[ToWhomItMayNotConcern]

I went to see my doctor last Monday due to some light spotting and me being paranoid. Well, it turns out that I had every right to be. There was no heartbeat. The doctor wouldn't tell me at first but I could see the heartbeat perfectly fine 2 weeks before. During the last appointment, my doctor had prescribed me an antibiotic for a urinary tract infection. Assuming it was fine, yet a little hesitant, I finally took it because I didn't want the infection to harm the baby, but I was also worried about the affects of the medicine as well. Still, I did research and found nothing saying that I shouldn't take this during pregnancy. However, it said to only take during pregnancy if necessary. My doctor found it necessary. By the time I had taken nearly all the pills, I was spotting. I'm not really sure when it started, but 2 weeks ago, there was a normal, strong heartbeat. I was 10 weeks along when this came about. I'm waiting around to see what happens. I didn't want to take the medication to induce it, or go for a D&C unless absolutely necessary. Work has been a little hard. I work at Wal-Mart. Nobody even knew I was pregnant. I have customers come up with there babies and baby clothes, and baby diapers, and baby everything. And I have to keep this terribly fake smile on my face for 9 hours a day straight. What's even worse, is everyone around seems to be in denial. My mom thinks that the baby is going to magically come back to life, even my dad didn't want to believe it at first. I hate everyone's hopeful outlook. It's over and done with and I can't move on if I can't accept that. Even the doctor didn't want to tell me right away. He wanted me to wait around, knowing in my mind that everything was not ok. Even the nurse who had talked to the doctor, knowing there was no heartbeat, told me everything was going to be ok. She knew better. She just wanted to give me a little bit of hope so that it hit me that much harder when I found out the truth. And then there's the baby's father, my sorry ex-boyfriend that I spent three years with, who would never leave me, especially if I got pregnant. He was praying that I would lose the baby anyways.

I guess I'm done rambling. None of that's important now. I guess I just have a few questions. I saw the doctor, asked a few questions, and I can't remember any answers. It's like I just went blank for the moment. I didn't make another appointment yet, I wanted to see how this would turn out on its own. But how long should I wait before I have to get a D&C. What's it really like? Does it hurt? Do they do an ultrasound before to check how much is left in there or what? This is nothing like they told me it would be. I was told that the baby would be fine as long as the discharge wasn't red and I wasn't cramping. Which I have experienced none of. They were wrong. I still wonder about that medication though. I should've trusted my instincts.

Thanks for all your help,
Rebecca