[jd1331]

We have had our beautiful baby boy for over a month. The birthmother has surrendered her rights, and while we do not know who the birthfather is we have ruled out via DNA the current and past boyfriend. My son is absolutely wonderful, and I cannot imagine life without him.
My dreams lately have been different but each with the same theme, I dream that his birthmother has taken him back. I wake up crying, and generally feel antsy every time I have one of these dreams. I know that they are my fears manifested in the dreams. Does the anxiety, no matter how irrational, ever go away?

[ceejay1]

Lacey, your son is absolutely adorable. I cannot speak as a mother who adopted,but as a mom whom reliquished. I had nightly dreams and panic attacks for the first year and past. They were my twin sons crying for me...they just kept crying like I could not get to them. They finally diminished, leaving me with 22 yrs of not knowing where they are. I have no pics the parents did not keep to the agency rules to send pics avery so often. So I think it is similar in the way we are afraid of losing this precious gift from GOD. If the adoption is final, you have no worries. I do have one favor to ask...if you have given your word to the 1st mom to send updates...please keep your word. I still after8,163 days live in total grief. Yes I have gone on and have a wonderful life and I can only hope their parents raised them with open and honest..true, integrity, please do the same , as I know you will. Love your child and instead of worrying about these dreams,you are missing out on what is real....a beautiful baby! GOD BLESS you and your family

[jd1331]

Ceejay1,
While the adoption is not final, his 1st mom relinquished her rights, so it is just a matter ** the waiting period for the state. We talked to his 1st mom at length and she was adamant about not wanting photos or updates. We have decided, however, to make a duplicate photo album ** his first year and will do so going forward so that when they meet she will have all ** the photos ** his life.
I cannot imagine how hard it must be to have been promised updates and never have received them. It's not fair to you at all. I'm so very sorry.

[MissyChrissy]

I can't speak from experience of adoption, but as a mother there is always something to worry about. I hope with time this particular anxiety does lesson for you and eventually goes away. I would think that it's a totally normal fear-especially given everything we hear about in the news about adoptions gone wrong.

It's also important to remember we really only hear about the horror stories. I'm sure you're away many, many more adoptions go through successfully and without a hitch. (((HUGS))) and I wish you all the best.

[Samual]

Yeah, it is not exactly a nice time, even when you have successfully been through it a few times. Our youngest is not totally adopted yet as the birth father still hasn't been found, as her mum seems to be the town bike. I doubt many go through it without feeling scared and worried.