[altland]

I am thinking about going back to work. Which means, I will have to put my 9 month old in daycare. This seams so young to me. I just can't wrap my head around it. I always thought that when they were old enough to talk and understand what was going on, then I would put him in. Maybe around 3, which is what I did with my daughter. But our finances are depanding differently.

My question is this: How did the babies react? And how did you deal with it?
Thanks for your advice.

[MJ7]

I'm so sorry for your situation. Is it possible to just take a part time job that way you can spend a bit more time with your baby? 9 mo is really young. I know it must be a difficult decision to make though . Is it possible for your baby to stay with a grandparent or someone they are familiar with or in a familiar surrounding? If they had the option to nap in their own crib, that might help too. Babies can get sick (well anywhere, but especially) in daycares. I know it can build the immune system up, yada-yada-yada, but will this effect your abilty to do your job if you have to take time off with an ill baby? Such tough decisions. I wish you the best.

[pattiewrites]

The only time my little ones went to day care is when I was director. My oldest came to work with me at about 14 months old. Before this time, I paid a friend to watch her at home, since I thought she was too small. My 2nd one didn't go until she was 3 1/2, prior to that, I was teaching elementary school and paid a private sitter to watch her. My 3rd came to day care at 11 months when I took a new job after being home for a little over a year. She got sick a LOT. I mean constantly. I was getting to know my pediatrician way too well and missing a lot of work. Unfortunately, parents bring sick kids to day care and it spreads. In two months she had: 2 ear infections, a stomach virus, chicken pox (even though she was vaxed for it) and strep. She also got lots of colds, which triggered her asthma. After that, I quit my job and started working from home. I couldn't take it anymore. She has only been sick once in the year and a half I've been working from home.

If you find a good daycare with a small child to staff ratio, it can be fine. Make sure the owner sticks to the illness policy. The owner of our daycare was not very good at this and the kids were always sick. Look into home daycare or a babysitter at home. This may not be much more expensive and since there are fewer kids, your baby won't get sick as much. If you go with a commercial day care, go with a smaller one with less kids. A smaller number of kids means less germs to go around.

Good luck finding a good situation for you and your child!

[writerchick]

I had an ideal situation. I found another mom with a child my daughter's age and she watched her in her home. This was so much better than a daycare situation, because my daughter was treated just like part of the family. And it also worked out for her, because she needed the extra income and didn't want to leave her child, so it was win-win. I would look for something like this before I would put my child in a daycare. I used to work in one when I was a teenager, and even though that was a long time ago, I'm not sure things have changed much. One day they were short-handed and put me in charge of four babies (I usually had 8 four-year-olds). I had never changed a diaper before in my life. I got through it, but I remember thinking that I didn't want some teenager to change her first diaper on MY baby.

[scrapbookguru]

Well, I was a SAHM for most of my kids early childhood, but I also worked at a preschool for three years that I was able to take them with me.

Honestly your answers are going to depend entirely on the child care center, the type of employee's they have working there and the quality of care they provide (as well as the child's personality).

Be sure you check out any place THOROUGHLY. If they seem annoyed that you just popped in, or any of the teacher's seem overly stressed, this can sometimes be really bad signs from the get-go.

Try to get a feel for the relationship dynamics within the walls of the child care center, both with the children vs adults as well as adults vs adults (and it wouldn't hurt to pay attention to the children vs children as well).

You can tell a lot by a little observation (you can certainly see by the children's reaction to a teacher how FAKE she is being for your benefit. )Just keep your eyes open and ask questions when you need to!

Best wishes to you and your little one (also might want to try a home day care - sometimes just a better environment for the really little ones).

[altland]

I still haven't completely decided what to do yet. The original plan was for me to write and do bookkeeping from the house. I have sent out some writing applications and samples plus I was talking to a company about taking over all of their bookkeeping, but nothing is happening fast enough.
I had my grandparents watch my first daughter. They were wonderful, but I have moved 1000 miles away and they aren't an option. I missed out on a lot of her growing because I was working 60+ hours a week. I realized that much more now that I am home with this baby. I just don't want to give that up again. But bills have to be paid. So again I am left with a huge dilemma. I keep hoping something turns up soon.

[MJ7]

Altland, I'm sure you have evaluated your bills, but are there anythings you are able to maybe cut back on? I'm sure you've BTDT. We cut back a lot initially so I'd be able to remain home and I know it's hard. Would you be open to finding a job in a daycare that way you could be with your child too? It might be a great way to get to know other moms too. I hope you come up with a good solution as I know it must be hard.

[mamaip]

I believe that putting your child in daycare for the first time can be traumatic on a parent regardless of the child's age. It's so hard to make choices as a parent. Sometimes we are forced to put our kids in daycare because we have to financially. Other times, we may want to work outside the home, and daycare is the logical solution. Either way, parenting is a tough job, and I wish you all the luck in making your choices. I'll look into this issue though, regarding age, etc. and try to post a Blog in BABY soon.

[J920]

At three months my baby stayed with her grandmother and at 6 months, she went into daycare.
Actually its worked out well, so far.
My daughter has yet to get sick, and she interacts with other babies which I feel
she learns a lot from.
She is happy when I drop her off and when I pick her up.
The key is to find a place u like and then just go on the baby's reaction. (ofcourse research!!!!)
If the baby is happy and healthy then thats what matters, you as an adult will get over your "trauma". I wont advise u stay home or do part time work bc it seems that is not an option for your family and u going back to work is a response to some family need, so dont feel guilty if u cant stay at home.
There are pros and cons to daycare and other SAHM.
But for me
The benefit of a daycare if you find the right one is that you PAY them to take care of YOUR baby and their job is to listen to you, whereas with family or even other SAHM get defensive or act as if they are doing u a favor when you correct them or ask them questions.
Before putting my baby into daycare, I went to a lady who took care of kids out of her home. And it turned out she told ME she wasnt going to take care of my baby bc I asked too many questions. .
I asked her if she had a lot of people or friends of her teenage daugther in and out of the house a lot.
She got offended by that. So that is what I mean, I didnt know her from Adam, and she wanted me to leave her my baby no questions asked, on word of mouth alone. It was surreal. how can u ask too many questions?

[shanaynay32]

First, let me tell you if you are contemplating going back because of money or dissability running out....there is a new type of dissability act after post partum. Ask your doctor about the one that helps you get to know a child, or new family member. It is for adoptive parents, parents who are still trying to relate to their child, etc.

Second, if you dont have to go back then dont! A child's best development happens from birth to about 6years of age. 9mos, means the child is still loving on you. Cant talk? Cant walk? Makes me feel uncomfortable.

My husband and I choose to lead a very simple life to avoid daycare. We trade work shifts.

Hope this helps. Goodluck.