[poliscmjr]

I don't know what to do. I feel like all I do is either cry or talk about crying! It's been over 2 months since my nightmare began. My cousin got pregnant 3 weeks before we did and we were so excited to be pregnant together. Well I lost my bean and she still has heres. The nice thing is that she lives in CA so I don't have to see her everyday and be constantly reminded that I lost the baby. My mom and aunt went out to visit this week. And all I have been hearing is baby this and baby that. Well I dont' want to hear it anymore. I told my mom that it bothers me that she is doing this with her niece and not me. I feel her first experience doing all this baby stuff should be with one of her own children. Yesterday my mom went to the u/s and they found out she was having a boy. I'm happy for her but it's just not fare. My mom never experience an u/s before and today my cousin is taking them for a 4D u/s. I just wanted to do this first with my mom.
If I can't handle this how am I going to handle it when my cousin delivers her baby?

Sorry this is so long but I just needed to vent. DH keeps telling me to ignore the feelings that I'm having and eventually they will go away. I feel that when I do that they come back bigger and I cry even more.