[lavatea]

Ok, so I want a large family. I would really love five or six kids, but Aaron is dead set against that many, so I've pushed it down to four. My family is not at all supportive of this. I come from a family that has been smaller family units for several generations, and we're not very well-off, so they just don't get it and also worry about the expense.

I have recently gone back to school, and our finances have been pretty shaky since last September and have crashed since March or so. We paid off as much debt as we could with our income tax return, but all other unsecured debts have fallen behind. We let Aaron's truck go back to the bank, and we've borrowed a fair amount of money here and there from relatives to make rent, electricity, etc. over the past 6 months or so.

Aiden and Amelie are spaced just slightly over three years apart. Aaron and I want our kids to be spaced somewhat close together. I have been thinking lately that we should start trying for number three when Aiden is about 18 mos. old.

My sister is pretty supportive of me even though she thinks I'm crazy for wanting more kids. So tonight, just making conversation, I told her what I had been thinking. I told her that if we got back on top of our bills by January, I was thinking that Aaron and I would start trying for number three. She got all quiet and a little perturbed looking. So I asked her what the deal was, and she said, "I think that if you think you're able to support another kid, then you don't need anymore help from me". She said that even if we are making it by January, who's to say that we won't fall behind three months after that.

I was floored. I wasn't expecting that reaction from her at all. I have borrowed some money from her in the past few months. She had to take out student loans to cover both this semester and next, so she has extra money right now. So I know she's worried about getting that money back, but at the same time, I had loaned her money (when I didn't really have it to loan) several months in a row before she got her loan money (so it's been a back and forth thing). Anyway, I don't feel as if I'm taking advantage of her financially, and that's almost how she acted.

I'm all for being as financially stable as possible before having more kids, but I also believe you can't wait for the "perfect" time in your life to have kids because you could always be more ahead of the bills or be farther in your career or have a bigger house or whatever. I am two years from finishing my degree (BS in nursing). Aaron is currently waiting tables (although we're trying to find him a better job) and has no career plan at this point.

Am I crazy for wanting to start trying for number three soon? What has your experience been when planning your kids? How do you balance what your family wants/expects vs. what you want - especially if you're pretty close with them?