[tergom]

Hi I am new here and looking for advice on what to do about my 4 children.
My children ages: Son 34 single, no kids, Son 30 divorced, 2 kids, Daughter 24 single, 1 child and Son 21 single,1child.
2 of these children have a different father. I will try to explain this as well as I can, I hope you can follow this.
It seems that I have a dysfunctional family. I am a woman who has been married most of the time my children where growing up and worked full time most of those years. Looking back, I think most of my family problems stem from me working too much and not really seeing problems that were there in my family. It just seemed that everything was ok. The kids seemed happy and had all the necessities of life and were comfortable. I found out years later that this was not the case. They just were putting on a face, so to speak.
There was always bickering going on between the kids but I fiqured it was normal between siblings, but now I find out that there is something very deep seated between the 24 yr. old daughter and the 30 yr. old son and its carried on badly for the past 5 yrs and now its gotten so bad that I am at a loss as to how to help fix it. Its gotten so bad that It actually ruined my Christmas this year because my 30 yr. old son would not come for Christmas and stayed away. I am very heartbroken and I don't want this to continue any longer.
My 30 yr. old has been diagnosed with a mental disorder and refuses to take his meds for it, claiming it changes his thoughts, so he doesn't believe in taking it. He really has a attitude problem and alot of anger and I know where the anger is coming from (there's a story behind that). Also he is recently divorced which just compounded his problems, which affect and angers my daughter.
It seems that my other children also don't want anything to do with my 30 yr. old and they are wanting to leave him out of everything. They are all my children and I just can't take any more of this.
My question to all of you is : What can I do or say to re-unite my family?

Thank you so much I would appreciate any help
Ter