[ttfn32]

I have been married going on 5yrs now and i feel like everything's going down hill. We are more like room mates now than anything. Theres no affection, no sex, no real contact. There has been cheating on both sides and some abuse from him. We've tried marriage councling , couples get aways and nothing works and neither one of us is happy. I have now found someone that makes me very happy and wants to be with me. I want to separate but I have 2 small children involved and I don't want them to not have their father around. I don't know whether to stick it out with my husband for the children or leave for the sake of my happiness. please help any advice is appreciated

[Alejandros Mommy]

Hello and Welcome to families.

Staying in a untrusting, unloving and abusive relationship is not healthy at all. It sounds like you both have tried everything to make this work. Children are never a good excuse to stay in this type of relationship. The understand more then we realize. You don't want them growing up and thinking this is what a relationship should be like.

As to your new found love, you are still married. If/when you divorce then go for it. You deserve to be happ, but you are still married now. Adress the present issues before moving onto another relationship. Stay friends with this person but just friends. Your children will need an adjustment period and introducing another relationship at this time won't be in their best interest.

[ruthann8]

I agree with previous post. Also I hope you are not trying to make yourself feel better about your other relationship. How long have you had this relationship? Trying you save your marriage at the same time as having an extra relationship is not going to work. Getting a divorce doesn't give you the ok to have the other relationship.

I agree that a divorce does seem to be what is best for you and I wish you the best. Good luck!

[ttfn32]

thank you for your commets. as for the other relationship, we've beenn friends for over a year and didnt start to become more untill a little over a month ago

[clifpi]

TTfn32,
I agree whole heartedly with the first reply. I don't think starting another relationship is the right things to do, it seems very selfish as you are thinking about your own feelings and happiness.
I am sure you two are both good people and parents. Relationships go through there up and downs..do the right thing and be true to yourself. Stop the cycle of cheating...you are causing more pain to an already damaged relationship.