[LeanyBean]

I've been having a handful of re-occuring dreams as of late. All of which I am pregnant or have more children than I do now and my hubby is long dead. Only one of the dreams provides a manner of death for DH - horrific car accident. All of which family and friends are annoyed that I am not out there trying to find a new spouse. When a I awake after these dreams I feel far from rested regardless how long I slept. I really should write these dreams down in my private journal. Then they might start ceasing to exist or maybe give me some insight as to why I keep having them. I'm starting to feel that someone or something is trying to tell me something. What? I just don't know.

For about as long as I have been having these dreams my body has been sending me signals that it has sent in the past when I was pregnant. I'm more irritable, less interested in sex, my sleep patterns becoming erratic, the need to go bra shopping and discover the right size all over again. Thing is I should never get pregnant again. 1 in 10,000 chance at the very best. I am snipped, hubby is snipped, and of course these things have failure rates plus we are both right around 30. Neither of us have had any follow up testing to prove our surgeries were highly successful. I assume such because things have changed regarding his . . um . . product quality. And I haven't fallen pregnant even though we do not use any type of contraceptive. Yet I have put on about 5-10 pounds without any change in eating or activity habits and my instict is telling me that maybe just maybe I am preggers. Then again my cycle has been . . let's say . . more than regular. I was every 28 days on the dot and now it's every 25 days. But still I'm having a cycle. This then kicks in the memory of being told my maternal grandmother had a cycle every month for the first 5 months of one of her 7 pregnancies. So my body and mind are in a game of deception with me.

I have been subltely (sp?) placing one liner suggestions about having more kids into conversations a lot over the past 6 months or so. Usually my hubby makes smartbutt responses or rolls his eyes. Yesterday when I did this he smiled, winked, said "Can you promise those ones will be good?" and kissed me. This is a major difference for him. Normally it's a no resonse. Absolutely NO actually. I have yet to re-approach this topic with him. I know if I ask him what exactly he meant by that answer it will lead to a conversation I'm not sure I am ready to have. After all he said only 4 kids for us and when I was pregnant with Gabriel I was uber-b***hy and had no patience for anyone or anything. So the day after Gabe's birth I had my surgery. 6 weeks later he had his surgery. I figured that I couldn't expect him to be the only one to go under the knife. It just wasn't fair. And our relationship is 50/50. Always has been and always will be. I digress.

Between these odd dreams and odd prego like psychological symptoms and hubby's odd responses, I'm going about half crazy. I'm curious if i'm the only nutjob (hubby's diagnosis of me as of late) on this forum with these kinds of issues or not. Any input or advice or similar stories are always welcomed. Thanks for listening.

[QueenAngie]

If the dreams are bothering you, journal them on pen & paper or your puter file.
Doing this will help get them out of your head.

A new road opened along w/ several poorly timed stop lights. I had to take this daily to and from the boys' school (a few years back).
I'd had a severe dream that we were in a bad car wreck on this stretch of the road.
I'd awaken, braking with my right foot with all its worth, trying to avoid the wrecks.
It was really scary.

It did provide me to be more careful in driving this new stretch of road,
and a better driver.


Why not POA? Get one at the Dollar Store.
I can recall reading an article about a couple, very fertile,
that she had her tubes tied,
he had a vasectomy,
they still used birth control,
and she gave birth to a healthy baby. Surprise!
They documented that this baby was meant to be born.

Rest easy tonight!

[LeanyBean]

Thanks, Angie!

[DK615617]

Angie said it best!!!

[mollymae]

Is it possible you could have thyriod problem?

[LeanyBean]

I consulted a dream journal and found some interesting answers that only scare me more.

