Drugs and boyfriend.
Drugs and boyfriend.
My fiancee has two children as do I. Mine are boy 17, girl 18, hers are girl 16, girl 17. We share a house together. Given the age of our "children" and the resentment issues that would arise, I don't want to "parent" her children and I would like her to not "parent" mine. Please understand that I am always available to give advice or help out with them when necessary, but I will not discipline or demand anything of them that falls outside of "House Rules"
Her 17 year old daughter ( who will be 18 in a month) has a boyfriend who was just released from a week in jail for Oxycontin and Mushrooms. First it was explained to me that he was selling and then I was told he was using it. I guess the Police report will present the real picture. He has yet to appear in court for this matter.
I don't know anything about this guy. He's 18 had a tough home life and I believe he still lives at home.
Well on Saturday I find out he's hanging out at our house with my fiancees daughter, we'll just call her "Goofy", watching DVDs. When I heard this I called my fiancee and told her to give him the boot and get him out of our house.
My fiancee explains to me that she thinks I'm being too harsh and tells me that he didn't have anything to do with drugs while in our home and isn't involved with them anymore. I explain that since he was just released from jail on Thursday or Friday it was still hard to determine exactly what he is involved with. Still I don't want him in our house. She said she would talk to her daughter and ask him to leave.
I came home an hour later and he was still there chillin' on the couch with Goofy while my fiancee was chattin' with them. I got a little loud and insisted he leave. He leaves...so does Goofy. On the way out Goofy asks me "Are you happy now???" and storms out as I shout "to get a drug dealer out of my house...YEAH!!!"
My fiancee now thinks it was not a good decision to kick him out. Her daughter is gone and says she won't be back.
My take on this? Yes, I should have calmly discussed the matter with my Fiancee and not been so demanding that she tell him to leave. Ultimately my future step daughter now knows that I was the driving force behind her boyfriend leaving so I am the bad guy in her eyes. Not that this really bothers me as I didn't "parent" her, I just did what I thought was best for the house MY kids and I live in. So, am I wrong here?
I was rash and we did not present a "united front". I realize that this was inapproriate. I guess I was just amazed that nobody saw the situation as I did. Probably paranoid but what if this guy sold somebody drugs and they overdosed? His buddies come looking for him and he's at my house? Or he needs some quick cash so he rips me off? Or he gets messed up, freaks out and??? Or the cops arrest him dealing at my house? What if he tries to make French Toast ala Stoned and burns the house down?
Your advice and opinions are appreciated.
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