[skidoo_grl]

I was in the history looking for a baby site i was on the other day, as I couldn't remember the site and I came across some sites that I have never seen before. I clicked on one of them and it brought me to a profile on a.. dating site I guess you would call it for my husband. I also discovered an email address of his that I didn't know he had. I am, at this point.. becoming jealous and angered with him. I snooped some more, got the password to the email account and found that he is on three other singles sites, none have profiles filled out completely. One I had deleted the information in the past, as he claimed he couldn't close the account(he had it before we got together). He is still using that account, he reactivated it. I also found while on that site that the day we were to go to out OB appointment, that he had been talking to another girl. I am 4 months pregnant with our 2nd child, I lose the 1st, and now have a stitch in my cervix to keep this baby in, and due to that we cannot have sex, which for us is a big deal... could he be looking to fill that void else where??? Help... please...

[Possibility_girl]

talk talk talk talk , and see a counselor, im sure sex has alot to do with it but you need to talk and get really deep in to your feelings. dont gloss it over, go deep, dont be afraid to upset him, what he is doing is wrong.

[QueenAngie]

Congrats on your pregnancy! You must be very excited!

You and DH need to talk and see a counselor.
Better to get things ironed out before a baby comes into the world.

Wishing you all the best!

[1stTimeMomOf2]

I totally agree that you need to talk. Confront him about what you found and be honest with him. You weren't initially seeking out to find this stuff, you just happened to find it while looking for something else and decided to dig deeper. No fault there. I'm sure his natural reaction will be to get defensive and deny everything, just let him cool off and tell him that you're interested in talking to him further about his motivations for this behavior. And stick with it, if you aren't persistent then you won't get your answers I don't think you can get him into counseling if he feels he's done nothing wrong or denys doing anything. But- just maybe you can if you tell him that you need it to make you feel better and to help you regain your trust in him. Hopefully he feels like he may lose you (even if you're willing to forgive him) and he'll straighten up.
Good luck.

[skidoo_grl]

..I guess I really don't know where to begin. I haven't said anything to him, I was kind of hoping it would all just disappear like a bad dream. Ha! I came home sick from work yesterday, and he was crabby because he couldn't get on the computer because the mouse wasn't working.(??) I had gone to bed before him, and he was on the computer playing games. (The mouse needed a new battery!) I came out of our room about an hour later to see why he wasn't in bed yet, and well, he didn't hear me behind him, and I seen he was on one of those dating sites AND he was talking to someone, but I didn't see more then that. It startled him. He was nervous. I don't know if he knows I seen anything, but he should. When he finally came to bed (20mins later) he was all lovey dovey and wanting to cuddle. I gave him the cold shoulder. I didn't go in to work today, because I am still sick. And being nosy from knowing what I know. I found he has changed all his passwords, even the ones he told me about.
I am in a high risk pregnancy as it is, and feel I shouldn't have to go though all of this stress. He comes home for lunch in about 1.5 hrs. I have all the sites writen down, and thinking about going to stay at my moms, and leave him a letter explaining everything, seemed to work in the past.
Any advice would be great. And I do believe we need to talk to someone if he wants our marriage to work. Thank you!

[mcmama]

Ya know, these people who go on dating sites always think they are never going to get caught, or that somehow since it is just the internet they are not cheating. Well, they are. He's there instead of in bed with you. And the lack of sexual satisfaction is no excuse for a married man. Marriage has its ups and downs.

If he were intimate with you, attentive, etc, you could be doing sexy things together that don't involve actual intercourse. But you probably are not in the mood if he is behaving this way.

[mommytwo]

Somtimes we loose sight of our blessings, and need to stubble before we can soar!
I'm was right there with you, not too long ago... My husband sent me an e-mail to his site, called me to pick it up, while there I noticed a site had sent him a reply! I checked it out fully, his profile (one on one, discret relationships) and everything.. We've been married four years, one beautiful little boy who's now 3! i was besides my self, truely hurt and angry... I add my own profile to the site, and waited to see if he'd reply, a month went by I gave up... I finally asked him about it an he denied knowing anything said it was probable spam? So he deleted his account while I asked him about it. What to do? Talk; he deinieD everything, so I went on a fisihng expedition... A few weeks ago, he gets a phone message, yes I have become suspicious as his phone now has a code on it too, I figured it out and check it... The message came form a women, saying I though you were going for a drive what happened... I woke up!! I asked him, what it's all about he said it's some freak of a woman he knew before we were married and like twice a year she calls him, so I had him call her in front of me, he got her voice mail and yelled into the phone your making trouble don't call hear agian..I know there was something there, and I know he was obviously cheating in some way... I realized I probable never know the whole stoy, but then I asked him why, and he talked about our relationship and how he's been angry with me for along time, and we both opened up to our feeling...He hadn't touched me in two years, except for a peck of a kiss or a hug on the couch... I decided it was enough and threw him out one night after he supposedly was having dinner w/ his friends and the clocked rolled around to midnight and he wouldn't answer his phone, he wouldn't tell me where he was going? Since then I think he realized we either fight togeather to keep our marraige a happy heathy one or he's out...Well some time has passed with me distrusting him, checking his phone and yes he changed his pass word, but what he doesn't know is I know the new one, and will never let him know I know it. I don't like snooping, I don't like mistrusting my husband it hurts and useing up too much of my energy, causing me to resent, become angry, etc. but I hate being somebody's fool even more. I use to check it daily, but I'm slowly getting over the whole incident and trying to work on trustnig him again and believeing he loves me. As our relationship has change, we too have change... We now are kissing, loving, and sharing our thoughs and conversing again and the other day my DD said, I'm his princess and he loves me, though he'd tell me he love me often the tone was ouite diffrent and he hasn't siad I was his princess in nearly a year... We have lunchs togeather least once during the work week, date nights have begun again, were working togeather now that the anger in both our voices and the hurt is gone, alowing us to talk... He obviosly knows I'd been checking up on him because he would lie to me about where he was going, in the not to distant past and this mornig he said I lied to you Saturday night, about where I he was meeting his friend for a boys night out, I was happy to hear his honesty! I guess what I'm saying is don't dispare, yes you'll fight and argue, and it will be hard to trust again and not feel hurt, but when he realizes you Love him, things will begin to change on between both of you, it may not just be the sex, There are many reasons to be angry and caugt up with our emotions that we forget to truly listen and hear the others want, need and desires,,,... We can't choose who we love but we can change how we love!!! I wish you all the best, if all else fails there's a site that might help, (link removed by admin)like that it's not counseling, and you put the past behind you... it will lead you to other programs after the assement, take the test togeather.... Good Luck and Congradulation...

[mcmama]

And the spam just keeps on coming....

Really, you'd think Morty would hire someone who can spell, at least. I have seen his spam before. Does not speak well of him.

How do we "stubble" before we soar? (eww does that have to do with some of the weird shaving that goes on with those bizarre sites?)

You has change, or changed???

But for whatever it is worth, CONGRATULATIONS - since I don't know what "Congradulations" are.

[Labhaoise]

Originally Posted by mommytwo

We've been married four years, one beautiful little boy who's now 3!

Originally Posted by mommytwo

We now are kissing, loving, and sharing our thoughs and conversing again and the other day my DD said, I'm his princess and he loves me, though he'd tell me he love me often

lol, which one is it dear... a son or a daughter... or both?

How do we "stubble" before we soar? (eww does that have to do with some of the weird shaving that goes on with those bizarre sites?)

Janet, you crack me up sometimes...thanks for the laugh

[mcmama]

Like I said, next time Morty should make sure they can spell and write. And I'll kick them off again.