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i agree with pp's.
she needs solid proof of these things. however are they really going to withdraw custody or visitation? no, probably not. the only thing i can see that a judge would say "hmm" to is the diapers, but who can really say that's never happened to them during one hectic morning? food & childproofing can be fixed in one trip to the store. the smoking, while sucks, is not justifiable enough to change visitation, especially since they go outside. and what does bathing regularly classify to her as? we bathe izzy every other night, but sometimes we'll skip and she'll get it on the 3rd day.
the best route would probably be to just open up some better communication with her ex husband. pack healthy food & snacks with the kids' bags and extra diapers -- will probably get the message across. while i would be p.o-ed about the diaper, i gotta be completely honest - it sounds morelike a classic divorce couple who are looking for things to pick at eachother with than actual neglect.
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