Death of a loved one generally means that something has significantly changed in your relationship with that person. ~~ This scares me because DH is going through some health issues and I am beginning to feel overwhelmed. I worry so much about what is going to happen next. The waiting is killing me. He was diagnosed with severe obstructive sleep apnea just over six years ago. Since then he has been using a C-Pap as well as having his tonsils out and his uvula and about half of his soft palate. He needs to go have a new sleep study done so he can get his prescription reactivated to get a new machine. His is falling apart. Recently, several months ago now I guess, he hurt his knee at work. Being a work comp issue he has to go to a doctor other than his own. It took 2 months from the injury to have an MRI done which confirmed he tore his cartilage and his MCL. They have given him a cortisone shot which helped but not to the doc's liking. They still aren't sure if they want to pursue surgery. We'll know more in early July. My youngest sister went through the same surgery last summer and I know what kind of rehab comes after it. With 4 kids on summer vacation and the medical leave pay, we'll have to tighten up the budget some more and I'm not sure we can do that. Which turns us to what being pregnant in a dream generally means - - - Full of new experieinces and/or possibilities and occasionally the strong desire to be pregnant. Beautiful!!! Probably means that I'll become the major breadwinner and I am not looking forward to trying to find a job in this market with such little work experience or actual workable skills. It really doesn't help that I am severely brooding. I want more kids terribly badly but we just can't. (Both of us snipped, DH definitely not wanting more, no way we could afford reversal surgeries or other fertility methods, no way to afford adoption and due to other misunderstood situations in the past I cannot get the clearances to become a foster parent.) I guess it doesn't help that either today or tomorrow my DH becomes an uncle again and it October I'll be an aunt for the first time.

I still haven't approached the answer DH gave me. I'm just not ready for it I guess.

I suppose we'll just have to wait and see where life takes us in the next few months.

[purelegance]

leany, i think you need a vacation! honey, you're stressed! DH tore his MCL when i was 8 months preggo with DD, he did the shots and everything else, nothing really helps. even after the surgery, it'll never be what it was & he'll still have pain (this as told to us by DH's doctor), which is why DH opted against it. (plus, the last thing i needed was a grown baby as well as a newborn!)

[Labhaoise]

Woah.. I hate scary dreams, I had one really vivid one that my dad had died and I remember waking up actually crying! really scared me... he is completely fine btw & the dream was when I was only 8 or so, but I still remember it because it was so scary. I can only imagine what it's like to go through it constantly.

I relation to your husbands knee... I did my ACL (late last year and they were able to put in an artificial ligament as opposed to using tendons etc... maybe this could be a possibility if surgery is going to happen. I don't know though if it's possible to use the LARS ligament for a torn MCL though since it's a completely different injury to what I had. But if you google the LARS Ligament.. and do some research maybe it is an option. I recovered so much quicker than I would have with the other surgery, and it feels so much better than it was even before the injury.

I really hope that those horrible nightmares go away, and that you find a peace about everything that's going on! I agree with Amber too though... you sound like you could really use a good holiday!

[mcmama]

I'm with angie. POAS and get it over with.

We dream all kinds of weird things, and it has to do with the chemistry in our bodies, our brains, and not a warning of death, destruction, etc.

I have had the dreams that aren't really dreams - I dream of a presence with my house, a familiar presence, and I wake to discover that someone has died - and I know who came back for them and stopped by to say bye for now. My mom did that for my aunt, and I think my aunt did that for a friend of hers.

But when I had my hyster and was on the pain pump, I dreamed TERRIBLE things, that were just ghastly and had NOTHING to do with anything real. You had better believe I discontinued that pain pump right away.

Something is going on with your brain - stress, worry, or hormones.

As far as the tubes tied - I know someone who had hers tied after two kids, and then 18 months later she had twins.

There could be other things going on with you too - be sure to go to your doctor and have yourself thoroughly checked out.

[jkl123]

My 2 cents...

You want more kids. Explains the dreams. Explains the pschyological 'symptoms'. Your dream journal telling you that death of a loved one means your relationship has changed could mean that maybe , just maybe, you resent your DH for not being in the same boat as you and wanting more. You may even resent the fact that he 'can't ' because he's snipped (even though you may not consciencely think this). My advice is to either talk to DH and figure out how you can reverse your procedures (if he changes his mind about no-kids), or seek some counseling to come to terms with the fact you won't be having anymore.