and she's taking two crap classes. She wanted to just take a leave of absence when she returned, but she had to go to a local college full time to avoid her loans from kicking in.

[QueenAngie]

Welcome to the board!

We have 2 sons in college. The parents have no idea what the student grades are these days......unless the student chooses to share the information.

I hear you about the $20,000/year tuition costs. That being said at our home, since we are still paying the bills, we still have some of the say over their lives. Our health insurance does not cover a part-time student either, only full-time students.

DH, you, and DSD need to sit down and have a chat about all this.

At our house, if you are old enough to live with a person of the opposite sex (better be within the confines of marriage), then you are mature enough to pay your own bills. Certainly, we would be supportive.

Let us know what you decide to do.