[admin]

What do you think about spanking and other corporal punishment?

[breharb25]

I dont feel that it is necessary to spank or hit a child as punishment. I firmly believe that being direct with a child about a wrong-doing and explaining the situation in a manner that he or she will appreciate will go alot further than a spanking. I think we tend to forget that children learn by example and in this day and age it is better to teach them how to communicate about a matter rather than them learning to take 50 wacks for shaving the family dog. I think that depending on the age of the child and the severity of the wrong-doing a good talking to and suspension of a few privileges is usually punishment enough.

[babydawn]

I don't feel like it is always a necessary measure to spank, but I do it occasionally. My children know that if all else fails, they will get a spanking. They are few and far between. I give my children plenty of opportunity to NOT get a spanking. Like take my 4 year old. I could not get him to sit in a time out to save my life, until I told him that if he left the time out he would recieve a spanking. He usually doesn't leave time out any more. I do talk to my children about their poor decisions, and all kids learn and respond to dicipline in different ways. What works for one child, isn't going to work for another. Taking away priviledges for instance, I told my 6 year old that if he didn't get his toys picked up I would take them all away until he could keep his room clean. His reply was "Okay." He let me without any issues with it and found other non-toy things to play with for the next month. Another instance, my daughter told a HUGE lie at school one day. That our house had caught on fire and that the fire killed our dog. I got several phone calls after school that day. I made her call her friend and tell her that she had told a lie and then she had the choice to be grounded to her room for the rest of the day or get a spanking....she CHOSE the spanking. I do not, however, think that spankings should be given out of anger.

[beth]

Hi Babydawn, I think your last example regarding your daughter choosing a spanking over grounding is a textbook example of why spanking is not the best punishment option!! Even your little girl knows it! Much better to remove privileges and suffer/learn the consequences. As you say, all children are different, but even the slowest learners don't like missing out on things! Parenting can sometimes be the hardest job, eh?

[jgreene]

I vowed never to spank my children, but I ended up doing so when I couldn't deal with my daughter's (then 3) naughty behavior. May I add that I had just had another baby, I was exhausted and stressed out, and that my daughter was being quite obnoxious. Although I have spanked her (a swat on the bottom) at times since then, I still don't believe in spanking. I don't think it does any good, I think it violates something between parent and child, and I think it has more to do with the parent's anger than anything else.

Does anyone have any tips on handling anger and dealing with particularly difficult behavior?

[happimommaof2]

I beleive that there is nothing wrong with spanking. But I also beleive that there is a fine line between spanking and abuse. Some children need to be spanked when they are doing something seriously wrong. Some children do good with time out and talking to them but then there is some children that need a spanking. Here is my saying "TO EACH HIS OWN!" Doesnt the bible say "spare the rod spoil the child"
God Bless
Amanda

[litekepr]

I totally agree that spanking can be appropriate. I have a younger brother and NOTHING else worked on him. My parents only had to give me a disappointed look and I was devastated, but not my brother. There was no use to spanking him with a bare hand either. He's actually still pretty hard headed
But, on the other hand, I also know parents who go too far. Leaving welts from spanking and blisters etc is unnecessary. If the child misbehaves that much, then the parents need to explore other possibilities.
Nikki

[cocotbo]

I'm going out on a limb here. I believe in spanking.
When a child is very young and doesn't speak the language yet, you just can't sit them down and converse with them about why they shouldn't do something that is dangerous. Sometimes a swat on the bum is the only way that they'll understand that there are unpleasant or dangerous ramifications to their actions.

[markbarnes19]

In general we don't believe in spanking. This is not to say that we never spank our children. Our rule is this: if the child is hurting another person or himself or herself, we will spank, because of the severity of the issue. For minor transgressions, we believe in using timeout and taking toys away. We always follow up any punishment with an explanation, including the right way to do things.

[mcmama]

That makes sense to me. Sometimes it is an immediate intervention which gets the child's attention. Generally, the benfits of spanking I have found are very short lived. They have to know why.