[tmwhalens]

A couple of people here know my 'situation'. The primary thing surrounding my circumstances is that I am transgendered. Tonight my aunt and I were talking. I do not know why I keep talking to that woman. All my life she has been very critical of anything I do or say. She is very opinioated and never agrees with anything I do or say unless it suits her agenda. Anyway, I was talking about my career dreams. I want to be a nurse. I've thought about teaching, accounting, other fields, but I always come back to nursing. I was telling her how I need to take the CNA training course to get going, and she says "I wouldn't worry about that right now, that's so far off....". She then says, and I kid you not, "I just can't see you as a CNA or nurse. That is so intimate and personal. I know I wouldn't want someone transgendered taking care of me". I really didn't know what to say to her, other than "You have never seen me work as a CNA before, so you have no right to make that kind of judgement". I was getting pretty upset at this point, and I left (came back in about five minutes), saying "That's the trouble with this family, you all are always telling me what I can and can not do with my dreams. You should consider that." As I was leaving she start yelling about something and I was just tuning her out. Have any of you all had family members that are unsupportive of your career dreams, like my family is with me? Do families realize how much damage they do to a young person's self-esteem and, quite possibly, their future success and happiness when they are constantly shooting the child down with "You can't do this, you can't do that". I mean, in my case, why can't my family just say "Go get'em, tiger! You do what makes you happy!" ???

[lynclarke]

tmwhalens- You know, sometimes you have to stop talking and start doing. What difference does it make what other people think you are capable of doing? You have to develop enough self drive to spur yourself into action.

I do not think that your problem is the transgender issue but rather you leaning on others for a cheering section. Few families act like Bill Cosby's family. The rest of us our stuck with reality- we plod along from day to day with only ourselves to encourage us. Do you want something? Then you must set a goal, assign a time line, and pick off the first action today.

[ShannonGB]

If your family won't give you encouragement, certainly there are others who might appreciate you? I for one would like to see you successful, I believe others here share the same sentiment. Just think of it this way, wouldn't you be doubly satisfied if you did make it as a nurse, seeing that you were able to prove naysayers they were wrong all along? Personally, I like to look at discouraging remarks and criticisms as "fuel for the fire", meaning that it makes me angry enough to fight for what I really want.

Go get em Tiger!

[browneyes01]

[quote=lynclarke]tmwhalens- You know, sometimes you have to stop talking and start doing. What difference does it make what other people think you are capable of doing? You have to develop enough self drive to spur yourself into action. I agree with this post at the end of the day it's what you want to do and what makes you happy.

[Samual]

It depends on the person, obviously I do things that my family don't agree with, but then my family also do things I do not agree with. But then there are people who are, it is my way, or the highway. Franks mother for example, anything he wanted to do, or any ambitions, were considered by her either a complete waste of time, or he was too stupid to be able to achieve anything. So he rubbed some salt in her wounds when he moved out, went to uni and became a social worker, thankfully for Frank it is now as though she no longer exists.

[tmwhalens]

Thanks you all, ALL of you, for the kind comments. Today I realized, maybe for the first time, that I have really low self-esteem and that I am emotionally dependent on others. I want that to stop. I have vowed to find a way to get the money needed for CNA training, become a CNA then start taking the classes necessary to take the state board to be a nurse. I can't imagine that many of the people around me that are discounting everything I am saying, are really saying "Show me you can walk the talk!". By following my dreams, that's exactly what I will do, though. I think I have a lot to offer to patients. Today I went to a job fair at a healthcare center in Lexington. After the interview (there were A LOT of applicants so my chances of getting any job there are slim) the recruiter really seemed to notice my passion in caring for others.

[lynclarke]

tmwhalens- I have been a RN for 32 years. Caring about people is one of the least qualifying factors for a health care worker. The important qualities for any GOOD health care worker are self starter, attention to detail, honesty, ability to focus regardless of the surrounding chaos, ability to prioritize, self confidence, detailed science focus, high energy, good math, computer, and motor dexterity, and the ability to deal with the unknown. The health care worker who is looking for appreciation from others or a pat on the back will not stay in the business very long.
If you love the discovery channel and then research the topics independently on the internet after you see a show, then you may be a science oriented person. If you just like to visit with people and disccuss their problems then you are probably a person with high empathy. Empathy is a great skill for people in management, counseling, or working with children.

[tmwhalens]

lyne, low self-esteem is something that I have a problem with. I am getting 'better' in that area to be sure. Being able to rise out of the mess I was in just over a month ago, has really helped me to realize that I am a special person with special talents. Wanting approval or a pat on a back was a real problem for me in the past, but I am getting to the point now where I KNOW when I am doing a good job or not. I know what pain is, and what it is like. Physcial and emotional abuse. Disorders and being aware of those disorders (sometimes it's worse to know why things are so difficult for you, after the fact). You name it.

Not only do I have high empathy for others, but I am too a science-oriented person. I'm always asking "why" or "what if" to just about everything I learn. It isn't enough for me for someone to just say "that's the way it works". So, yes, I watched Discovery Channel you can bet I would be on the Internet that night looking up that particular topic.

It is funny that you mentioned careers like counseling, because a really long-term goal of mine is to become a counselor, to share my wisdom at an old age.

I should mention that all the abilities and traits that you feel are more important than empathy, I have. This is why I feel I SHOULD be in nursing. I would not have nearly the problems that many of the nurses I saw working with my wife had.