[Bringingmysexyback]

Dear Diary
(and anyone who reads this)
I am a single black female with so many things that I want to accomplish. I see so many things in my grasp but once I start getting the ball running or actually doing things it seems so hard. Like right now I want to lose about 80 pounds and I don't even know how I m going to do this. I am trying this beyonce cleanser diet. This is my first day and I am already noticing how hard this is I constantly say to myself I can do this just think of how much you wanna lose weight.
And when i say i have so much I wanna do I want to be a millionaire!!! I am going to be one I just don't know how. I wanna be a model i wanna go on america's next top model and be the first plus size woman to take it home. First things first i gotta lose weight. I refuse to play myself and go on national t v and think i m gonna be a supermodel looking this way. I need to do this not just for myself but for my daughter. Also for the day i can look her daddy in the eyes with so much happiness because i did it without him. Look at me I am more than you ever thought i was and i bet you mad at yourself now.
I want to have that one day anyways i guess everybody thinks of what they want in life and how to do it I m just more of a visual person and that helps me to stay focused. So until i get a pretty little journal and have made some progress I guess i'll follow suit and bear my soul on the internet.
I know this will happen because I got nothing to lose and so much to gain. I have to make my daughter proud of me.
GOD be my rock.
June 5 3:21 pm

[MiaCamille]

Good luck to you and keep those dreams alive!

[Bringingmysexyback]

Thank you so much and those are some beautiful children

[Bringingmysexyback]

Dear Diary
Today was an okay day, I am trying my best on this master cleanse diet and I was not successful yesterday but today will be successful no matter what I will not eat. For anyone who does not know its a fasting diet.
Last night was crazy I sat up and thought of how much the father of my child has tried to ruin my life and that motivates me even more. I love the man but he really is trifling and a low life. If i had my way in the world I would erase him from my life even the memory of his and simply have my daughter but life does not work that way.
I am still single unfortunatlely and I think that I maybe run men away because my heart has been broken in so many places I wonder can my heart ever be whole again. I feel like I can never trust another man. Every time I try and trust someone I get stabbed in the back or betrayed. That s exactly what he did betrayed me. Anyways what goes around comes around like Justin Timberlake songs says.
FYI that s his ring tone and I can't wait for him to get his because he definitely deserves whats coming to him in life.
6/6/2007
6:28pm

[JeanLynn81]

You are so awesome! Thanks for starting this diary to share with us. I too, am a single mother. My daughter's father is a real jerk, but I am fortunate enough to have him out of my life. I can't imagine having to put up with him, and share the parental decisions! Stay strong girl!

I hear you, also, on not trusting men. And I don't even think its about not trusting them, so much as not trusting myself. I haven't even been on a date since my daughter was born! But that's okay. I need this time to myself, as I suspect you do too. Enjoy the single life with me! Hurray!

[swt1899]

Hey girl, where are you from? I lost 32 pounds a year ago. I had had some weight issues. My biggest enemy was my husband's diet! He was the king of pizza, sweets, burger king, etc! Finally after many tries of dieting and getting no where I told him that things had to change. He was worried about my snoring (which was getting worse), allergies, and clothes that were getting smaller and smaller for me!
He did a big favor for me... he called Quick Weight Loss Centers of Houston. Scheduled a meeting (which I was too embarassed to do) and I began the diet program. Surprisingly it was not what I had expected. I ate regular foods, but fresher and more balanced diets. low carbs, more protein, fresh fruits and veggies, etc. It worked great! I lost the weight and feel so much better. I had always been a skeptical person who always gave up easily on weight. But if I can do it anyone can.
Also I got into Sheila Kelley's S Factor. I joined the classes... it's a lot like pilates/yoga/ego trip. I feel so god after I go. Here's the site... www.sfactor.com. All kinds of women go there.... all sizes, shapes, colors, moms, grandmothers, etc. It's fabulous. They also have videos you can buy and do at home. just an fyi.
Keep up the good work. You can do it!
If you need help on this subject, let me know. I'll be here.

[mamaip]

I'm so glad you posted your story. I'm Cathy, and I used to blog for Families.com. I started the original Diary of an Overweight Mom, and I can tell you--it was one of the best things I did. So many women jumped on board to tell me their stories, and together we discussed (and still do--check out the Diary of an Overweight Mom forum) the TRUTH about weight loss, etc. It's been very uplifting. I'm proud of you for taking the first step toward losing the weight you want to lose. And I'm doubly proud of you for sharing your journey with others, who are undoubtedly in similar situations are you are. If I may, I just want to caution you. I know the fasting diet is a good way for some people to cleanse their system and prepare their bodies for losing weight...but it doesn't work for me. Why? Because I cave each time I try to do it. And the result is that I wind up eating more than I would if I didn't try it in the first place. I won't tell you which miracle diet does work, because in truth, there is no miracle diet, but I do think that starting out slowly, adding one new element at a time, works best. For instance, what if you start tomorrow by committing to drink 8 glasses of water. Continue that for a few days and change nothing else. Then say you'll exercise for 20 minutes four times a week (try the Walk Away the Pounds videos if you can't get to the gym...they're low-impact, inexpensive, and GREAT), then perhaps say you won't eat carbohydrates (bread, rice, potatoes) after 3pm. Just change those three things and see what happens. You may not have to do anything drastic after all! After that you could start adding 1-2 servings of fruit and vegetables to every meal...get the idea? I'm not an expert...but I did lose almost 30 pounds so far, and the one thing I know is that drastic diets are just a futile effort, and when you break them (because you have to--because you're human) you wind up feeling horrible. Good luck to you--you can do this!!!!!!!

[mamaip]

PS
From your story, it appears you've been through alot of pain recently. I'm so sorry, but am proud of you for taking this step to enhance your own life. Remember--in order to lose the weight on the outside, you need to be healthy on the inside--body image and self image often go hand in hand. So make sure, while you're trying to lose weight, that you also focus on YOU...the inner you...the spiritual or emotional you...take care of the inside and you'll see results on the outside. I'm sorry you were hurt.

[Bringingmysexyback]

Thanks for the response Jean you made me cry seriously.
Dear Diary,
Today was a good day for me so far I realized that on this cleansing diet so far I have lost 5 or more pounds. I feel so good thinking of me getting skinny and my body back and even a better body before I got pregnant in the first place. Tonight I plan on doing some sit ups and push ups and stuff. I really don't think I am gonna do this cleanse fro 14 days because me without food for fourteen days just seems unreal. I have to eat. But I am glad to know that I have lost some weight. I have 90pounds to go I gained I think like 50 pounds during my pregnancy and after I had my daughter I lost 15 or 20 pounds. My baby girls' first birthday is coming up soon and I can not look like this. I want me and her to have on matching colors not outfits because I don't that s cute anymore.
Of course I am trying to enjoy my single life but lets just be honest the vi****or cannot hold me at night. Anyways even though I have been done wrong I will wait for the man of my dreams i just want him to hurry up.
6/7/2007
5:45

[JeanLynn81]

Aw, didn't mean to make you cry! But I'm glad we do have things in common. You say you want to lose almost 100lbs? I lost about that before I had my daughter. (In fact, two weeks after I FINALLY fit in a single digit-size 8, all the way from size 24, I found out I was pregnant-go figure!) Now I am in a size 10/12 (depends on the pants) and I'd like to reach that single size goal again. But weight is so much harder to get off after a baby! Just remember, its better to go by inches lost, not pounds. One person could lose 20lbs and 2 sizes, and another will lose only 5lbs to drop 2 sizes. And its alot more exciting to try on smaller clothes that fit, than to step on a scale!

Good luck on your journey!