[Magic_Mikki]

A couple of months after Devon was born I had the Mirena IUD put in. I thought it was going to be the best thing in the world (I'm a no-fuss kinda gal!) and it's ok, but I feel there is something better out there for me. I'm just not a huge fan of the IUD, I guess but nothing serious.

Anyway, my sister in law loves Yaz, and I've researched it a little bit and I like what it says it can do. I know that it might not do everything it says it can do, but I really want to give it a go, and I'm going to! I made an appointment for next Thursday, the 12th, to have the IUD removed and get a prescription for Yaz. DH is not happy with this decision because he feels like I'm tricking him into having another baby! He is accusing me that I am going to not take it on purpose! I talk about having more kids someday, but I DEFINATELY don't want any more right now! I'm insulted that he is accusing me of this.

I believe that it is my body and I can do what I want with it. I agree that in a marriage some things should be a joint decision, but this really doesn't have much to do with him because, IUD or Pill, the birth control is the same! It's the side effects that are different, and he doesn't have to deal with him! I've tried to explain things to him, and he doesn't want to hear it, and doesn't really care anyway. I feel like a child.

Anyone else ever have this problem? How did you handle it? I think I am just going to go ahead with the Pill anyway!

[twinzplus3]

To me the problem doesn't read as a birth control issue but rather a trust and communication issue. He isn't trusting that you will take the birth control and you are feeling hurt that not only has he accused you of such a thing but also that he doesn't seem to care what the effects are. I would venture a guess that he also might be hurt that you don't feel like he should get a say. After all, if something happened with the birth control, if you forgot to take it accidentally or if it just failed, then you both would have to live with the consequence. It is your body, but it really should be a decision he is okay with.

I think you deal with it like you deal with any other communication problem. The bc is a side issue. The issue is why he isn't trusing you. But I have to be honest and say that I don't think going on your own and doing it is going to do a lot to foster the trust that is already lacking. Sounds like it's time for a heart to heart.

[KR258]

I think Val summed it up pretty good. I do think its your body and your the one who has to deal with the side effects so if you don't like what you have then you should switch. I understand his concern though and although it might not be completely valid you should talk with him about the different options and tell him why you want to switch. Let him tell you how he feels about it and try to come to an agreement if you can. If he thinks it was his idea it'll go much better for you...but he should trust you enough to make the right choice. I am sorry you're going through this and wish you lots of luck!

[jkl123]

If he's really that upset and mistrusting, I'd just tell him to take his own precautions. Why do men always assume it's the women who has to take drugs into her system and suffer the side effects... and then be PO'd when you don't want to keep suffering. Tell him to use condoms or get fixed himself if he doesn't trust you!

[QueenAngie]

You two need to have a sit down, quiet, one on one talk.
Communication is the key.

IMO, it is your choice which BC for your own body.
He can always use condoms. Not 100% effective, though.

[purelegance]

it's funny bc my DH kept pushing and pushing for me to get on the pill. Personally, i hate the pill (i ALWAYS get pregnant on it. i've had several early m/cs on it and dd and now this one) i loved having a diaphragm, never once had any issues. unfortunately they're very hard to get without insurance (expensive), though it's not as bad as mirena. Maybe that's something you could look into.

[Magic_Mikki]

Thanks for the responses, ladies! DH and I chatted a couple more times about it, and it turns out that he was just worried that I will get pregnant again. I got pregnant with Alex when I was on Ortho Tri Lo, even though I took it correctly. I'm not worried about it at all. He says that since I talk about wanting more babies someday, then of course I am going to trick him into having more! Well, that's where the trust issue was at, I guess. We talked about it a bit more, and I hope he realized how silly he sounded. I do talk about wanting more someday, but who doesn't?? That doesn't mean I am going to purposely get pregnant! So we discussed that, and I am still on for my appointment this Thursday at 9:30! Go Yaz!