[VinniesMommy]

When me and DH first moved in together, we decided that I would do all of the house work, and he would be the bread winner. He got to do the "man" jobs like cutting the grass and taking the trash out. I started working part time about 6 months ago, and I continue to do all of the house hold chores ((clean up after the kids, laundry, dishes, mopping, sweeping, dusting, vacuuming, etc)) and I was fine with that, because I would work 2 week nights for 4 hours, and a 6 hour day, either Saturday or Sunday. No biggie. But now my hours have increased. I work 2-3 work nights, for 5-6 hours a night and I work both weekend days, 8-9 hours. I have still managed to keep on top of the house hold chores, while taking care of the kids, but I've having a hard time. I feel like I never get 5 minutes to myself other then while I'm at work. Well, I worked Friday night until 11pm, then I worked 9:30-6 Saturday and Sunday, so Sunday night I was trying to play "catch up" on all the chores. I asked DH why there was 3 days worth of dishes in the sink ((and all over the counter tops!!)) and he said "because you didn't do them?". I was livid. I really thought that he would pick up some of my slack while I've been working, but he doesn't! I left a basket of laundry next to the couch Friday night, it was all folded, it just needed to be put away. I came home Friday night and the basket was still there! Sunday I mentioned to him that I've been working like crazy trying to keep up with things, and asked him if he could pitch in a bit, and he said "But I work 40+ hours a week? You said that the house work was all your responsibility". I know that he works hard all week, I do! And I know that my job is not that hard at all, I am a cashier! But, I'm not HOME to do the work, and he will be the first one to complain when he doesn't have clean clothes for work, or there are no bottles left, or no clean dishes. I don't know what to do. He thinks because he works more and harder, then it means that the rest of everything falls on me. I'm tired of it! I am tired of coming home at 11pm and having to wash bottles because the baby is all out, or clean up from dinner because I don't want bugs all over my kitchen. How do I get him to pitch in more?? I'm going crazy!!

[Samual]

The comment about the crockery was very rude of him, here I'm the only one with a job, I work over 40 hours a week as well but we share all the housework. He is in charge of downstairs, I'm in charge of upstairs, the only time it changes is if one of us offers to do something like the washing up, or if we have been especially messy somewhere. We don't do each others washing either, we do our own and the children's, otherwise Frank ends up doing mine every time.

[AussieD]

You need to sit down and calmly have a talk with him explaining that though that was fine once for you to do all the housework that is no longer the case. A decision made once is not irrevocable . Sometimes situations change.Now you need some help and for him to share the load. Without making accusations, tell him how you are feeling and that you are not coping. And make out a list of what jobs need doing and who can do them.

[mollymae]

Tell your DH to pull his finger out!! Geez whats does he wants a mother or a wife! My DH works about 50 hours a week and every other weekend and he still comes home and does housework! Do you want your boys raised thinking that woman should wait on them hand foot and finger?

[Tracey with 6]

you need to talk to him and reassess the wya you guys live, I ama sahm and my dh works a 40plus hour a week job but he still comes home and helps put the kids to bed , cleans up the lounge room every night and washes up 3 nights a week,. We tried it with me doing it all and it just didn't work . So tell him weither he mans up and helps of his 'hard earned'wages will be paying for a cleaning lady to help you out!

[mcmama]

Is he resentful of you having a job? Because if he wants you to keep that job which requires you being on your feet until late, he should not be expecting you to come home at 11:30 PM to a dirty house. That's just unreasonable.

He wants maid service, he has to make more money for you to hire a maid.

[angelic_ky]

being a cashier is not an easy job; granted your husband may have a harder job but that by no means mean that your job is easy

you need to sit down with him and tell him that now that you are pitching in with the "bread winning" he now needs to pitch it with the house work

i find that DH usually wont do much but if i say to him that this, this and this needs to be done could you do them for me? then he will usually pitch in

[wanttobemommy]

Im sorry sounds like our DH's think the same at least when it comes to housework . My Dh and I got into a fight because I am always so tired since throwing up takes a lot of my energy. So keeping the house clean and Jaxon fed and clean and cooking dinner and all the other misc. stuff I do I cant seem to get everything done. I told him today that I understand that he is the only one making money which is why I am not nagging him 24/7 to do things for me but since I am so sick and tired lately all I ask is if you see something lying around like dirty clothes put them in the hamper, dirty dishes at least put them in the sink (my dh actually does the dishes but thats about his only chore) Basically I said that I am not asking him to do my duties daily but a little help once in awhile would be nice. I then explained to my hubby that I do little extras for him here and there to show my appreciation and said that by helping me out you show me that you care about me. (may not work on your dh but it did for mine)

[VinniesMommy]

Thank you for your advice, I love the maid service idea, hahahaha!! I think tonight after the kids go to bed I'm going to have a long heart to heart with him about things, so that he knows I'm serious. Normally if I just say something in passing, it goes in one ear and out the other... We shall see, haha! Hopefully this will be an easy conversation and he'll see my side without me screaming it at him

[angelic_ky]

good luck